The special occasion of a wedding or graduation calls for you to wear something lovely! It calls for dressing up.
With that season coming upon us, I’ve been thinking a lot about what to wear. As I get older, I sometimes have to put a good bit of effort into attire so I’m not feeling frumpy. As we work on the heart issues of modesty, let’s also turn our attention to the exterior for a few moments.
It has been so much fun looking for clothes that are graceful and feminine, and yet don’t cause us to be despised in the eyes of the world. And while we aren’t of the persuasion to wear ‘skirts/dresses only’, there are many disturbing things out there. Happily, there are many women and girls who are standing up to the current downhill slide and saying, “No, I will hold the line!”
Have fun scrolling through some church to wedding to black tie event ideas for your busy schedule.
From Casual Dressy to Black Tie
For church, I dress nicely, but don’t get terribly fancy. I work in special needs and need freedom to move but still want to go to worship afterwards looking my best. I usually opt for mix and match. (I like to wear a midi and can still chase around with my kids! I always wear flats but also do resort to nice jeans.)
Mix and match is what you make it. It can be very, very laid back and super casual or not.
Mix and match (with any skirt length you prefer) is so easy to do and it is definitely the trend in clothing. Mix and match adds flexibility. This combination is classic, and it should be slimming at the hips with a lighter color on top and the darker (minimizing) at the bottom. Navy, red, and a spring floral cardigan:
Summer weight midi skirt (wear with a slip) and understated, but classic matching cardigan. Somehow the cardigan minimizes my waist. Light-colored shoes lengthen and add height. Black shoes would make this look awkward.
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Caroline from Modest Mom writes, “My sister and I went shopping after our mother passed away for outfits to wear to her memorial service. This is the outfit my sister ended up picking out and wearing (the picture is from Easter Sunday). My mother loved pink, so we both wore that color instead of the traditional black in honor of her.”
This is a great example of how to wear a little sweater or shrug over a sleeveless dress.
Here’s a pretty idea from Pinterest.
My friend calls her gorgeous, handmade dress the Gina dress…
April Cornell has always made such feminine clothing.
Just a thought on this photo below…the solid black top broadens the shoulders. But the tiny print (not a big, busy print), in this case, tiny polka dots, slims and seems to visually shrink the midriff.
Will this optical illusion work in every case? No.
Try it on: Lean over, bend, sit, cross your legs…
Every outfit is different. Before you buy anything, if at all possible, always try it on. Lean over, bend, sit, cross your legs. I could have saved myself so much time and effort if I had made that my rule.
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Another fabulous dressy look!
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Classic and pretty ~
with dressy little bow shoes ~
I can think of two reasons for a little shrug or a cardigan. One would be extra coverage for a sleeveless or tighter fitting bodice and the other for chilly weather. But even without those reasons, a simple, classic cardigan over a dress or tailored shirt and blouse makes me the least self-conscious. I want always to dress so I can focus on others and not myself.
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I love this ruffled Georgette dress and this lemon print dupioni midi dress from eShakti for summer. Carry a light accessorizing cardigan for a cool evening if you wish. Both can be customized by adding sleeves, changing the length, neckline, etc.
Sachiko named her J. Crew inspired dress the ‘Ivory Sunlight Dress’. She made it for $13.00 with a 40% off coupon at Joann’s. Here is her tutorial.
That Little Black Dress!
A classic black dress used to be a staple item in a woman’s wardrobe. Hopefully, it still is!
It is slimming to ALL figures if it fits well. Black slims and white expands. For those of you who have commented on having a problem with weight and feeling you don’t look nice in a dress, black is a good place to start. Avoid a gathered waist or one that is pleated and stay with an smooth-laying A-line skirt for the best visual slimming.
This is knock-dead gorgeous, (but modest). You don’t have to reveal your jewels to sparkle!
eShakti makes gorgeous dresses tailored to YOU!
