Why didn’t I value myself or life when I was younger?
That is a question I will always ask myself. My low view of life harmed us more than we could ever have known at the time.
It took 19 years before we could have a child.
The reason?
We had not obeyed God’s commands before and after marriage, and we suffered consequences that would reach over many years. In some ways, those consequences still continue today, though forgiven.
Today I am the 60-plus-year-old mother of three active and involved young adults (now all three married as of Nov. 2017), but as my husband and I look back over what the Lord has done, we marvel at God’s grace and mercy. Our lives would have turned out so differently, and we can’t imagine life without these young people!
I will tell you the sad story.
The early 50s, when we grew up, saw increasing prosperity. After the horrors and hardships of WWII, families in the U.S. were focused on getting that new dishwasher, television, and maybe, even two cars. Women were leaving home for the job market in record numbers to have the desired extras.
Then in the 60s and 70s, rebellion and ‘free love’ on college campuses exploded onto the scene.
Most parents were totally unprepared to deal with it all, and thus, by default, didn’t. Busy with earning a living, many parents were out of touch with the social pressures their young people faced, the anti-God stance in schools, and the growing fractures between generations.
My husband and I both had parents who loved us, but their generation generally did not find it easy (or were unaware of the need) to discuss deeper issues with their young people.
Hippies, Vietnam and Roe v. Wade
While on campus, we ‘married’ ourselves (without family or friends) in a chapel before ‘God’ on the I.U. Bloomington campus. I lived in the frat house from Thursday to Sunday night, eating breakfast donuts from the kitchen and smoking pot in the evening with the rug tucked up to the crack under the door so no one would know. I wore a shiny navy-blue trench coat with a lambswool collar, tight turtlenecks and hip-hugging bell bottom jeans. Life was all partying or cramming for classes and finals. This was not at all abnormal during those years (’69-73) in the middle of the sexual revolution, the Vietnam War, Woodstock, and and the devaluation of life with the Roe v. Wade decision (1973).
Immediately out of nursing school, my boyfriend (now my husband of over 40 years) and I lived together as did many, but certainly not all, of our classmates. We were not inclined to get married, but finally did upon my mother’s persistent urging, and much to her relief (so my father wouldn’t know), the year of Roe v. Wade, 1973.
We were 21 and 22.
Upon graduation as an RN, I worked in open-heart surgery at a large metropolitan hospital. Occasionally, when there was a need for extra personnel in the abortion area of that hospital, I would be called on to assist- as were several other surgical nurses. Even after being raised in a private Christian school environment (and calling myself a Christian), I was unable to apply the things I studied in my catechism class to real life decisions. I was for all practical purposes “dead in my trespasses and sins.”
“And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience…”
~Ephesians 2: 1
Abortion – the taking of a life
I am ashamed to say that we had an abortion several years into our marriage. We had bought into the worldly view of living for ourselves, careers, money, and things.
Two decisions forever changed the direction of my life~ 1.) breaking God’s protective commands regarding the sacredness of marriage (having sex before marriage) and 2.) disregarding the sanctity of life (participating in abortions and having an abortion).
We also chose to believe the lies we were told so often we believed them.. women had rights and the ’tissue’ of a pregnancy wasn’t a real baby yet, anyway.
I didn’t know it would affect my health, my fertility in years to come, or undermine our own self-respect or our respect for each other.
After many years of wasted wandering, God faithfully lead us to a solid Bible-believing church, and I finally accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior at 31. By this time, I was really suffering emotionally with confusion, post-abortive PTSD and layers of dread and fear. The pain in my life clamored for my attention.
You can’t tell me that abortion doesn’t mess you up! I had already had a several miscarriages and knew there were other things wrong…very wrong!
The worst were flashbacks to assisting in a surgical abortion one day at the hospital where I found a perfect, tiny hand half the size of a dime stuck to the side of my gloved hand. It is terrible to remember it. I dropped what I was holding, ran out of the OR, and refused to go back. It has taken years for those scars to heal. I learned the value of human life in a split second. It wasn’t tissue to me anymore; it was a real, live baby!
Now slowly my perspective on life and living changed. My whole being desired to be a mother, to bring forth new life within our marriage and before God. And we could not! Years went by with several more miscarriages. We did two home-studies in order to adopt, one Korean, and one local, but the Lord chose to close the doors. These are stories in themselves…… Many, many (thousands of) people at our church and other friends were faithfully praying for us.
The Ticking Clock
After 8 years of pursuing medical help to conceive (Clomid and surgeries for endometriosis), and then 4 years off, I got a call from a surgeon friend I worked with who told me about a new procedure called GIFT (gamete intra-fallopian transfer). I was working nights, 7 days a week, to afford the earlier procedures since insurance wouldn’t pay for infertility treatment. I felt the clock ticking the years off my life….
After much prayer and many tears, we decided to go ahead with this new procedure. The first GIFT produced 2 tiny beating hearts, seen on an ultrasound at 4+ weeks. One was in the (wrong) fallopian tube… the damaged tube! We had a tubal pregnancy which is dangerous, but both babies failed to grow. It was so discouraging: over $11,000 and nothing to show for it, except stress and grief and high levels of drugs (Metrodin, Lupron, and Pergonal).
I was determined to continue since there was a 36% chance in those days of delivering a live baby. We were told there was no other way.
The second attempt went perfectly in every way. Twins! We were SO excited! My belly quickly expanded. 
My Belly was Shrinking
But, late in the fourth month, I realized I was not growing in measurement. I was getting smaller! A hastily arranged ultrasound revealed that one of the little lives I carried had died several weeks before. We saw a separate sac with little bones, and were told our second baby might die, too. We were crushed, and I was in anguish. I was guilty of all those earlier years and just knew I was being punished.
I almost forgot about the remaining life within me as I focused on the loss. “Why God?” Satan almost destroyed my joy, except that Jesus is greater! “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” (John 10:10)
Later, even though our other precious baby would be fine, I felt such frustration because if we didn’t want an only child, we would have to go through another of these uniquely stressful procedures with all the costs, shots, and stress leading up to it. Then once the procedure is over, there is the waiting for that determining ultrasound to give you the news, good or bad!
Having a baby can easily become an idol! I had to get over it so I could focus on having a joyful heart for my husband and new son. It was the will of a loving, sovereign God, and His comforting presence was very real.
“…give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” ~1 Thessalonians 5: 18
Finally, the day arrived, and the Lord in His mercy gave us a beautiful, healthy son. My aching arms were filled, and we dedicated him to the King of Kings for His glory!
I can’t describe the joy and wonder of it all. We had been married almost 20 years!
Jump Started for Life!
My doctor said I was ‘jump-started’ with all the hormones, so we did a third GIFT to give our new son a little brother or sister. And much to our surprise and JOY, we were blessed with adorable, healthy twins exactly two years later.
I was about to turn 43! We praise God for His abundant grace and mercy!
Now I Value Life!
It has been a long road to forgiving myself for assisting in abortions and killing our baby, but I found the Lord has welcoming arms to forgive us when we come to Him in repentance. We are sinners, but by His grace, we have hope…and now can see His guiding hand in it all. Thank You, Lord, for birthing in us new life, spiritually and physically!
“…I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live.” ~Deut. 30:19
~~~~~~~
The takeaway: We have been able to share with our children (appropriately, through time, we hope) the curses we had brought upon ourselves. That has protected them, to a large degree but not totally, from repeating the same mistakes which we made. It is a blessing to tell them of the protection and mercy from Lord even while we were still in unbelief —and of the restoring power we could only find in finally trusting Christ Jesus. Today we enjoy good relationships (yes, and the normal trials and challenges) with each of our children by the grace of Almighty God. I share this with you to encourage and strengthen YOU that no matter where you find yourself, our gracious God is always at work. Never, never give up hope, dear one.
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MIRIAM LUIZA
Oi Jaqueline!
As histórias tristes nos ensinam muitas coisas, principalmente estas que tem um final feliz. Deus transformou maldição em bênção, e hoje você pode glorificar a Deus pela grande vitória!
The sad stories teach us many things, especially those that have a happy ending. God turned the curse into a blessing, and today you can glorify God for the great victory!
Jedidja
Thank you very much for this story. It touches my heart
Mrs. Rebecca H.
Thank you for sharing your story Mrs. Jacqueline! I must admit you brought tears to my eyes. Our God is so good and so gracious to us.
Much love dear friend,
Rebecca
Jacqueline
Rebecca,
It was my pleasure.
