Need a little encouragement? This letter is for you, dear Mama, and I’ve included a memorable, toe-tapping song by Sara Groves. The last lines hold the key.
A little encouragement to younger Mamas from an older Mom who’s been there:
Please remember that all of these days of pressing forward and making meals, doing laundry, wiping counters, chairs, noses, and buckling seat belts and doing those simple, yet oft-times forgotten, unseen, and repeated little things ARE making a beautiful difference for life.
There are SO MANY THINGS you must do over and over and over again like:
- reading that same book 5 times in a day
- separating little ones who fight with one another
- finding your kitchen low on food and needing to think about meals and buy groceries
- scrubbing out that dirty sink once again after filling the DW or doing dishes by hand
- teaching your young daughter or son how to do a chore properly for the tenth time
- giving baths and haircuts and clipping nails
- working with your toddler to clean up his toys …again
- asking the children not to slam the doors (and chasing the flies they let in)
- trying to get a moment alone in the bathroom without there being an accident
- going to the store and teaching your children how to respect others
- looking for a missing sock or shoe or hat or glove
- sitting down with your older children to check their work or grade it
- and especially, taking the time to cook food that is consumed in 20 minutes or less
- going to bed and getting up to do it all over
“My grandmother had a working song
Hummed it low all day long
Sing for the beauty that’s to be found
In setting up the pins for knocking em down” ~Sara Groves
Sometimes there seems no purpose in it, but God wants for us to learn to look for the beauty in it.
Is There Beauty Here?
I can remember repeatedly wiping up spit-up, mud, and sticky foods. I can relate to the weariness of being hung on, swung on, drooled on, having your earrings and hair grasped as if you are a handle so that you just want to be alone. Changing umpteen diapers a day, some that had leaked, with twins and a 2-year-old at age 43 after 6 surgeries about did me in.
I didn’t always see the beauty, and I needed lots of encouragement along the way!
I still remember the bone-weariness of having to discipline our children many times a day for disobedience when their daddy was at work, and it all fell to me. The Lord helped me and gave encouragement to be consistent as I asked for wisdom and grace; later at one point the children began to ‘get it’!
Eureka!
It took awhile but one by one they acknowledged it with something like, “Thank You, Mom- I needed that. Will you forgive me?” Finally, a measure of victory was achieved when one son ran to Dad to exclaim with joy, “We only had 3 spankings today!”
It was slow and painful work, but it paid off seeing our children gain some measure of self-control and governance.
These are sanctifying and growing days, and there are no shortcuts. But there can be beauty in growth!!
Mama, don’t feel pressured to be perfect. Give your best, but understand that your best will vary in different seasons of life. If your best – with a houseful of little people – is getting them into the tub at night, into jammies, and say a good night prayer of thankfulness with them, well, take a deep breath and accept it.
In another season, your best will look better. It’s a matter of perspective, and it’s going to be OK.
Allow this time to grow you in your resolve to do your best with God’s help and leave the rest up to Him! Ask Him for wisdom, encouragement, insight, strength, joy, gentleness, resiliency, grace, and a peaceful and submitted heart.
Do not be discouraged when the way does not seem clear and the work is piled up. Slow down, eliminate the unnecessary things like ironing and going so many places. Major in the majors and run from the things that distract us from the BEST use of our time.
Read aloud a lot.
“There’s absolutely no reason for being rushed along with the rush. Everybody should be free to go very slow.” ~Robert Frost
Lastly, we must reject comparison thinking which makes us envy others and become more and more dissatisfied as a Mom and as women. We fall into danger of expecting perfection of ourselves. We then transfer this dissatisfaction to our husbands and children. Pinterest isn’t necessarily ‘bad’, but when we compare ourselves, that is a very dangerous place to be.
And we just can’t afford that distraction for long.
Because our children are watching.
Those little eyes and little hearts are taking their cues from us. Soon they will no longer be playing house, and it will all be for real.
Through us, they will learn about joy in the Lord, living for something greater than ourselves, and serving others!
“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. “ ~Galatians 6: 9
Oh, it certainly is sobering to think about what we are teaching our children, but think on it we must. A committed resolve in the crunch time of raising our families is the only viable solution for the Christian Mother and homemaker.
So look for the beauty, Mom, and hang in there! I am praying for YOU.
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Thanks for reading!
Lora says
July 30, 2013 at 12:35 amLove the song! I certainly have felt that feeling of setting up pins just to knock them down. If I could just buy paper clothes for the family & use paper plates for a day, then I could have everything done for a whole day! Alas, that is not what the Lord has called me to. He has called me to a life that is full of mundane tasks that need to be repeated. Through that repetition He has taught & is still teaching me patience, joy, & gratitude.
He is also working on me on perfectionism. Just yesterday I was frustrated because I had taken some pictures that didn’t turn out as I has wished when my dear 20 year old daughter reminded me that it was difficult and I couldn’t expect to get it perfect every time. The words I had spoken to my daughters oh, so many times when they became frustrated that a project wasn’t working out perfectly came back to haunt me. She even topped it off with a great quote, and a potent reminder of the task before us.
“Example isn’t another way to teach, it is the only way to teach” Albert Einstein
Melinda Stanton (Auntie Em) says
July 30, 2013 at 9:10 amWOW, Jacqueline, what a beautiful post! Everything about it.. the song, the sweet words of encouragement. Thank you.
Toni says
July 30, 2013 at 9:41 amLove the analogy in the song – a good one, and yes, it’s a toe-tapper.