While I am not an affiliate, I want to make you aware of this cool company! You can make sleeve, neckline and skirt cut changes which makes it absolutely a dream to choose your own personal style at a decent price. We (my daughter and I) have purchased a number of garments from eShakti and have been super pleased at the great quality!
This figure-flattering floral print party dress is dupioni and cotton knit! You can change up the neckline, by the way! If you are a new customer, you get a $35. gift coupon!
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While not for a black tie event, I found this particularly dreamy and feminine. Using a Jennie Chancey Sense & Sensibility pattern, I don’t think this would be so very difficult to sew.
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Is There Such Thing as a Modest Prom Dress Today?
To many teenagers, there’s nothing more iconic than the prom. The night lets youngins dress up and act like swanky adults until curfew — or at least that’s what every teen movie from the ’90s taught us. It’s no wonder that choosing an outfit for this evening is kind of a big deal. Prom dress shopping is a rite of passage in itself for many, and trying on magical gowns and flowing skirts is a dream — but some of the gowns out there are more like a nightmare.
Prom dresses today seem more like nightclub attire than for a prom, but you can help rectify that by a deeper search for truly beautiful ones. They do exist!
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Wedding Day
For that so very important day of your wedding, make sure you are totally comfortable in your dress. What I am saying is this: make sure it fits your personality. Comfortable doesn’t need to equate to expensive.
A dress that is modest and well-made will prevent a show when you lean over to kiss a flower girl or buttons that pop off as you hug Aunt Ann.
Above all things put on love
~ Colossians 3:14
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There are gorgeous yet modest wedding dresses to be found. Don’t despair and give up too quickly. You will have to live with that dress in the photos for the rest of your life, and your daughter will likely get some of her thoughts on modesty based on what you wore in your wedding.
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“A modest dress is a very good thing, if it be the genuine indication of a humble heart, and is to instruct; but it is a bad thing if it be the hypocritical disguise of a proud ambitious heart, and is to deceive. Let men {man or womankind} be really as good as they seem to be, but not seem to be better than really they are.” ~ Matthew Henry
Click the ‘Portrait Of Feminine Dress’ button above to find links for the earlier posts 1-6 and more ⇑
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Kendra @ AProverbs 31 Wife says
What wonderful outfits and styles! Modest never has to be frumpy!
Heather @ fearfultofearlessblog.com says
My problem is that I hate (hate, hate, HATE, really loathe) wearing almost everything with patterns, and definitely anything with ruffles or embelishments. I love just basic solid colors, but all of the ‘feminine’ clothes I see discussed a highly frilly and I just can’t bring myself to do it. Heck, even non-modest clothes in stores are fully of major prints, and the few that I find are very expensive.
Marsha Reagan says
Heather,
I was just thinking, if you can learn a few simple stitches on a basic sewing machine, (maybe pick one up second-hand at a goodwill or a consignment store – just be sure it has all parts and accessories with a manual) you can easily make many dresses and skirts. The patterns with ruffles and bows etc. almost always have simple, plain versions included as alternative patterns. Simplicity makes wonderful patterns and they aren’t dated, as you might think – they can be very trendy and yet modest, with several variations of hem length, sleeve length and style of each pattern. The patterns are also categorized by difficulty and skill level. You can use any pattern fabric you like in the weight recommended for the pattern.
JSYK – thought this might be an option for you, so many younger people don’t realize how such a skill could really change everything for them =)
Jacqueline says
Marsha, it does sound like you learned to sew … and quite well! I so appreciate your reaching out to others…
JES says
How lovely! I am a major April Cornell fan. The dresses they carry for girls were the only ones my daughter wore to church because they are SO appropriate. I would get them on clearance, Ebay or even found two at a Goodwill store! As always, I enjoyed reading this. Hope you have recovered from the lightening scare!
Jacqueline says
JES, the Lord has been so, SO kind, and we have learned SO much about trust and clinging to Him instead of our own devices! We thank Him even though it has been a big shake-up! Thank YOU for praying! I felt those prayers, dearie!