I hope I didn’t shock anyone. My thoughts have been that “I care not if it makes me look bad if it makes much of our Lord!” “Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations.” ~Ephesians 3: 20-21
Warmly ,
Jacqueline
Mrs. Rebecca H.
I don’t think you shocked anyone, and I commend you for being so brave. So many times people try to hide their pasts and not share where the Lord has brought them from. People need to see that we are real, and have made mistakes, but they are covered by the Blood and He has given us strength and grace to leave our past and walk a new life in and through Him. It is amazing what the Lord can do with a life that fully yielded to Him.
Much love,
Rebecca
Carol
Yes and AMEN! I agree completely!
Chris
Good testimony, all the weapons of the enemy are sin-related. Too bad the Church is preaching license.
Jacqueline
Thank you, Chris!
KRISTINE KOFFKE
good morning Jacqueline!
a friend sent me your link @ i have a great team of prayer warriors for thus season in my life.
I am meeting with a radiation/oncologist today, nothing like the last minute, it’s how I roll! lol
I have a menginoma (sp) benign. had surgery to try and resection the mass located in my cavernous sinus area. it us effecting my right eye vision. next step us radiation. I have been doing organic castor oil compresses.
any other suggestions would be appreciated!
[email protected]
Jacqueline
Hi, Kristine,
I am emailing you now!
Blessings, ~J
Homeschool on the Croft
I just read this on the GH site and commented there.
This is a wonderful story that glorifies THE SAVIOUR!
Deanna
Thank you Jacqueline, for sharing your story.
It has beauty because of how the Lord saved you, and you are beautiful for yeilding your life to him. One day there will be many little ones around your table…..
Jacqueline
I can’t say it was my pleasure, but I just needed to do it. Thank you, Deanna. Oh, how I long for that day! Oh, now you’ve got me crying 😉 …
Robin
Praise the Lord for opening our hearts and eyes to His truth. His tender mercies are new every morning and He is so faithful to forgive us our sins. He heals the broken-hearted and makes the barren women to be a mother.
Our tales are different, but, oh so similar. How can one explain the ache in one’s heart for children, when it wasn’t there before? Only the Lord can do that.
May the Lord use your words to further His kingdom.
Love from the “raspberry patch”- Robin
Esther {Our Simple Country Life}
What a beautiful testimony of God’s grace and love. THANK YOU, for sharing. I know many lives will be blessed through this. You’ve tugged on my heartstrings through many of your posts. I am blessed to “know” you.
Jacqueline
Dear Esther,
It is a pleasure and a blessing to ‘know’ YOU!
I appreciate your prayers as this is read today, dear friend. Soli Deo gloria!
Lonnie L. Faith
PTL !
What a family reunion you will have in heaven!
God Bless you for sharing some of your journey and how God really, really does LOVE US.
Charlotte Moore
What a wonderful example of how GOD can change our lives. GRACE, GRACE, GOD’S GRACE, greater than all our sins.
I tried to sign the other blog but if there is no place to just enter your name I can’t do it. I do not understand how all those other choices work. I am not very computer savvy.
I was a bit confused in a couple of the pics. Your girls were bigger than your boy in one and you had 2 boys and a girl in another one. Just curious.
Jacqueline
Charlotte,
Hello! We are on a trip to NC right now, so I haven’t been on the computer at all. I think the photo that confused you is the one of my parents and siblings. It is the second picture. Anyway, isn’t our Lord so gracious to keep drawing us to Himself? Are you well? I’m sending you a big hug 🙂 Blessings,
Jacqueline
Jennifer
Thank you for sharing your journey and walk from darkness into the marvelous light!
God is so good!
What a precious testimony of His grace & truth in your life~
Phyllis Sather
What a great story of redemption.
Auntie Em
Jacqueline, thanks so much for sharing your beautiful story of forgiveness and restoration. When Christians show that they are “real,” and that Christ loves and uses all who will be used, I think it is a great testimony of His power!
I have really enjoyed reading your blog- it’s very wise and inspiring
Rachel @ day2day joys
Jacqueline, what a timely post! “Having a baby can easily become an idol!” ohh how that hit me, that is what I have been doing, drowning in my own pain and sorrow of mt pregnancy losses. Tears pouring down my face now… something woke up inside of me (like the Lord was trying to get my attention) and last week I think my healing really began!
I wrote this on my fb page last week: I’ve been held captive to it, letting it “control” me in a way… hurting myself even more, those around me, and not letting the Lord be in control. I can say all day long that His plans are better, and I really believe so but my flesh just couldn’t let go…. so many fears (what if I never have another baby… that I so desperately want) but this week I know that I need to break the chains of doubtfulness and let God lead and my husband and NOT the pain!
Thanks for your honesty and courage through your words! So beautiful!
(btw, I think I was crying more bc I was listening to Classical Music Medley on Pandora… and now I have a smile bc it’s the Forest Gump, Film Score… which represents the time of your life you were making some hard choices)
Jacqueline
Oh, dear sister,
I am with you there! I wish I could put my arms around you and comfort you, but the Lord is doing a far better job than I ever could. Trust Him! He will never withhold good from you. His ways are infinitely better than our ways! I am praying now that you will be able to rest in whatever His way is. Someday, in Heaven, we will understand it all!
” For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.” 1 Corinthians 13: 12
Much love to you, dear Rachel.
With Affection,
Jacqueline
Jan Co
What an awesome testimony to life. I work at a Pregnancy Care Centre in a small town in Ontario, Canada. Thanks to the Lord, for blessing you with your children. All is grace.
Blessings,
Jan
Kate @ Teaching What is Good
I’m so blessed to have read your story – God is in the business of redemption and hearing His testimonies from our broken lives shows more and more of His power and glory!
Thanks so much for linking this up today!
Christie
Thank you so much for sharing your heart and making MUCH of our Lord!!! My heart is broken for the children lost to abortion and my prayer is that the Lord will bring more and more women to himself through this tragedy! I found you through Women Living Well!
Christie
http://satisfactionthroughchrist.blogspot.com
Charity
I can only imagine what it felt like to go through all you did and the pain you feel…my heart goes out to you. I’m so thankful God finally gave you the desires of your heart! How great HE is to give “beauty for ashes”!!! To think of the precious children waiting for you in heaven…while being excited about how God can use the ones on earth to advance His Kingdom around the world is so incredible! Thank you…for showing such humility and transparency to share your testimony. It blessed my sister, Mom and I as we read and we cried and rejoiced along with you! My Mom was so excited that “C….’s mom” was the one who wrote the blog I’ve been talking about!
I’m so thankful for the example and encouragement you’ve been to me already. I’ll continue to pray for you as you live for Jesus! May God shower you with blessings!!! =)
Love,
Charity
Jacqueline
Aww.. thank you, Charity! To God be the glory and praise! He is so faithful and true…even when we are not!
Blessings to you all in FL,
Jacqueline
Charity
You’re more than welcome! Blessings…:)
Charity
Connie Par-Due
thank you so much for sharing your testimony. I had tears in my eyes as I read it. You have wonderful children and I can say that because I have met two of them, working at Answers in Genesis! 🙂 They are such wonderful Christian kids. Praise the Lord for His mercy and grace and for what He has done in your lives!!!
Jacqueline
Aww..Connie,
I can’t thank you enough to hear those words about our children! We are so infinitely blessed! “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.” 3 John 1:4
sheensteve
What a beautiful testimony of God’s grace and redemption, Ms.Jacqueline. I’ve been blessed reading your story. I pray it blesses many. God bless you!
Christina Gavenda
Very well said Jacque 🙂 Beauty for ashes… oaks of righteousness, a planting for the Lord.
Amanda Mills
Thank you for sharing this very difficult time in your life. God has given you a beautiful testimony of His love and grace! I was wondering if we ever attended a meeting about GIFT at the same time. Greg and I were looking into that in the late 80’s – early 90’s.
You are so special to me, Jacque.
Love,
Amanda
Ellie Ray
Thank you for that touching story. Isn’t it wonderful that God forgives?
Mama Mellie
So glad that you didn’t sit on your testimony, as so many others do. There are so many others who didn’t make it to a testimony–they have let their sins hold them captive. Glory to God for His grace, His healing, and His timing!
My step-mom was a product of that same era and has not faired well. When my husband and I became pregnant out of wedlock, she offered to take us to have an abortion, because that is what she had done for herself and her own girls many times before. She believed it was the right thing to do. (Of course, we declined. We got married and have a beautiful 10 year old boy and 5 year old girl.)
