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By: Kristen Clark
It was Christmas morning when 6 year old Kelly was exposed to our raunch culture for the first time. She excitedly opened one of her presents and pulled out a small doll.
It wasn’t the type of doll you might imagine a little girl playing with though. No, this was a new kind of doll. This was a doll invented as a result of people in America embracing the most recent feminist ideas.
Little Kelly pulled her Bratz doll out of the box with wide eyes.
Dressed in a mini skirt, skimpy shirt, fishnet leggings, platform heels and dowsed in heavy makeup, Kelly wasn’t sure what it was.
“Do you like your pretty doll?” Her mom asked with a smile from the other side of the living room.
Kelly thought for a moment then held her doll up in the air and said, “Yes! I love her! She’s so pwitty.”
From that moment on little Kelly’s brain was being shaped by the American raunch culture that we live in today.
Playing with a doll that looked like it just walked out of a nightclub became the new norm for her.
Like Kelly, you are growing up in a country where sexualized dolls, images, movies, music and fashion are the new norm. You live in a time period that many refer to as a “porn-positive” or “sex-positive” culture.
If you’re under the age of 25, our raunch culture is totally normal for you.
You don’t know any different.
Opening up your iTunes library and seeing album covers featuring half naked female artists isn’t shocking to you. Walking into a makeup store and being bombarded by large posters of sexualized women is normal. Checking out at the grocery and seeing magazines titled, “Best Sex Ever,” and “Sexiest Summer Fashion” doesn’t even phase you.
Sadly, this normal everyday reality isn’t the way America has always been.
Not too long ago the majority of women actually valued themselves as more than a sexual object. They despised pornography and viewed their intimate body parts as private property. Little girls played with baby dolls and young women went on “soda dates” with real gentlemen and no strings attached.
Without even realizing it, you are living in a society that has totally and completely distorted female sexuality.
What is normal today is NOT what God had in mind for you.
Author Carolyn McCulley says, “We live in a culture of hyper aggressive female sexuality, which is arguably the worst ever in recorded history.”
I’m writing this blog for you because my heart breaks for the hundreds of Christian girls I see buying into the lies of our raunch culture. Chances are, you‘re probably buying into a few lies yourself. Read the following 4 lies and ask yourself which ones you’re believing:
1. A liberated girl is a raunchy girl.
Over the past few years the word raunchy has become synonymous with the word liberated. Girls are taught that being a “liberated female” means embracing your sexuality to its maximum use. It’s a live-life-to-the-fullest mentality without any limits. Whatever makes you feel sexy and hot is what you should do. Your body is your own, use it how you want. This is the first major lie of our raunch culture.
2. Having sex before marriage is empowering.
Teen girls used to be taught abstinence as a normal way of life prior to marriage. Now, sex before marriage is promoted as the normal and empowering thing for girls to do on all mainstream media. Instead of abstinence you’re taught “safe sex.” The new tagline for American teens is “have fun and be smart.” Purity is considered a thing of the past.
3. Raunch culture states there’s nothing wrong with pornography.
Like I mentioned earlier, women used to view the pornography industry as degrading. Now, some of the largest pornographic companies are operated by women. Mainstream society now teaches you that engaging in online sexual activities is normal and natural. That viewing the most intimate and private scenes of other people is even “educational.”
What God only intended for privacy between a husband and wife has been pushed onto the public stage and applauded.
4. Modesty is a sign of being ashamed of your body
The most common and noticeable way our raunch culture has affected girls is the way they dress. Instead of protecting and saving your most intimate parts for your husband, the fashion industry has taught you to “flaunt what you’ve got.” Wearing cut off shorts the size of underwear and skimpy see-through shirts is considered fashionable and sexy.
Oh – and if you dare to treasure your intimate parts by dressing modestly they might label you as being “ashamed and embarrassed” of your body.
Ridiculous lies.
God’s ideas for you are a thousand times better than our current raunch culture.
Our raunch culture has zero problem expressing their opinions of how you should view your body and your sexuality. America is turning its back on God and this is just one more way we’re expressing our rebellion against His design.
They’ve decided to worship the creature instead of the Creator.
As a Christian girl you need to recognize where our society has gone wrong and say NO to the lies it offers. You must look to God’s Word as your rock of truth and align every choice, every action and every thought according to His design.
You need to link arms with your sisters-in-Christ and stand strong together against this tidal wave of an enticing, but false version, of sexuality.
My greatest prayer is that you will find your value and worth in Christ and will come to view our raunch culture as oppressive and repulsive. A truly liberated girl is not a raunchy one, but one who knows her worth in God’s eyes and views her body as a handcrafted masterpiece designed by God for His glory.
- Which lies from above are you believing as a result of our raunch culture?
- Do your actions, thoughts and dress reflect more of our raunch culture or more of God’s purity and holiness?
- What are you doing today to fill your mind with God’s truth about your sexuality?
Since launching GirlDefined Ministries in 2014, Kristen and Bethany’s goal has always been the same – to help modern girls understand and live out God’s timeless truth for womanhood. Through blogs, videos, conferences, and online webinars, they are building an online “sisterhood” where girls and women can find the encouragement and answers they’re searching for.