Angela Vance says
Fantastic post! I love being feminine – so fun! And I love maxi dresses too! Thanks for the post!
Vicky says
These clothes are so pretty! I have a treadle sewing machine that I love sewing on but, sometimes, I have trouble starting a project. Now, I feel inspired, again – thank you!
God bless, Jacqueline:)
Jacqueline says
OOh…if you make something, will you tell me of your post with a comment so I don’t miss it?? I am thankful 🙂
Eileen says
Ah, I am so happy to see this post! I was going to ask you if you had more feminine dress posts planned. And before I could ask, here is a new one. Bravo! My 15 and 17 year old daughters love to gather together with me and look at these posts. We are already working on making some of our favorite skirts we saw here. I hope you have more planned! (My 15 year old says she hopes you have many more planned). 🙂
Jacqueline says
That is so neat! I am blessed by your kind words 🙂 THEY will see good come from caring about this issue; it will have long-reaching benefits as they can be winsome culture-changers for the Lord! Sending hugs to you and your dear daughters :-))
Toni says
What lovely clothes! I may need to update my nearly frumpy closet. 😉
When our youngest got married a few years ago the wedding dresses in the shops were not an option. We went to 5 in the nearest city and came home disappointed every time. Lastly, we went to a little wedding boutique in our small town and saw the same barely-cover-anything styles, but my daughter asked if there was anything modest to be ordered. The folks who had the shop were super nice, and books were brought out to look through. We found a beautiful long sleeved (fall wedding), gracefully gorgeous gown. We didn’t have to do any alterations, either. So young, modest brides, ask for a modest dress. They can be found.
Jacqueline says
Toni~ Thanks for that encouragement! xoxo
Nabila Grace says
Loved all the examples! 🙂 I found an April Cornell dress for $2 for my daughter and I don’t want her to outgrow it! 😉 Thanks for such a great post!
Jacqueline says
I relate! We kept some gorgeous name brands we found at Goodwill years ago when our daughter was little!! Hopefully they can be worn by granddaughters!! Yippee!
Jan @ Another Hatchett Job says
All of the outfits that you showed are lovely! My largest problem in the summertime is that I live South of Atlanta and 99 degrees and 99% humidity is common in July and August. I look far better in a little cardigan over a dress, but that look can make me roast that time of year. Any suggestions for cooler alternatives?
char says
How about some of the lace blouses or sweaters that are popular now?
Courtney says
Beautifully done. Femininity is being eroded with each passing generation, and women need to be reminded what it is to be beautiful. However, while I love the dresses, I would have liked to see some examples of feminine, conservative blouse/pants combinations, since there are activities that simply cannot be done with dignity while wearing a skirt.
Jacqueline says
Hey, Courtney 🙂
How is Florida weather treating you? Here is a link that has a few pants in it…I do wear easy-fit jeans outside when I work (and sometimes old bibs) so I understand that need! I have gone to tops that are lower than my crotch to make me feel less visual, though, if you know what I mean!
https://deeprootsathome.com/a-portrait-of-feminine-dressing-part-3-outdoor-activities-and-exercise/
Warm greetings to your family, dearie!!!
Cinnamon says
Thank you for sharing all those beautiful outfits! I’ve checked out some of the links and have bookmarked them as I have 5 girlies (and me of course) who need links like these.
~Cinnamon
Patsy says
Very sweet and pretty dresses! You mentioned pearls and here in the Philippines you can buy a long length of pearls for $3.75, real ones! I recently bought 3 in different shades. I don’t really know why!
Here in the Philippines, young girls tend to follow what actresses and singers on TV wear and it’s all skimpy! Patsy
Blair says
Beautiful outfits! I wish I had taken more care for modesty in my wedding dress. Instead I chose to highlight the one “asset” I felt I had at the time. 🙁 I dress drastically different now and I have had to careful select which photos are appropriate for framing around our home. Oh, how I’d love to renew our vows in something like what is pictured above. (And to do it in a church this time!)