I appreciate you!
amotherscalling
Such a beautiful testimony. God’s work in our lives is so amazing, and it is always an encouragement to hear what He has done in others. Life is precious. In a culture that embraces death, it sometimes takes great extremes to get our attention.
Jenn
I love you. The Lord bless you, you beautiful godly woman.
Far Above Rubies
Simply beautiful, Jacqueline. Thank you so much.
Blair Allen
Jaque, you are absolutely gorgeous! Inside and out!
Megan A.
Powerful, powerful post, Jacqueline. Thank you for sharing your story with us.
xo
Megan
Greg and Donna
What an incredible story! Thanks for sharing!
Sarah
wow – what a journey! thanks for sharing with us.
myheartsmission
What a beautiful testimony. Brought tears to my eyes! God bless you; thank you for sharing.
Jaclyn Moses-Wells
This has been my favorite story so far. Thank you foe sharing.
Bambi
Jacque, Tears streaming down my face. Oh the grace of God is a beautiful thing! I am praising and praising Him for His redemptive work through the shed blood of Jesus!! How thankful I am that you shared this story with us, and I’m praying it leads others to the cross.
Joanna
My heart weeps for your sorrows and rejoices for your joys in coming to find the preciousness of life! Seeing parts of my own life story in yours, I think these tears are for both of us…and all the other women trapped in the lies of this world!
Marci
Jacque I am so thankful for you and I truly thank my God for you always. Thank you for sharing dear sister.
Denice
Thank you for your beautiful transparency. I hope you don’t mind that I’ve posted the link to this post on our local Pregnancy Resource Center’s Facebook page. So many need to hear the personal testimony of God’s grace!! I know you will be richly blessed for allowing the pain of your past mistakes minister to others.
Rachelle
Oh Amen! Praise you Jesus! King of Kings, Lord of Lords! There is Victory in Jesus. He redeems. He forgives. He saves. He uses bad for good. He redeems our shame and darkness and uses it for His glory when we turn to Him, surrender to Him, accept His most wonderful gift of forgiveness, hope, salvation, fullness and freedom through Christ Jesus our Lord!!! You win Jesus! Thank you! Your story is beautiful! So hard and so good. Thank you Jesus! Thank you Jacqueline for sharing and glorifying God. I am blessed and encouraged as you share and write all God has layed on your heart through your blog. We are kindred spirits. God continue to bless you and your family for His glory!
Jacqueline
Rachelle,
I will never be able to communicate the deep, deep love of Jesus! He encompases LOVE and grace and mercy and wisdom!
So thankful for you, sister! Stand firm as the days unfold!
Love,
Jacque
Homemanager
Dear, dear Jacqueline, my friend…you are a wonderful woman of God…a wonderful instrument in the Lord’s hand and your humble and precious testimony brings much glory to Him. From interacting with your lovely daughter, I know that you are also a precious Mother…I’m so very blessed to have you as my friend..
~K
You are so the classic example of the American woman of the last generation (also mine)
The reaping what we have sowed and the listen to the world not the WORD.
Please may I share and THANK YOU for telling your story of redemption and amazing blessed grace.
PS I love those pants your husband has on in the picture of the three couples. Classy!
g_campos
This was truly a beautiful and powerful testimony. Women should share their stories more often. God honors such honesty! Too often we are silent and ashamed. Thank you for sharing. I’m blessed to have stumbled upon you!
farmlife chick
THANK YOU for ssharing this! The Lord has been working on my heart to share my testimony as well. Before the Lord saved me I too had not one abortion, but two. He has allowed me to experience the joy of being a mother despite my actions. It is a long story, so that is all I will say in this comment. But I must say that he is a truly merciful God, words cannot describe. Have to get a kleenex now!
Jill's Home Remedies
I am in tears, Jackie! God bless you for your testimony and the witness you are! {Many Hugs} jill
gracea
Thanks for sharing this story! It is amazing how God can take the broken pieces of our life and make something beautiful out of them!
Anne
Thanks so much for sharing your heart. The idea of making an idol out of having a baby spoke to me. While I’ve never had an abortion, I’ve had several miscarriages and I know how much wanting a baby can consume your thoughts and really your whole life. I never really put the word “idol” on this obsession until I read your testimony just now, but that’s exactly what I was doing. God’s always there to steer me back to Him and to let Him be in charge. He makes everything beautiful in its own time, even tough things like losing children. Thanks again!
sue
May God continue to bless you as I’m sure He has already. I pray your testimony will bless many and encourage others that none of us are perfect, but God can take us with all our imperfections and make us into something that can bring Him great glory if we are willing! Thank you for sharing in the way you did. I have been blessed each time I’ve visited your blog!!
sue at thet2women.com
Jacqueline
Thank you, Sue.
God has been so gracious and yet firm to bring me to Him. It has been so painful, but I am much more a willing vessel now. Still so much growth still ahead. And..thank you for your kind words. I know I don’t have to ask you to join me in praying that we Titus 2 women will make a difference for the kingdom! Blessings, friend.
Spencer
Thank you for sharing your heart. I’m so happy that you came to know Jesus and you have a wonderful family today.
Many Blessings,
Spencer
Janet
Thank you for sharing your testimony. That takes courage and obedience to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit. Praise God for His work in your life.
Constance Reeder
Jacqueline,
Thank you so much for taking the time to share your testimony! I truly believe our testimonies are so important as we give glory to our God and give strength to our fellow sisters and brothers in Christ! What the enemy met for destruction in your life, God has truly used for something Beautiful! Hallelujah! Thank you! Con- simplyliving101.com
Jessica
Dear Jacqueline,
Thank you for sharing your heart for younger women, and for your courage. Reading your testimony was a privilege, and I thank God for you. I lost my mother suddenly 6 months ago, and it means more to me than ever to have Christian women to look up to. Learning from you, listening to your experience and wisdom, is a treasure.
Sincerely,
Jessica
Jacqueline
Dear Jessica,
My heart goes out to you. I am so sorry.
Thank you for your kind words of encouragement…it is the Lord, and I am nothing without Him. To God be the glory!
I am praying for you now~ thank you for sharing with me, friend:)
Michelle Tijerina
Thank you for your wonderful testimony Jacqueline. My sister also had an abortion before knowing The Lord, and it still haunts her today. Her name is Anne-Marie and she lives in Brussels, Belgium. Please pray for her. Thank you.
The Lord saved my husband and I in 1976, while in the process of getting a divorce (long story) and our lives, which were in shambles and headed for disaster, were totally changed. What the Bibe says is true : Jesus saves to the uttermost, … and brings people back together. Thanks to Him, we have now celebrated ou 44th year ofmarriage. God bless you and your family.
Jacqueline
Dear Michelle,
I am smiling as I realize how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ! He covers it all when we put our faith in Him, praise God! I WILL pray now for Anne-Marie. May the Lord comfort and encourage her…His grace is sufficient! We were in Belgium 2 years ago and loved the people. Do you have you story written on a blog for me to read? Consider writing it out, if you haven’t already, as a wonderful testimony to God’s amazing love for us 🙂 Bless you, Michelle.
Michelle Tijerina
Thank you so much for your reply Jacqueline. It is such a pleasure for me to find a sister in The Lord on, of all places, the Internet. I am not very good with computers and would not know how to write my testimony on a”blog” (not sure what it is). I wish I knew how, for The Lord has done marvelous things in our lives. Thank you for sharing so freely. In His wonderful love, Michelle
Linda
How funny, I too have a 21 yo son (22 next week!) and 19 yo boy/girl twins! I’m in my 40’s however, so kudos to you. What a sad but inspiring story…
Mrs. Sarah Coller
What an amazing testimony! Thank you so much for sharing it—what a very faithful God we serve!
Blessings,
Mrs. Sarah Coller
Jacqueline
Thank you, Sarah! We DO serve a great Lord!! It keeps me humble to think about it. Blessing for a new year walking with Jesus.
Abby
Thank you for openly and honestly sharing your story. You are a blessing.
Freda
Praise God for His grace!
Kristin
Not only are you physically beautiful, but spiritually. Your blog is very anointed and edifying. I feel God ministering to all the broken hearts through your testimony. Thank you for being so courageous in sharing your life trials with us! God Bless you and your family…
Jacqueline
Kristin,
Thank you for your kind words, sister. May it all be to the glory of our risen Lord!
