5 Ways to Handle Mom Anger & Re-win Your Child’s Heart

Many moms who struggle with anger wonder if they can ever truly overcome and handle their anger Biblically. I can’t tell you how many women have come to me at conferences with tears in their eyes, saying, “I feel so guilty for getting so angry with my kids. I yell, I say things I regret, and then I feel like I’m a terrible example.” They wake up determined to do better, only to fall into the same pattern again.

[I share this important guest post by Kathie Morrissey of The Character Corner because we both want to encourage and inspire you as you raise your children.]

If that’s you, I want you to know this: there is hope! God understands your struggles and offers real strength and Biblical tools to help you grow. God can help you in your areas of weakness. He invites you to come to Him for strength. He gives you biblical tools to help you in your areas of weakness, so don’t believe the lie that you can never overcome it.

Understanding the Real Issue Behind Anger

Anger is a common problem that all of us feel at times. The anger itself isn’t a sin. It’s what you do with it, or how you react to your anger.

Anger Is Not the Emotion—It’s the Reaction

God’s Word tells us, “Be angry and sin not.”

In other words, it’s not being angry that is the problem. We sin because of what we do in the heat of anger, and the reactions we have to those emotions.

I want to talk to you about some tips that will help you, but first, let’s look at why it’s important to get your anger under control.

For more help with your anger, sign up by clicking HERE for this FREE ‘How to Respond To Your Anger’ PDF Download!

Anger Damages Relationships

Uncontrolled anger pushes your children away and closes their hearts to you. When you lose their heart, you lose your place of influence — your ability to guide, teach, and point them to the Lord.

Anger Breeds Bitterness

Repeated harshness and anger build resentment in kids. If they feel that you’re “always mad,” bitterness begins to take root. This damages the long-term connection.

Anger Steals the Peace and Joy in Your Home

As moms, we long for a calm, joyful home. When anger is a common thing, it destroys the peace, leaving everyone tense as well as discouraged. The children don’t enjoy being home when that tension is always felt, and it’s not pleasant to be there.

Five Tips to Overcome Anger Biblically

Don’t give in, thinking that you can never overcome the battle against your anger. Remember, with God, all things are possible!

1. Acknowledge the Struggle

The first step to change is admitting there is a problem. Admit to God that you are struggling, and ask Him to help you with this. God invites us to come to Him, and wants to help.

When we seek Him humbly, it opens the door to growth.

2. Always go back and apologize.

When you lose control and react in anger, as soon as you realize it, go to your child and make it right. Admit that the way you reacted was wrong, and ask them to forgive you. Kids are quick to forgive when we sincerely apologize and admit our wrong.

This teaches your children that you’re still growing and learning. It also encourages your children to keep trying in their areas of struggle, and it encourages them to work on their anger if they’ve picked up a little bit of that anger from you in your parenting and your relationship with them.

Always apologize so you can keep that relationship restored.

3. Identify Your Triggers

Sit down and think about the last few times you’ve gotten angry and see if there’s a common factor.

• Is it always when you’re putting the kids to bed—you’re tired, they’re being difficult, and you just want to get them to bed so you can crash?

• Is it because they’re disobedient and you get tired of the conflict, trying to get them to do what they’re supposed to do?

Figure out what triggers your anger because that’s very important. When you learn to recognize the type of situations that are likely to set you off, you can prepare to respond rather than react the next time it happens.

4. Have an Anger Plan

Decide ahead of time how you will respond in moments of frustration or when you are triggered.

For example:

• If it’s due to disobedience, pause and use it as a training moment.

• If fatigue is the cause, intentionally lower your voice and speak calmly.

• If a child responds wrong to you, calmly say, “Hey, let’s try that again.”

Having a plan in place helps you respond rather than react. Over time, this will become a habit for you, making your angry outbursts happen less frequently.

5. Practice Preventive Steps

You can reduce your triggers and manage them better by addressing them early:

• Work on obedience training so that conflict occurs less

• Get more rest if fatigue is fueling your angry reactions

• Ask the kids for extra cooperation when you’re tired

• Go outside for a few minutes to calm yourself down

Take preventative steps so that you don’t fall into the danger zone and start responding with that angry tone or angry outburst that you’re trying to avoid.

Overview of Overcoming Anger Tips

You aren’t alone in your struggle with anger, and you are not powerless. God sees your heart and your desire to change. When you go to Him and admit your need for His help, while intentionally practicing these steps, you can overcome anger Biblically. With His help, you can have a peaceful, calm home and be the calm, joy-filled mom you long to be.

For more help with your anger, sign up by clicking on the image below for this FREE How to Respond To Your Anger PDF Download!

Kathie has been married to Alan for 47 years, is mom to 8 children, and a homeschooling mom of 31 years. They also have 21 grandchildren. Though all her kids have graduated, she still stays busy running The Character Corner, traveling to conferences, speaking, and sharing encouragement on her blog.

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“And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.” ~Galatians 6:9

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