I share this important post by homeschool mom Michelle Caskey (with her permission) because we both want to encourage and inspire you as you homeschool, or consider homeschooling, your boys.
I just finished reading some eye-opening books by Dr. Leonard Sax: Why Gender Matters and Adrift. I was amazed to learn that boys have many physical and mental differences from girls. These books include scientific evidence showing that they not only behave differently than girls, they also hear differently, see differently, think differently, and respond to stress differently.
The things boys can learn are very similar, but the way they go about learning is very different. Boys require a very different educational environment and teaching approach if we are going to help them reach their full potential.
This explains why former generations had separate schools for boys and girls. They weren’t as backward as we have been taught.
Boys SEE Differently
Males have more rods in their eyes versus cones. Rods help us to see distance and speed. Females have more cones than rods. Cones help us to see color and shape. Because of this difference, males tend to draw verbs with little color variation in their pictures while girls tend to draw nouns with lots of different colors.
When asked to draw a picture, Sally will draw a house with people and flowers and lots of pretty colors. Steve will draw a tornado which is knocking down a house – and his picture will look like a large black swirl.
Implications for teaching
- Do not expect boys to draw something recognizable or to draw something with lots of colors. When we find fault in this way, they begin to think that art is for girls and not for them.
- Allow them to draw verbs and to do it in a way that is fast and furious.
- Don’t hold eye contact with a boy unless you’re disciplining him.
Boys HEAR Differently
Baby girls can hear ten times better than boys, and this difference gets even worse as they get older. Boys can only hear every 3rd word or so of soft-spoken teachers. When they can’t hear what their teacher is saying, they tend to drift off – getting some boys the incorrect diagnosis of ADHD.
Boys also tend to make little noises wiggling and tapping pencils which are irritating to girls – but they don’t even realize they are making them.
Implications for teaching
- Speak more loudly with your sons than you normally would and be very expressive.
- Use lots of voice fluctuation and hand motions to engage them.
- While working with your son, sit down next to him, spread the materials out and look at them shoulder to shoulder.
Boys THINK Differently
We don’t know all of the differences in how boys and girls think but we now know that their brains are arranged differently. We’ve all heard that we use the left side of our brain for verbal activities and the right side for art. Actually, we now know that this is only true in males.
Males who have a stroke on the left side of their brain lose 80% of their verbal ability. The verbal ability in females who have a stroke on the left side of their brain is much less impacted, proving that their verbal ability is spread across both sides of their brain.
There are many other differences in how male and female brains are arranged. For more details, check out Dr. Sax’s books.
Implications for teaching
- Book learning is essential; but, without practical, hands-on experience, boys will hard a hard time grasping concepts that seem simple to us. They will disengage from their lessons.
- Boys need real world experiences in their education which engage all of their senses. (But so do many women! I think of Wilbur Wright’s mother who taught him!)
- Boys also need plenty of time outdoors.
- Boys have a hard time processing their emotions. Don’t ask boys “How would you FEEL if…” questions. Ask them “What would you DO if…” questions.
- Boys like to have at least some control over their environments. Put each day’s schoolwork into a folder and let them decide the order in which they will complete it.
When studying literature, try these tips:
- Have boys draw maps based on clues in the book.
- Assign articles from the daily newspaper.
- Have them read books with strong male characters doing unpredictable things. Examples are My Side of the Mountain Trilogy, Where the Red Fern Grows, The Indian in the Cupboard, Treasure Island. Mark Twain, Ralph Moody, Jules Verne, and GA Henty write great adventure books for boys!
Boys SEE THEMSELVES differently
Girls tend to underestimate their own abilities. Boys tend to overestimate their own abilities. They also enjoy taking risks much more than do girls. The more a young man takes risks the more favorably they are seen by their peers.
Danger itself gives boys a pleasant feeling of exhilaration as opposed to the fearful feelings it causes in girls. Moderate stress also helps them to perform better as adrenaline causes more blood to flow to their brain. Stress has the opposite effect on girls.
Implications for teaching
- Boys respond well to a challenge if there are winners and losers.
- A competitive team format works better than individual competitions because they don’t want to let their teammates down.
- Participating in single-sex activities such as scouts or team sports are very good for your sons.
If your son seems to crave danger, take these necessary steps:
- Give them lessons with a professional (i.e., skiing) to help them to more accurately evaluate their own abilities.
- Supervise your child. Their risk is lower if they aren’t allowed to be alone with groups of peers because they will be less likely to try to “show off” for their friends if an adult is present.
- Assert your authority – don’t argue with your son. Don’t negotiate. Just do what you have to do (i.e., lock up their bike.)
Factors In His Environment
By the way, the optimum temperature for learning for boys is 69 degrees, while it is 74 degrees for girls. If you set the temperature so that it is comfortable for you, you may find your sons falls asleep or their minds wandering instead of focusing on their lessons.
If you have the opportunity to set up a single-sex learning environment for your children that works well. Try using different methods to teach your sons as opposed to the ones you use to teach your girls and you will be amazed at how your sons respond to your efforts!
Armed with this knowledge, we can set up more ideal learning environments where we can engage our sons and help them to reach their full potential. For more information, check out Dr. Sax’s books in the Parent Helps section of our bookstore.
Question: Were you aware of these differences? What changes have you adopted which have better helped your son to learn? Please comment below.
Hi, I’m Michelle. Being a mom to boys can be hard! Homeschooling boys can be even harder, but I’m here to tell you that having sons is a blessing – and it is possible to connect with them and to enjoy spending your days with them. My desire is that Homeschool-Your-Boys will be a place where parents can be inspired to teach their sons in an environment which will most engage their minds and their hearts.
Click on Michelle’s profile photo to go to Homeschool-Your-Boys! This insightful blog is a treasure trove!
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