Eve Drew
I finally had a chance to read your testimony, when I met you in person my heart went out to you for the pain you must have felt when you came to the realization of what you participated in. I am so thankful that God shows mercy to us when we need it most. I could tell from reading your blogs that you truly speak from your heart. A heart that has been broken and knows the sorrow of sin but healed by the blood of Jesus. Thank you for sharing. I love you sister. I cannot imagine what it would be like not to have forgiveness in our lives. Praise God for miracles!
Jacqueline
Oh, Eve, it WAS special meeting you and all the other reps! It was a much needed mini-rest. You are so loving; thank you for your kind words, sister! I hope to see you at the convention if not before!! Blessings and a hug!
Jennifer "InfertilityMom" Saake
Thank you for your sweet encouragement on my blog and for sharing your story.
Blessings!
jenni from Stroke of Grace and Hannah’s Hope (infertility book)
Sitso
Hi Jackie,
I was on the Internet reading about raspberry leaf tea and came across your testimony.it brought tears to my tears and it goes to say our “God is faithful” and there is absolutely nothing He can not do. It also encourages me in a special way because I am looking forward to my first pregnancy. To God be the glory.
Jacqueline
I am so thankful that it encouraged you, dear Sitso 🙂 To God alone be the glory and honor and praises! I am praying right now for this precious baby you are carrying inside you. May the peace, joy, and grace of Jesus abound to you, your family, and this little one always!
jules
God Bless You! If you have not gone on a Rachel’s Vineyard Retreat – I encourage you and ANY woman who has had an abortion to go as soon as possible.
http://www.rachelsvineyard.org
http://www.silentnomoreawareness.org
By the way – men suffer too! Please encourage others – adoption is the answer! God intended marriage to be unitive and procreative, but if it is not possible, adoption is the loving option.
Judith at WholeHearted Home
That was a beautiful redemptive story that I am so thankful that you shared.
Annie Kate
Dearest Jacqueline,
Tonight I came across a similar story, and now yours! I am copying what I wrote to the other poor suffering mother (http://www.myjoyfilledlife.com/2013/05/you-would-be-18.html) because you and your readers may be blessed by it:
Oh, there is so much suffering in the world! May God be with you and give you comfort. May your story help other women and save babies.
I reviewed a wonderful book last year about healing: Cradle My Heart: finding God’s love after abortion. Perhaps it will bless you as well.
http://anniekateshomeschoolreviews.com/2012/08/review-cradle-my-heart-finding-gods-love-after-abortion-by-kim-ketola/
(hugs) to you this Mother’s Day. May you feel, deep in your heart, that the Lord Jesus has taken this upon himself and that you are forgiven.
Jedidja
Thank you for telling this! Idd I think it’s good for our children to tell us about our lives. Our past and how God has changed us.
Here my story: http://kostbaar.blogspot.nl/2012/06/ik-vergeef-je-mamma.html#.Ua39l_DCRdg
Jacqueline
Jedidja, Thank you! I will come and read your story, dear one 🙂 I am blessed by you so often!
Momma Patricia
Dear Jacqueline
our daughter had an abortion just last year. We tried everything we could to help her choose otherwise. The trauma she has experienced in the last year breaks my heart. Randy Alcorn said in his book something to the effect that those who have sinned the most, know the extent of Grace extended to them. (my personal mantra for my past mistakes and now sharing those mistakes and giving Satan no room to cause me to hide) I pray my daughter will accept the grace offered and help others avoid the pain. Thank you for taking the risk of sharing, and blessing us with the story of God’s redemptive work in your life.
with a grateful heart
P
Jacqueline
Oh, Momma Patricia,
I am praying for your dear daughter. Oh, how the evil one hates us and will stop at nothing, BUT GREATER IS HE THAN HE THAT IS IN THE WORLD!!
Trust Jesus with her; He loves her and His ways are above our ways! Love covers a multitude of sins! Hugs <3
Momma Patricia
oops Randy’s book was The Edge of Eternity…
Rhoda
Dear Mrs Jacqueline,
I have always loved your blog since I found it a few months ago, with all its beautiful pictures and profound words. So I decided to read your testimony and get to know you better. Wow! I was so surprised and saddened to read your story. But I rejoice with you, that God showed you the value of life
I feel so blessed myself, to be able to read all these wonderful blogs, to treasure life, and to know God as a young woman, with the vision of showing these wonders to many others!
In Christ, Rhoda
Jacqueline
Thank you, Rhoda. I appreciate your kind words, and it is so wonderful to wake up each morning in the renewed knowledge that we are loved with a profound, saving love from our Lord! To him be the glory!
Jen
Thank you for sharing and not ‘sugar coating’ your testimony. I am sure it has blessed so many. I was thinking of the verse which says what satan intended for evil, God intended for good. It is amazing, even as I look over the messiness of my life that God has traded beauty for ashes. He can use even the dark places of us that we don’t want anyone to see. Keep up the good fight. It will be an encouragement to many.
Beth
Jacqueline, thanks for sharing this. I have been unable to get pregnant due to excessive abuse as a little girl, I am 56 and still have names for twin daughters and verses for redemption and think of Sarah who was pregnant when she was 90. We tried the adoption years ago and have never qualified with our low income. Oh we serve a wonderful God of second chances and what Satan meant for evil God will use for good. Ever entry I read on your blog heals my heart in some way. Gods best to you today.
Gigi
Thank you for this amazing post! A truly inspiring story. God also opened my eyes in the area of abortion (in all areas I should say!) after coming to Christ and having my first 6 wks ultrasound appointment and seeing that little tiny heart beating! I used to be the “I wouldn’t do it, but won’t force my view upon others” type of person. But reality was that I just did not value life and did not see unborn life for what it is: PRECIOUS GOD-GIVEN LIFE! But OH did my heart change when I saw my first-born precious heart beating when she was only an agglomeration of cells! But I have to remind myself of the blindness I was enslaved to before Christ, so that I don’t start judging others, and instead can point them to the Creator so that HE can open their eyes as well! Aren’t we blessed to have been chosen by our Creator?!?!?!!! I pray that God will open many eyes through your beautiful and powerful testimony!!! Your pain shall not be in vain, but used mightily by our GOD!
Jacqueline
Gigi~
Thank you for those encouraging words, new friend and sister! I thank the Lord right along with you…we are so very blessed that he called us to Himself, and Yes, may He use our lives as testimonies to open other’s eyes, but NEVER let us judge others (or become prideful) lest He judge us the same. Blessings to you, Gigi!
Kate
I read your testimony and cried! I had a very rocky road as well, prior to coming to Christ at 28. I had 5 abortions, was abused and went through some very traumatic things in my 20’s- all in the name of living “freely” as our culture sells to us. Well, God has completely blessed my life now by giving me a wonderful husband, and 3 beautiful children-which I do not deserve. He has restored to me “the years the locust have eaten” (Joel 2:25)!
But I wanted to point out that there is a very real problem of Abortion’s “Walking Wounded”- the moms who are struggling with guilt, fear and condemnation regarding there abortions. This is IN THE CHURCH! Many of these women (like I was) are trying to heal while taking care of their little ones, and their families are suffering. I went through a bible study called “Binding Up the Broken-hearted” by the Healing Hearts ministry, and God used it to set me free. I know there are others out there, but this one I know first hand helped me tremendously.
Thank you for your transparency on a very sensitive subject. May God Bless YOU!!!
Jacqueline
Dear Kate,
I am so grateful to hear how the Lord is mightily at work changing lives! He Lives! Christ Jesus lives today!
Thank you so much for sharing your story and taking the time to tell us about Healing Hearts Ministry! I’m thinking of how we can comfort with the comfort He has given us!!! “…who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” 2 cor. 1: 4
Dear Lord, please show us those we are to speak with and guide our words by Your Holy Spirit!
God’s rich blessings to you and your sweet family!!!
Dolly
Thank you so much for your transparency! Your story is a difficult, but beautiful one! You’ve touched me in ways you couldn’t even imagine!
Thank you so much for this blessing!
Jacqueline
Praise God, Dolly! It is ALL Him!
marissa
Thank you for sharing your story – the courage and heart it took to publish this is an inspiration. I just discovered your blog and your writing, remedies, and recipes are an absolute delight. I look forward to healing and teaching my young family from your wisdom.
Jacqueline
Thank you. To our Lord be the glory!