Jacqueline says
Blair,
“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.” ~Romans 8: 1-2
Don’t let Satan make you feel guilty, rather use it as a life lesson to teach your young children in a teachable moment. Tell them of (some) of your consequences as is appropriate and tell them how sad you are…it will be a lesson learned from the heart, perhaps! Love you!!
Danielle says
I really enjoyed this post–the clothes are beautiful and so feminine! However. Do you have any resources for those of us with a lot of girls to dress (nicely and modestly) and not much money to go around? One dress costs more than I can spend for my 3 girls in a season! Often my girls look (what I would consider) on the frumpy side, just to be appropriately covered. You know–the Good Will look! lol
I am learning to sew, but I’m not nearly proficient enough to make church clothes yet.
Jacqueline says
Yes, Danielle,
Yes, we have bought SO many things from Goodwill and thrift shops, but have just been fairly picky all these years. Wait for the really nice things to come along. You will feel better about being a witness for Christ (at least on the inside) (we must not, of course, be prideful), but they will also last longer and with better fabrics be easier to care for. Until just recently, my daughter and I would go to Goodwill for 30 minutes every week and ‘be on the look-out’. We had to be really choosy, b/c we could have come away with lots of modest frumpy things, but spend more than we realized in the long run. Goodwill really can add up…
If you don’t mind using my experience, my daughter and I began to develop and idea of what would look beautiful w/o looking frumpy. We even have had lots of families at church think we spend a good bit of $ on our clothes, but in reality an outfit might be from Goodwill or thrifted.
Check out garage sales in ritzier areas, local thrift shops, and maybe Ebay is a great place to find nice modest skirts. There is no online site I know to get something reasonably for girls new.
I hope that helps 🙂 God bless you as you raise your precious daughters for the Lord!! My biggest tip…don’t make clothing a legalism, but a joyful journey in dressing modestly from the heart and to get a good value.
Danielle says
Thanks! That helps–I never thought of making Good Will a regular thing. And you’re right about the heart–we’re working on that, too. Always a work in progress 🙂
Leslie A says
Beautiful Options! I love so many of these 🙂
BUSY MOM IN AL says
“You will have to live with that dress in the photos for the rest of your life, and your daughter will likely get some of her thoughts on modesty based on what you wore in your wedding.”
Oh, this is so true! I have “photoshop(ed)” my wedding photo so that I can have it displayed in my home. I wish I would have had some mentoring and advice at that time of my life to encourage me to think about those things! I pray that God would allow me to speak into my three daughters lives something different. There are many regrets and that is definitely a major one. I was so selfish and self-centered, I wish it could be done over too!
Young Christians ladies have such an opportunity to be “separate” in this world! Please take advice from someone who regrets many decisions. . . dress for the glory of God!
Lana says
One thing we found out the hard way about wedding dresses is that the ones on the hanger at the bridal shop have been tried on many, many times and they get stretched. You really need to order a size larger than the one you try on. My daughter was able to find a modest style but it was way snugger than we would have preferred. We have talked to many other young women who had the same experience.
Bridal shops have some little sleeves that can be added to the dress if you find a modest strapless dress. You may not have considered that strapless could be more modest but many of them are cut higher in the front so that you can keep them up. With the addition of the cap sleeves it can be a modest choice. That is what we did for my daughter’s dress.
Deborah M. says
I loved this post. I am 53 years old and because I am top heavy and now with the menopausal waistline I find it really hard to find dresses to fit nicely, especially if they have any cinching under the bust-line. I also have to find cooler fabrics with short or sleeveless tops as I just get overheated. I like tunics but find them hard to find, all tops seem to be not only low cut, cut too low in the armpit area and skimpy in the bottom. I used to sew dresses for me and my daughter when she was little but I just don’t have the time or a good machine anymore. The summer is easier to find a few dresses that flow away from the body, I seem to find 1 or 2 each year to add to my collection and have a lot of those long crinkle skirts with elastic waists. I thank you for addressing this subject. I have two sons and seven grandsons that will appreciate you teaching girls this so their eyes/hearts can be guarded.