Have a great day. 🙂
Jamie (@va_grown) says
July 30, 2013 at 11:25 amLast Friday my blog post was “In Which I’m Just a Tired Momma in New Shoes.” Thank you for this post–it was what I needed to hear. 🙂
Cheryl Smith says
July 30, 2013 at 11:56 amI loved reading this post. You spoke straight to my weary heart today. “These are sanctifying and growing days, and there are no shortcuts”, really ministered to me. Yes, dear Lord, may I learn all You are trying to teach me in these days of uncertainty…when all that is happening is working for my good and drawing me closer to You, setting me more fully apart for You and all You are calling me to do, and enabling me to grow! Thank you so much for visiting my blog and for the kind encouragement you left behind! It meant so much! May God bless you, and may His peace continually be yours.
Jacqueline says
July 30, 2013 at 1:20 pmAww… thank you, Cheryl! May the Lord have His way in all of us and in every member of our families 🙂
Peace, joy, and grace to you, dear one 🙂
Love in Jesus,
Jacqueline
Cassidy says
July 30, 2013 at 12:06 pmThank you so very much for this post today. I needed to hear these words of encouragement more than words can express. +JMJ+
Jacqueline says
July 30, 2013 at 1:18 pmI am saying a prayer for you right now, Cassidy! Stand firm and fast in the Lord! He is a true anchor in any storm!
Annette Wolf says
July 31, 2013 at 5:41 amEncouraging and outstanding posts coming from your heart and “pen”, Jacqueline. Love this one!
Jacqueline says
July 31, 2013 at 9:35 amThank you, Annette. It is a long story, but I wrote it (the first draft you don’t see here) when I had been up to 4:30 the 2 previous nights…:( not a good idea for life, let alone writing. Well, I published it, and then re-read it the next day. To my horror, it didn’t make sense or ‘flow’ and was very repetitive, so I had to re-do it. I will never do that again!! Please pray for me that I will be able to sleep better, friend.
Annette Wolf says
August 8, 2013 at 5:41 amI am remembering this thought: The artist is often harder on them-self then others are.
I’ll be praying for that elusive sleep to settle in. <3
Gigi says
July 31, 2013 at 8:27 pmHow refreshing to know that we are not alone in this journey, and how encouraging to see women like you willing to live the “Titus 2” life and encourage those of us who are just getting started!!! I’ve been praying for God to place older women in my life, with Godly wisdom, to disciple me into being a God-centered wife and mother (unfortunately I do not have such examples in my family). I find your blog to be an answer to prayer 🙂 Rest assured that your work here is producing much fruit!!
Thank you!!!
Jacqueline says
July 31, 2013 at 10:32 pmGigi~
Thank You, sweet friend 🙂 To God be the glory!! He is our Rock! Keep holding on to Jesus.
“Take delight in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord;
trust in him and he will do this:
He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn…”
Psalm 37: 4-6
Hilary says
August 3, 2013 at 9:57 amThank you for this beautiful post. It really blessed me this morning, as we are transitioning from Kenyan life to American life. Thank you for helping me remember this time is short and my family is what really matters. Always a pleasure to read what you have to say. Blessings, Hilary from http://www.wholesomereads.com
Sarah says
August 5, 2013 at 6:48 amThis is a gorgeous post, filled with inspiration for everyone – not just mamas. Every day we all set up the pins ready to be knocked down again.
I would love you to link this post (and indeed any other inspiring posts) to my Inspire linkup. It happens each and every Monday.
Sarah @ A Cat-Like Curiosity
Kasey says
August 6, 2013 at 9:42 pmYou certainly know how to pick a girl up. The post and the song, which I had never heard before, we beautiful. This job is so hard but also so fleeting. Thank you for the encouragement to see it through. Love you, Jacqueline!!
ErinElizabeth says
August 23, 2013 at 12:20 pmI found your blog this morning from your Make Your Own Medicine linked on the From the Farm blog hop and I’ve spent the last hour poking around. I love what I see.
This post particularly and the song made me tear up (granted I am pregnant and unusually prone to tearing up lately but still). I’m not religious but I find the life I want to live particularly emphasizing nurturing my husband and family seems to find more encouragement in the Christian circles.
Finding the energy to keep “setting up the pins” is something I struggle with. I had a good example set for me growing up but I didn’t take it with me and I’m still trying to figure out how to stay on top of things and keep my house the haven I want it to be for all of us.
Thank you for taking the time to share such encouraging thoughts. I think I’ll give my son a big hug and go set up the pins for the day.
Regina says
October 2, 2014 at 10:40 pmI was so in need of this post. I really sometimes feel like I just don’t do enough but I do all I can. I homeschool, cook, clean and tend to my little ones but I feel its just not enough. Thanks for the encouragement, I need to get back to blogging & quit neglecting it, I miss it.
Dani Wagner says
March 3, 2016 at 2:54 pmBeautiful and encouraging.
Jacqueline says
March 9, 2016 at 9:45 pmThank you, Dani!
This song encouraged me so much I had to write about it!
Blessings, young friend!
Debbie W. says
March 16, 2016 at 7:17 amBeautiful blog for Moms. As a grandmom I’m enjoying these days with our two grandsons. Read Go Dog Go over and over, playing with blocks and building trains. It goes by so, so fast. We don’t get do overs and as they kids grow we want to go back and savor it a little more. Thanks for sharing.
Jacqueline says
March 16, 2016 at 10:54 amYou have a wonderful life, even thought you may get tired! It IS what we make it!
Oh, it makes me want to do it all over again 🙂 Thanks Debbie and God bless your days, friend!