Jess
Thank you for sharing this story. I just happened to stumble across it on pinterest. I am a young Mum (28) to four little children under 5. Some days are tough, but your perspective on the value of life and your abortion experience, makes me love and appreciate these little blessings from Heaven even more. I know our Father in Heaven loves each of us and is forgiving. We are His children and I know families can be together forever 🙂
Mary
This is a sad story. Thankfully it has a beautiful ending. So many of the people promoting abortion simply don’t realize they are actually taking a life and the consequences are immense. If only young women could see before did it. Although it never happened to me, I can imagine myself being wrongly influenced by social pressures of the time and not being supported by my family and making what I thought was simply a ‘decision’ and not realizing I was taking a life and would regret it forever. I can’t imagine how doctors and nurses can get through it day after day. Thankfully you were strong and left the situation. This is a helpful and inspiring testimony.
Jacqueline
The Lord is so, so gracious and loving; His mercies ARE new every morning! Praise God!
Gayle Brown
Jacqueline,
Thank you for your courage and honesty in obeying the Lord’s prompting to write this post. I just read it after looking up how to make elderberry tincture and followed the link to your testimony. (-: I have several friends who have suffered consequences of a past abortion. They have confided in me secretly, but do not want to confess their sin, as though abortion is unforgivable. Praise God that all sin is forgiven when we accept the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. I can’t help thinking what a healthier place the church would be if we would all be willing to confess and forsake our sin as you and your husband have done. May God’s grace rest upon you,
Gayle
Maggie
Thank you for sharing your story. However, I really need to point out, from a medical standpoint, that abortion does NOT cause endometriosis. “Endometriosis is a disease in which tissue similar to the lining of the uterus (endometrium) is found elsewhere in the body (ie. outside of the uterus) typically in the abdominal cavity…. This tissue causes nodules and inflammation, which results in scar tissue and adhesions. Symptoms are wide-ranging, and often start in adolescence, but may be … under-recognized by the medical and lay communities alike… Endometriosis … is the most common cause of infertility in women.” I think that we women beat ourselves up for things that are beyond our control, and seek to control things that we just can’t. It is my sincere belief that no one gets endometriosis as a punishment for being sinful, and no one is cured of endometriosis by renouncing sin. I just can’t believe in a God that would arbitrarily decide “Hey, that girl had sex before marriage, I’m going to give her some nodules that cause adhesions that make it challenging for her to get pregnant.” I surely can’t tell you how to live your faith life, but it seems to me that part of your healing process might be to admit to yourself, 100%, that your condition likely started when you were a teen and that you were helpless to control it.
Jacqueline
Hey, Maggie,
I sure hope I didn’t infer that my infertility was all the endometriosis’ fault. There were also other problems. And for sure, I do not believe that our heavenly Father would punish saying, “Now you can have endometriosis.” Abortion is killing human life, but there were so many other consequences besides health concerns: relational, emotional, and spiritual of which we’ve had our share. Simply put, sex before marriage is NOT the BEST, and abortion is an abomination. My mind is free and at rest, and I am forgiven. What a mighty God we serve! This article may help, too: http://www.nairaland.com/301409/abortion-robbed-me-children-infertility
Helene
Hi Jacqueline,
Your story touched me. My grandmother married at the age of 31 and had had 7 healthy children (one each year except during WW2 when her husband was a POW) by the age 41. Her 8th pregnancy went well, but the labour didn’t: she had obstructed delivery and the children (twin boys) were stillborn. Unfortunately, there were no scans in those days. She grieved and grieved for those 2 kids, and would have let herself die of hunger if it hadn’t been for the other 7. She absolutely wanted to have another baby, and for the next 12-15 years (she was menopaused late) she would become pregnant several times a year. The pregnancies would always end in a miscarriage, sometimes as late as the 4th month, and each time she would grieve, until the next conception etc.
I haven’t had the joy of conceiving yet: like you, I was brought up as a Christian, and won’t have sex outside marriage, more out of feminism than for any religious reasons (‘I am not that cheap!’ as I always put it). I am now near 40, and unfortunately, find it so difficult to make a living as a single person that I do not see how I could ‘risk’ getting married, let alone having kids: I would lie awake at night worrying about becoming homeless, kids not being able to fulfil their potential etc. Our world is so materialistic too: all my colleagues ever talk is what they have, never what they are or what they do… When you can buy a gem of a book for a couple of quids, or go for a walk somewhere beautiful for free!
Thanks for your blog, I found it as I was looking for a recipe using aronia berries. I will keep checking it out.
Jacqueline
Aw, Helene, I would love to sit with you an sip on a tea or coffee and just share stories of life! It sounds like you and I would have so much to talk about. I’m praying for you now (about all the things you mentioned and more!). Would you lift me up, too, if you think of it? We need to stand with each other, friend. Grace and peace to you.
Julie
What a testimony! I’m a mother of two young boys, 15 months apart, and they’re currently asleep 🙂 I, however, just stumbled onto this page looking for an elderberry syrup recipe and am in TEARS over this! While I’ve never experienced an abortion, your story truly shows me how emotionally traumatic it can be. I still walk away encouraged, however, because the blood of Jesus is able to cleanse us and make us clean from all unrighteousness! I’m glad you were able to value life.
I’m learning to value it too 🙂 Even when it’s a two year old throwing a fit that you THOUGHT you trained them NOT to do! Ha! The Lord humbles me. I’m learning to love the little lives God has given to me for this (short!) time and to not take it for granted.
Thank you for this entry!
Jacqueline
Julie, thank you! I am thankful, thankful for that blood of Jesus that cleanses us from all our sin! Keep persevering, dear Mama, in the training. It will pay you ALL back 1000-fold in years to come if you are consistent with love and grace!
Warm hugs to you and yours on this chilly fall day 🙂
Lunar- South Africa
Aunt Jacqueline, your testimony has touched me too as I relate much to it. Having had two abortions myself I glory God that you are in a state of contentment and without guilt. I have a child outside consived outside marriage and had been reckless most of my life, I am still stumbling but eargerly learning the way of the Lord. My life is not anywhere near were I would have loved to have at my age 32 but your testimony is reaffirming that delay is not decay. I trust that the Lord will perfect that which concerns me as declared in His word. thank you once again, because somehow this testimony is still making an impact years after it was shared. May the Lord continue to use your testimony to touch others for His glory….
Jacqueline
Dear Lunar,
I wish I could hold and pray for you, dear one. I am so thankful the Lord is gripping your heart and that He can use my little story to bless and encourage you. Oh, it brings joy and tears of happiness to my eyes! To think that He can ‘restore the years the locusts have eaten.’ I cna’t imaging what would have happened to me if He hadn’t called me to Himself!
Lunar, I am praying for you now! Thank you, friend, for sharing your heart with me!
“Then I will make up to you for the years That the swarming locust has eaten, The creeping locust, the stripping locust and the gnawing locust, My great army which I sent among you. “You will have plenty to eat and be satisfied And praise the name of the LORD your God, Who has dealt wondrously with you; Then My people will never be put to shame.” Joel 2: 25-26
Lunar- South Africa
Aunt Jacqueline, thank you so much once again.
Karl
Praise God for your ministry.
Jacqueline
Thank you, sir! May the Lord bless your family and grow you all in grace, peace, and love 🙂
Sue
I had an eating disorder and weighed under 80 pounds. Some professionals counseled me to abort, and I that it was just a blob. As a Christian, I knew abortion was wrong, but had been scared into thinking that my child would be deformed. Was it really human at such a young age? Happily a pro life organization showed me what my child would look like at 10 weeks, the minimal age at which an abortion may be formed. Tiny hands and feet, totally human, beautiful. Thankfully, God had given me a verse that very morning which drove my pro life decisions home. In the psalm it said Psalm 139:16
Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.
Jacqueline
Oh, Wow!! Sue, I had never noticed that word ‘imperfect’! Yes, the little baby ‘continues to be fashioned’ as it states and the Lord is in control of it all to His glory! Oh, thank you, thank you for pointing that out! I love how He drove that decision home to your heart. That was undoubtedly the Holy Spirit 🙂
I am praying for your health and family now and so glad that we can be sisters in the Lord! Blessings!
Jacqueline
Sue, I stopped over to your blog and couldn’t make a comment (no comment line)! I was blessed by that 12 y.o.’s talk about abortion to hear her share these vital truths. May the Lord be lifted up and people come to see the truth!
Thank you!
Jenny Schmidt
Oh, bless you for sharing! Yours is an incredible testimony of God’s loving faithfulness. Your heartaches and pain have certainly given you a strong value of human life. Blessings to you and your family!
Jacqueline
Thanks, Jenny. I’m going to stop over and see your blog in a bit!