Rachael says
What absolutely gorgeous, beautiful and cute outfits. I could go shopping from this post for my summer wardrobe if that was possible. Thanks so much for sharing. Love Rachael @ Inking the Heart (linking up with you at Weekend Whatever)
momstheword says
Such beautiful dresses, I don’t even think I could pick just one! But I sure loved those bow shoes! 😉
My son is getting married in the fall and so obviously I have to find a mother of the groom dress. I know several moms who have bought really fancy, expensive dresses when their daughters or sons got married, but I just can’t see the point in that.
I guess I’m just too frugal. I can’t see spending so much money on something I will only wear one time. I just want something pretty and simple and appropriate and, as you said, modest with no plunging necklines, spaghetti straps or slits or anything. Hope I can find something!
Thanks so much for linking up to the “Making Your Home Sing” linky party today! 🙂
Mrs. Sarah Coller says
I love this! Thanks for putting it together—can’t wait to show my daughter!
Rhonda Devine says
April Cornell is one of my favorites!! Always find something I like there:)
Thanks for the beautiful pictures and resources, Jacque!
LR says
Thank you for the beautiful post, especially about wedding dresses. My mom made mine last year, and I am so thankful that I do not need to be ashamed to show anyone my wedding pictures. 🙂 Thank you for showing that modesty and beauty should both be part of our wardrobe.
Samantha says
Hello!
I have been enjoying reading your clothing posts! They are very encouraging.
Jacqueline says
Thank you, Samantha! Glad to help!
Jessica L. P. says
Have you used eShakti personally? I’m considering ordering from them but want to make sure they’re trustworthy first.
DannyUK says
Some beautiful pieces here. #WakeUpWednesday
Elena says
Hallo Jacqueline,
thank you for this beautifull and usefull blog. I was inspired by your posts about dresses and made sundaydresses for me and my little daughter. (link is above). I was so disapointed with choise of dresses at the shops for pregnant women, and was looking for something modest but beautifull. And you have collected plenty of good examples to follow.
with love from Crimea,
Elena
Princess Tatters says
Beautifully done! I really enjoyed this post.
Grace & peace, Betsy
princesstatters.blogspot.com
Marsha Reagan says
I adore your pages, I have spent so much time on your site! It feels so wonderful to find a site that embraces modesty and femininity. So often, the two seem mutually exclusive and it makes me upset to think women cannot dress modestly and be cherished – or that this is how society pressures us to think – that we won’t look trendy, or stylish or we might have to worry about how others view us.
In actuality others will respond to how we are dressed by treating us with respect. You illustrate this beautifully.
This feels natural, and dressing this way makes me feel the emergence of my dignity, femininity and confidence, rather than overexposed or masculine. A girl is raised to portray modesty – in all she says and does and the way she presents herself in dress and decorum. A girl might stray from that out of curiosity – as I did. She might feel pressured by peers and society – as I did. When, as a woman, I have come back to that modesty, I have come home to myself, and realized that I was not simply portraying it – as something to take on or off as a piece of clothing. I knew as a girl I was not simply to show-off, but feel modest inside and reflect that outside. Now, as a woman, I come back to modesty and I feel it: this is the true me – I thought I was not modest, because my behavior had not been. I had been “acting” immodestly. I quit “acting” immodestly and started acting the way I was meant to be, again – with modesty. You so rightly say, “Protect your modesty, girls”.
My mom made so much of my clothing when I was young, even hair accessories to match. Other girls’ mothers inquired where she shopped and soon she started making custom clothing and hair sets to sell.
She made her own wedding dress – so tiny, and still timeless, (once again, modesty wins! You can never go wrong with it! Hers is a simple A-line which was surprisingly shorter length, (not short or long) a mid-calf “tea length” with a high collar and long, lace sleeves, like Duchess/Princess of Wales Kate’s dress (the bodice and sleeves). It’s so tiny, (she was only 98 lbs. and I always thought how ladylike and perfect she looked – but she thought she was too skinny – imagine that, the way we see ourselves does not matter – especially when we have children).
She didn’t want to leave any of my cousins out when she married, so she made them all flower-girls – many brides have several bridesmaids and my mother has five sisters, and three sisters’-in-law – she did, however, have nine – yes, *nine* flower-girls. She made each flower-girl matching dresses.
When I got older I begged her to make custom things I wanted and couldn’t find. I always had a flow of compliments and people asked me where I shopped. Sometimes they would even check my back for a tag when I told them my mom made it. I got a bit overblown with pride in my mother’s skill, and my beautiful clothing. My mom finally said to me, “Why don’t *you* learn to sew?” She refused to make any more of my clothing.
I know it is hard work to make certain things, (pleats! embroidery – AHH!!) I am sitting by my closet and there is a very simple, palest pink dress she made for me when I was about nine. It ties with a sash in the back, but the chest is a panel of the most intricate, lovely smocking. It is the smocking that stands out, and I know the time and effort it took to do such a lovely piece of work. She worked on it at night, bit by bit while I slept, the way my mother did so many things for our home and family. It was for me, because of her love for me, and now I know how to appreciate it.
Jacqueline says
Oh, my, Marsha!
I am loving this comment and the heart of what you have shared! I have been away and not able to answer comments, dear one, but I am so encouraged by your words 🙂 Oh, that we could all feel the love that your dear Mama poured into your life! How abundantly blessed and whole you are because of it! Is your mother still living and did you ever learn to sew? Have you written stories of your mother? What a wonderful example we could all learn from 🙂
God bless you!
Atlanta says
Hello, the picture of the blue eshakti dress in the bookstore is me. It came from my blog, Story of a Seamstress. I dont mind you using it, but I would appreciate a link back. Great post! Thanks.
Jacqueline says
Thank you so much, Atlanta! All done 🙂 I try to always give the source, but I was never able to identify it, and now I know! It is such a beautiful example of feminine beauty 🙂
God bless you!
Leigh says
So many pretty options! I am neither so young nor so slim as I once was, so finding clothes that make me look and feel good is more challenging these days. I’ve seen advertising for eShakti but never shopped their site. Perhaps I’ll take a peek!
Blessings, Leigh
Pam says
I have always been naturally a tomboy, and feel so not myself in frilly, flowery, feminine things, heels, etc. What adds to my discomfort immensely is that the Lord felt it best to bestow upon me a very ample bosom, though the rest of me is quite well proportioned and slim. I am so very uncomfortable in my own body because of my large top half, and loathe the eyes of men upon me, which happens often and just makes me want to stay home. Add to that the fact that I am always very very warm unless the room is quite cool (in which case everyone else is shivering) and it makes it hard to cover comfortably with a shrug or sweater. I try to dress in cool loose tops and skirts of appropriate length. Dresses are out because if it fits on top, it is way too large in the hips. I cannot sew clothing. So… I find dressing up most difficult. I find classic basic and sporty styles most to my liking and comfort but hard to find.
On another note, when I read the scriptures about modesty, it seems it is mainly speaking not so much of not showing skin (which seems obvious and hardly in need of mentioning) but of not putting on a flashy show, which to me translates to simplicity. I find it a discouragement when Christian women dress to the nines, with everything matching just so, frills, ribbons, lace, purses and shoes of different colors to match outfits, etc. It all seems so pretentious and unnecessary. What exactly is the point?
Jacqueline says
Pam, you should dress just how the Lord leads you. The point of that post is highlighting more classic feminine fashion which many like. I personally am more tailored, but it would be called classic. I am not at all wanting you to change your style. Just be you and seek what the Lord would have you do! I hope that helps 😀