Blessings 🙂
Kimberly cleck
I want you to know how much your testimony has personally blessed me today.I also experienced an abortion many years ago, before I knew the Lord, and although I know He has forgiven me, I still feel the sense of loss that only a woman that has walked this path can feel. Please know I will be praying for you, dear friend. And I rejoice with you also, knowing that our missing children will be awaiting us on glory with our Lord. :). Blessings to you! ! Keep blogging and sharing your heart. He is using you! !! Hugs!
Jacqueline
Oh, how remembering what I did and the loss I felt afterward still hurts and brings tears, but also a heart of thanksgiving for the healing he has given and the forgiveness…You, too…
I am praying for you also, dear one. What a reunion it will be 🙂
God bless you, Kimberly.
Hadassah Geraci
What a blessing your life has turned out to be. I too, carry the pain of miscarriages in my past. How wonderful the Lord is to still bless us with children as He knows our hearts have turned to Him. What a beautiful testimony your life has turned out to be. It seems that for both of us our latter days are much better than our former days. : ) Bless you!
Hadassah Geraci
Oops, I meant to say abortions not miscarriages.
Jacqueline
Dear Hadassah,
It still makes me weep when I am alone at how much our dear Lord loves us. He is willing to forgive even the vilest offender when we come to Him in faith and surrender! We are SO blessed to have a Savior! God bless you, and I am thankful you, too, are forgiven and living FREE in Jesus! (((HUGS)))
Heidi @ PintSizeFarm
Wow, what an amazing and moving post. Thanks for submitting it to the HomeAcre Blog Hop. Feel free to stop by again this week at http://www.PintSizeFarm.com or one of the other hosts and submit another 🙂
Haley
Thank you so much for opening up your heart and sharing your testimony with all of us. Although I have not had an abortion, I became pregnant when I was 17 and had a child with severe disabilities. As a very young single mother, it was a very difficult road. I married a wonderful man when my son was 13 months old and he has loved my son unconditionally from the beginning. We have been married for 9 years and have 3 boys, 1 child born into heaven and another on the way. It hasn’t always been an easy road, but God has always been good! Even though I do not know you, I felt love for you after reading your testimony. God bless you, my sister in Christ!
Jacqueline
Dear Haley,
Thank you sweet sis, for sharing your heart and a bit of your life and how Jesus worked all things for good. The way of Christ is never really easy, but it is worth it! I can truly say I love you, too, and one day we’ll all rejoice together in the presence of our Great King! Imagine the wedding feast!
Blessings 🙂
Sarah
Reading your testimony brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for having such courage and opening your heart to us – it was cherished! <3
Jacqueline
Thank you, dear one. May Jesus {only} be glorified! It was nothing I did! May He strengthen and encourage you in whatever you put your hands to as you live your life for Him!! ((Hugs!))
Beth
Thanks for sharing your incredibly brave story, Jacqueline! I was just talking with a woman this morning about some regrets of her past. I’m sure she will find your testimony encouraging! We serve a redemptive God who’s always working to bring about His best! So glad we can see that clearly in you and your life/family.
Katy
Thanks so much for sharing your heart. May i ask, at what age and how did you share the painful parts of your history with your children? My oldest is almost nine, and it breaks my heart when i think about telling him him about abortion, and that i had 2 of them as a teenager. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Jacqueline
Awww…Katy,
It is so hard to share about abortion, but if it is done in God’s timing, so very freeing and instructive. Our oldest was 12 and the twins were 10, almost 11. I need to write a post on this; the Lord used Frank Peretti’s book, Tilly, to open the door ever so gently. We listened to Tilly on book tape, and our youngest son, right as the story ended asked, “Mommy, have you ever had an abortion?” Oh, dear!! Ultimately, it is one of the best things I ever did, but I relied totally on the Lord to lead and give me the words (which were well, though sorrowfully, received by the children) to answer his innocent question. Today our young people highly value life and are not prone to judging others as they saw how the web of sin is used for evil by satan, but how the dear Lord in His gracious mercy, used it for good and for His glory when we repent and cried out to Him!
I am praying the Lord will lead and guide you as you seek to share this very painful story. Wait on His timing! May it be for His glory and in time be a huge redemptive blessing for your children (and you!)! ((Hugs!)) Jacqueline
Amy
What a wonderful testimony. It is a sad thing indeed that our basic culture has become so anti Christ. This negative culture is even in the Churches. Only by being touched by the Holy Spirit and having a personal relationship in Christ do we have any hope. Our country is in need of serious prayer and I hope that our culture changes to being closer to what God would want. I am glad you found God and realized about the value of life. I’m glad you realize the forgiveness of God and Blessings from God. I have known many ladies that couldn’t have babies after abortions. The medical field tells us that abortions are good for ladies. Our culture tells us that having babies is wrong and marriage is wrong. I pray that our culture becomes more Christ like so that many of the women and men will not have to suffer as much as they are now.
Dave
Joel 2:25 God restores the years the locust have eaten.
Stories of His restoration of lives are so inspiring and yours is just that. My wife and I went thru the GIFT 27 yrs ago, 1200 mile trips 4 times in one year + the shots + the emotional and she finally delivered at age 38. But not the trauma of the miscarriages you fought thru. Thank you for sharing this and so many other Word truths on your site. God is faithful in His way.
Jacqueline
Oh, Dave, THANK YOU for kind words! We serve a mighty God, high and lifted up! I thank the Lord for you and your wife being able to have a child, and I’m praying for your family now 🙂
Emily
God is so faithful! He delights to welcome His children back into His arms and give us good gifts. Thank you for sharing your story and encouraging many through your blog!
Jacqueline
Awww…thanks, Emily! When I get upset about something, I have to go back and remember how much I desired to be a mother. It puts it all into perspective, doesn’t it!?
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.” ~Ephesians 1:3
Grace and peace!
Laura - CaledonAcres
I read this with tears in my eyes! Sin is always around the corner and as careful as I could be, temptation won and abortion was the answer at 17… it was so painful emotionally, I wanted kids, but the time could not have been any more wrong – I was set to move to a new country, finish my education, and become “someone”. I think about that day every day and every month when I realize I am not pregnant. It’s been 2 years so far, and I try to tell myself “all in due time and when God knows I am ready for it”. It just hurts so much and I feel like time is going to run out on me… We can’t afford any procedures at the moment (our focus is on creating a good family foundation) and so all we have for now is faith.
Thank you for all your posts, I’ve learned so much!
Jacqueline
Aww…Laura,
Your pain-filled words make me want to gather you in my arms and tell you it will be OK (like you realize, in God’s timing). It hurts to have to learn these lessons and yet the consequences we pay are for our good. We must cling to that. I am lifting you up for strength, comfort, wisdom, and greater faith, dear one. xoxo
Laura - CaledonAcres
(((hugs))) thank you!
Stephanie Page
This story is valuable and important. Thank God for His mercy and grace. Thank you for sharing!
KellyE
Thank you for your honesty. All Christians have sinned but few have the courage to reveal their sin for fear of judgment from others. I love that you’re more concerned about giving glory to Christ than of how people will judge your choices. I’ll be sharing your post in the hope that others will be encouraged. And I’ll be praying that God will bless you richly with more and more wisdom to share and with great joy!
Jacqueline
Awww…thank you, Kelly, for your prayers to that end, and I am lifting you up right now, too! Thank you for encouraging me. For His namesake!
Vanessa
Your family is beautiful!
Jacqueline
Thank you, Vanessa! To God be the glory, friend!
Peter
I thought this was a very touching story and I’m so glad that you decided to share it with us. Thank God for His mercy!!!
Jacqueline
Thank you, Peter! It was hard to write, but our Savior is so gracious! He is our Helper and the scars can bring hIm glory! <3
Blessings to you and yours, J
Galen Reed
Amen, and thanks so much for your wonderful, redeeming testimony! God bless you and your children and grandchildren in the path ahead!
Jacqueline
Thank you so much for that blessing, Galen! All glory to God! I just had to be brought to a place of brokenness and looking back, He was so gentle! May the Lord bless you and your family, too!
Janet
Your blog has been such a teacher to me in the past year. I told someone that you have become my older sister… I am the oldest of 5 girls. This particular post rings with much truth for me, mainly that my joy has been stolen by the evil one because of the never ending series ”tragedies”, all stem from my sinful choices as a young adult. My adrenal health, mental health and who knows what else has suffered. I am on a recovery road but with still a recovery that I seem to have no control over. Thank you for this article of hope. Jesus is the great healer but there is much to say about obedience and consequences. Thank you, Janet
Jacqueline
Janet, sister, my heart understands what you are saying and I have felt that, too. I am praying for you, friend, and just know that the Lord has your very best at heart and will always, always lead you as you seek Him. Do not let the evil one steal your joy and your trust in Him. He will bless you and keep you! The blessings of being a child of God are yours, though they may not always appear at present that they are.
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” ~John 16:33
I am praying for you! Stand firm! ~J
Lynn
Olease delete your Pinterest account: The Inside Story of the Whistleblower Who Exposed Pinterest Bias
Posted by Stephen Beale on Wednesday Jul 10th, 2019 at 7:43 PM
Eric Cochran’s exclusive interview with the Register
As a software engineer at Pinterest, Eric Cochran’s job was to work on the social-media company’s Android app.
But Cochran’s workplace was filled with a lot more than pure tech talk. At “all-hands” meetings, Cochran heard company officials talk about the need to combat misinformation and conspiracy theories. Cochran agreed with many of the examples that were given.
Then he realized something more was afoot. “I realized they were spending a lot of effort on this; and I was like, ‘Okay, something’s not right,’” Cochran told the Register in an exclusive interview.
Cochran also became curious after reading a story about a Facebook whistleblower who revealed that the company had “de-boosted” the posts of a content creator. He wondered if Pinterest’s actions were consistent with its public policies.
That’s when he started poking around in the backend of Pinterest’s site and “realized how bad it was.” Cochran came across the company’s “Sensitive Terms List,” which included profanity and pornographic terms.
“But then hidden within there I would see terms like ‘Christian Easter’ and ‘Bible verses,’” Cochran said. “That’s where I was like, ‘This isn’t normal.’
He said another alarm bell went off when he saw a note on the company’s internal message board, on Slack. A Pinterest user had complained that Live Action, the online pro-life organization, was on the pornography block list. A Pinterest staffer suggested that it should probably remain there.
When Cochran checked, he noticed that two conservative sites were also on the list, PJ Media and Zero Hedge, which he found “quite surprising.”
“I was like, ‘The public needs to know this,’” Cochran said.
That’s when he went to the investigative news site Project Veritas, which reported on Pinterest’s suppression of Live Action in June. After the site’s initial report, Pinterest removed Live Action from the “block” list. But then Pinterest reversed course after the full report, according to Cochran. Not only did Live Action land back on the list, but its account was banned.
“It appears they doubled down on their stance after the full story came out,” Cochran said.
Cochran was an anonymous source for Project Veritas, but after the story came out, he arrived at work one day to find out that he had been locked out of all of his internal accounts at Pinterest. “That’s when I realized my work at Pinterest was probably over,” Cochran said.
In short order, he was approached by three security guards, who escorted him out after he handed in his badge and laptop.
Cochran, who describes himself as a Calvinist Christian, says he was motivated to expose Pinterest because he is committed to freedom of speech and because of his pro-life views. He is hoping that his story inspires other Big Tech insiders to speak out on how their companies may be suppressing speech on their platforms.
“What I really fear here is that the tech companies see the war for abortion rights right now coming,” he said. “They see that Roe v. Wade’s going to go away and they see the full fight coming to the states. And so they, in lockstep with the Big Media, are all in on cracking down on pro-life speech right now.”
Kim
Thank You so much for sharing your testimony. This has so encouraged me, so so much. I am an artist and I have drawn a a picture of Corrie Ten boom i would love to share a link to your website on my wordpress under Corrie’s picture.
Jacqueline
Hello, Kim! I am so thankful the Lord led you to it! He is so gentle and faithful to give us what we need at just the right time!
Is this the link you need? https://deeprootsathome.com/the-wisdom-of-corrie/
Feel free to add that under your art, and if you would, I would love to see your artwork. Please send me a link when you are done so I can!
Blessings, ~J
Annie abraham
Dear Jacqueline, thank you for sharing your story.
When I first stumbled on your blog, I wondered, because it is not usual to see a white American woman have so much awareness of the side-effects of vaccines and meds. After I read your story I understood.
I am an immigrant to the US from India. Though India is a hindu country, my family have been Christian since the 1st century. They converted when the apostle Thomas came to India and gave the gospel.
In India people practice Hinduism mostly. But one thing to say for them is, they live close to nature. We do not quickly take Allopathic drugs. We have other forms of medicine like Ayurveda, Homeopathy etc. My dad and brother both suffered from asthma in my childhood. But my dad went for homeo treatment. It was a long drawn treatment (about 3 years). But the issue was healed from the root. They never had asthmatic attacks their entire lives. My cousin on the other hand went with allopathic treatment for her asthma. She has to take shots even today and she has a host of other health issues such as thyroid imbalance and celiac disease.
How the Lord opened my eyes regarding incessant vaccination is a long story. I dont want to take your time with it. When I tell people about the dangers of mindless vaccination, they call me deluded. They say I have no facts. They ask me why are doctors not coming out and speaking about this, My husband pastors a church. So we personally know people (kids and even adults) whose lives were turned upside down right after they were injected with some vaccine, that they didnt really need.
I am not against vaccines. In my childhood in India, I was given the polio vaccine. Some kids who were not given the vaccine got the disease and were lame their whole lives. Medicine is there to help us. But today, medicine is not being practiced as it should be, to put it mildly. It is a money making racket. My heart cries out for the autistic and children I see with auto immune diseases. Who will help them?
So I am so grateful for your blog. It is voices like yours and mine that can atleast get some people to think about these things. May the Lord bless you mightily to help others. The Lord is redeeming the troubles/mistakes of your life and helping so many as you boldly speak the truth.
Jacqueline
Dear Annie! What kindness and encouragement you spoke to me in your words! Thank you for that, and I recieve your blessings! Do you have an avenue to help those who have autistic children? I would partner with you is there are families who are willing to detox to reverse the root cause. It is relatively inexpensive compared to lengthy (but effective) homeopathic detoxing.
Have you heard of TRS or read Avalyn’s Story? https://deeprootsathome.com/avalyns-story-how-trs-a-safe-heavy-metal-detox-can-help-you-and-your-child/
This will explain how TRS can help with things like Lymes, fibromyalgia, thyroid, regressive autism, mold, seizure disorder, bedwetting and stuttering in children and other autoimmune diseases from underlying toxins and metals: https://deeprootsathome.com/heavy-metals-need-to-go-they-are-food-for-viruses-bacteria-fungi/
TRS does not heal or cure anything, but it clears the body of toxins/metals and such so the body can heal and rebalance itself as God designed it to do!
If you have any interest in partnering in this, we can email. If I feel that TRS would be used wisely and consistently by someone (esp a child) with vaccine injury health issues, I would consider helping on a limited scale to bless a responsible family who loves the Lord Jesus, but needs help in this area….in the name of the Lord!
Grace and peace,
Jacqueline
Annie abraham
Jaqueline, I went to those links and yes this seems promising and without side-effects. Before I recommend it to other people, I am wondering if I should try it myself?
I have no allergies, I eat mostly healthy food and have not taken any prescription drugs for a long time now. So do you think taking TRS will make any difference?
Also my FB name is Annie Abraham. I have no profile pic. But my info says I work at Rutgers University. If you can send an invite, that will be good.
Annie abraham
Hi Laura, I just felt led to encourage you with a recent testimony from our church. This couple did not conceive for more than 15 years. And it seemed like there was no hope because she has only one fallopian tube and that was blocked too. BUT GOD. He did a creative miracle as they patiently waited on Him. You can hear their testimony at this link. Their testimony starts at 27:42 at this link:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5DJKVI4Xvw&feature=emb_logo
The Lord is good. He is the giver of good gifts. Even the waiting time was good because it caused them to seek Him and know Him and catch His heart.
Jacqueline
Annie, I’m watching this video! It is wonderful and filled with truth! Thank you for sharing it with Laura and with us all!
Blessings,
Jacqueline
Annie abraham
You are welcome 🙂 He made all things beautiful in His time.
Vicki Cannon
Jacqueline,
I am here to personally thank you for the most recent email regarding our SCOTUS nominee Amy Coney Barrett. What a breath of fresh air! I cannot tell you how much it meant to me to open this email and see a business owner taking a stand on Christian values, faith, as well as standing up for all Americans. From one business owner to another – thank you and God bless you!!!!
Sincerely,
Vicki
The Elite Doula & Co
Jane
Jacqueline I first read this when I was turning 50 and developed arthritis in my hands that has been painful and debilitating. I began making bone broth though I have to admit I got away from it. I’d like to get going again and invest in a large stockpot with built-in strainer. Do you recommend stainless or aluminum or something else?
More importantly, your testimony as a nurse has stayed with me all these years. You have an incredibly powerful story and I commend you for stepping up to the Lord’s nudging to share it. I too am a nurse and am forever grateful for a young brunette nursing professor at Ohio State University who boldly educated our large class of nursing students in 1985 that we are not required to assist with abortions if it goes against our faith values. I was so grateful because most of us at that age (including myself) were/are dead or at least lost in our trespasses as you so eloquently stated – trying to assimilate the Christian values we grew up with, in a world that seems increasingly influenced by our Lord’s adversary. I believe the statistics are that 850,000 babies are killed to abortion yearly in our country. It seems we’ve lost our soul as a nation if can support such normalized genocide. I have felt much confusion with the presidential election looming but re-reading your post has given me needed clarity. May He ever hold you and yours in the palm of His loving hands.
Benecia J Fowler
Thank you for sharing your story! I, too, had an abortion (age 15), but praise be to God, He blessed us with 11 birth children (our last born a few weeks before I turned 44; I am now 58). My trial was not with infertility, but with a very, very difficult marriage, but praise be to God, He gave me the strength to remain, and to love and forgive over and over again.
My beloved was lifted up to heaven in August 2019. It was through my journey with him through the valley of the shadow of death for 22 months (pancreatic cancer) that I discovered Dr. Ajay Goel and curcumin, boswellia, grapeseed extract, and intravenous vitamin C, the Angiogenesis Foundation (Eat to Beat Cancer), and Chris Wark (Chris Beat Cancer), etc. Dr. Daniel Laheru, national pancreatic cancer expert at Johns Hopkins, as well as his local KCMO oncologist, Dr. Beeki, gave my husband the thumbs up to curcumin and boswellia.
Abundant blessings!
Jacqueline
Oh, Benecia, I love that you persevered in your marriage and that you were able to be there for your husband and his last days! The Lord is so gracious, isn’t He!?!
I am reminded of Connie’s story. Have you read it? https://deeprootsathome.com/are-you-winning-by-a-gentle-and-quiet-spirit/
I would love to know if he came to the Lord through all that and your tender care? Thank you for sharing with us.
Have you written your story?
Grace and peace, dear one.
Jacqueline
BJD
Thank you thank you thank you! For being such a beacon of truth and light! I also have experienced the overwhelming grace of God. Yes, we should not shame but love these women that history may show them that even during their dark seasons in life, God still waits for them- Jesus waits with arms outstretched for them to come to them, ask and receive forgiveness and be showered with Grace and love. And their lives then after forever changed! Love these women and pray for them – even when their course in life at the time is centered on themselves and not Christ. They will one day remember that love and kindness.
Amanda Keller
Hello Jacquleine, I’m on the board of a pregnancy care center. We are looking for a speaker for our next banquet in May 2021. I was wondering if you accept speaking engagements?
Brenda
hi Jacquleine thank you for your testimony, would like to contact you for prayer, my husband and I also have been forgiven and serving our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
Katelyn
Hi, I just want to say thank you for making this site. I am 19 years old and desire to be married and have a husband one day if the Lord’s will permits it. I am constantly looking for traditional Christian role models to be inspired and influence by. I am fond of Elizabeth Elliot and Amy Carmichael, but I have been searching for more. God led me to you, and I am so grateful for that. It is wonderful to read stories and posts reflecting my own beliefs. All glory to God! Hallelujah!
Jacqueline
Dear Katelyn, Thank the Lord for your heart and hunger for more of Christ!
Thank you for your kind encouragement and words.
Let’s keep our eyes on Jesus and stand firm in these difficult days and pray for those who do not know His love. How I wish I had come to Christ earlier, but He knows better why he allowed what he did.
The longer I live, the more I understand the words of Matthew 11: 30: “For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
I can’t even imagine how horible it must be not to know the peace of the Lord in these times or to know that whatever happens, we win!
So we are the most blessed and we wait!
I am praying for you now.
Sending peace,
Jacque
Deborah
Thank you for sharing your story. Although I’ve not had an abortion or assisted, God chose to bless me and my husband with 4 legged furribabes. We tried the Clomid, and IVF, doctors said I was a regular Easter Bunny having done 2 egg retrievals and then 4 transfers. Sold our home, bought a bigger one in anticipation, used the excess cash to fund the treatment. Didn’t buy the insurance of “what if”, because who goes in thinking, what “if it doesnt work?” I was concerned with leftover embryos, didn’t want to give them away and didn’t want to destroy them. Well, God took care of that. We used them all and got nothing to show for our attempts. So he does answers prayers. Which is why i say, pray very specifically! House market dumped so I was left Ina huge house with no one to fill it. I call it my “under the Tuscan sun” house, based on the movie. My nephew got married here. My grand nephews and nieces (5 under 6), play here and visit often, and we are now godparents and guardians in the event of, to 3 of them. So God has filled my life with kids, just not ones I birthed. Thanks again for sharing your life in all its bumps & bruises and achievements.
Jacqueline
Deborah, what an amazing story! It sounds like the Lord has used it all for good, though, and that you have a heartful of joy and love that has come from it!
Look up Isaiah 54: 1-3… it fits perfectly!
“Sing, barren woman,
you who never bore a child;
burst into song, shout for joy,
you who were never in labor;
because more are the children of the desolate woman
than of her who has a husband,”
says the Lord.
2 “Enlarge the place of your tent,
stretch your tent curtains wide,
do not hold back;
lengthen your cords,
strengthen your stakes.
3 For you will spread out to the right and to the left…”
It was the scripture that kept me going through it all and I know then that I would be fine either way!
Sending peace,
Jacque
Sandy Weaver
Thank you for sharing your story. You certainly have a beautiful family.
Jacqueline
Thank you, Sandy! The Lord has sure been gracious in dealing with me!
God bless you,
Jacqueline
Stephanie Richardson
Posting a question here per the instructions from your Gab post.😊
My 9 1/2 month old has developed seasonal allergies. My husband has had them every year since he can remember (they have improved significantly since he’s been seeing a chiropractor for the last year). I didn’t realize babies can develop them! I am exclusively breastfeeding her (although I have introduced her to some steamed veggies and a couple of fruits) and she gets adjusted by the chiropractor once a month. Is there anything else I can do to help her? I have her on TRS spray (one spray per day) and I’m taking it as well because she is battling what I’m pretty sure is a vaginal yeast infection.
Thank you so very much for all the research you do and the wealth of wonderful info you put out!
Jacqueline
Hi, Stephanie, I will email you. ~Jacque
Andy
Hi Jacqueline,
I hope you’re doing well.
I enjoyed the insights you provided in the Back To Eden Film & How To Start A Sustainable Garden (https://deeprootsathome.com/back-to-eden-how-to-start-a-sustainable-garden/) post. Thank you for creating an insightful guide that we can easily follow to make use of our time.
I also would like to share our guide 10 Must-See Virtual Gardens In The UK (https://www.mastermanchester.co.uk/best-virtual-gardens-uk/) with you. It would give your community tips on visiting gardens from the comfort of their screen.
Will our guide be a good help to you?
Sue Beer
whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.
This passage from Mark kept me going after our twins were born 10 weeks early. A lot of ups and downs. They are now 46.
Jacqueline
Aw, Sue! Yes!! Our Savior is magnificent and mighty! He can carry us through anything!
Thank you for sharing that here as we pray for all mommas who are in difficult circumstances!
God bless you! ~J
Michele Moore
Hi Jackie,
Thanks for your efforts!
Just read your email – thought I would mention that I have 17 grandchildren! 😀 I live in Christchurch New Zealand and homeschooled my 4 kids here.
Cheers,
Michele
Jacqueline
Hi, Michelle, fyi, your email doesn’t show up here in comments, and I also I took our the private part so I could quickly respond to you here! 🙂
Yes, I have met J.S. Thank you for sharing that. I love that your family is doing the Lord’s work all around the world!
God bless you and thank you for your encouragement!
Jacqueline
Meg
Thank you for posting your story. I’ve been blessed in the reading. It is truly beautiful how God works in each of his children’s lives. I’m just beginning to explore your website, but I have a feeling I’ll be a repeat visitor. Thank you for your commitment to truth and to the sanctity of LIFE. ❤️❤️❤️
Jacqueline
Meg, I am thankful it has blessed you. Welcome to Deep Roots at Home, new friend!
Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family! God is SO good!
~Jacqueline