Anonymous
I hadn’t heard it called this before, but yes! Raunch culture perfectly defines it. I have two teen daughters. I’ve had some incredibly uncomfortable discussions because they hear or see something in a *children’s* book or see something on TV, and we are very careful about the media they are allowed to consume. Fortunately, we have a great relationship with both, and even if uncomfortable, they know they can bring their questions to me and receive a clear, Biblical explanation. It breaks my heart each time, but I’d rather they hear it from me and receive TRUTH than from the world and receive lies.
Thank you for highlighting this Ministry of these lovely ladies. I will check out their resources.
Lily Steier
As a grandma of girls of all ages from 13 to 32 I can agree with the morality of this speach but why God has been inserted and presented as the reference? And why linking honest children behaviour with beeing Christian? I am a Jew and an atheist and I whant my daughters and grand children protected frpm the Raunch culture
Kathy
I presume she is bringing God and Christianity into this discussion
about morality because of her beliefs. She has the same freedom to
state her beliefs as we all do. I believe that she, like myself, are concerned for all people and the ill effects that a lack of knowledge of God has on all people. See Hosea 4:1-3,6. We need to be filled with knowledge of God and His will so that we can walk in a manner worthy of the LORD, bearing fruit. See Colossians 1:9-12.
We need to ask God to show us His ways, to lead us in His truth, and to teach us because He is the God of our salvation. See Psalms 25:4-5. Jonah 2:8 says “Those who regard vain idols forsake their faithfulness,…” When we place anyone or anything above God, that person or thing is our idol. We walk away from God’s mercy, protection, wisdom, and guidance. It is time for all people to turn toward God. If we do, He will turn toward us. See Jonah 3.
Jacqueline
Kathy,
I could not have articulated this better! Thank you for speaking for me as a woman, a mother, a Christian and as a woman who (before coming to the Lord) was well on the road to destroying my life in the similar “if it feels good, do it” culture of the late 60s and 70s and beyond. Sadly, I still live with the consequences of my actions (the full-blown ignoring of God’s protective commands) and will forever regret saying, “No’ to God.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6
Blessings to you and yours!
Jacqueline
Kathy
You’re welcome. I, too, made many wrong choices believing (wrongly) that God didn’t expect us to live the way He told people in the Bible to live bc this is a different time and culture. (Can you say justification?) However, He got my attention and, over the years, He has taught me and teaches me still about who He is and what He expects. Having raised a daughter, who is now raising her own daughter, I do my best to try to always point her toward Christ. What a blessing they both are to me including my husband and son-in-law! Blessings to you and yours!
Jayne
Totally agree with your comments! Has nothing to do with being Christian, has everything to do with being smart, having pride in yourself and setting a good example in the world.
Faith B.
Dear Lily,
I started out my parenting journey also very offended by anyone who mentioned God! I thought they needed to get rid of the crutch and think for themselves.When my oldest son (now 20) was about 6 years old, I started realizing how trashy and sexualized so much of our culture had become. I didn’t want him or his siblings to grow up thinking that uninhibited sexual expression was a good thing, especially when I heard about the alarmingly rapid increase of STDs among teens and even pre-teens. But sexuality and nudity were everywhere from billboards to magazine ads to television. How could I keep this immorality out of my home? I had, in fact, already removed television from our home due to the banal content. I hadn’t even realized how sexually-charged so much of it had become.
Every single one of my “open-minded” friends that I had would talk about their children’s future sex lives as if it were no big deal. One single mother told me, “When my sons reached their teens I couldn’t control them anymore. I just gave them a box of condoms and said, ‘Be careful.'”!! I was horrified.
Once at a friend’s house, I noticed The Ten Commandments posted on her wall. I thought to myself, “Why can’t there be a non-religious 10 Commandments?? One that doesn’t deal with all that God stuff. Then one day it hit me, there is no such thing as a “10 Commandments” without God. There just isn’t. There simply are no moral standards or laws to cling to once you reject God. Our society is returning to chaos because it has rejected Jesus Christ. (Western Europe was complete chaos until the arrival of Christianity, BTW.)
I finally let go of my pride, and overwhelmed by my fears of raising children in this “raunch culture,” I actually got down on my knees one day and said, “God, if you are up there, please help me raise my children.” Our family is now devout Traditional Catholic and we love our savior with all of our hearts. Everyday I ask God for his guidance, direction and protection for my children. (Incidentally, my mother was raised in an atheist Jewish home too.)
I appreciate Jacqueline’s blog so much, and I love seeing young women such as Kristen and Bethany who are bringing this positive message to other girls who might be afraid to go against the peer-pressure surrounding them.
Charlotte Moore
Heart breaking to see the things that are offered to children for toys these days. The young parents think it is ok unless they have a real GODLY experience of truth.
Jacqueline
I never thought of it that way, Charlotte, but that’s correct!
I would NEVER been a mother that thought very deeply about how I modeled things to our children until I came face to face with my own depravity and sin, and saw for myself the horrible consequences of following whatever was the new next thing or trendy cultural shift the world had to offer. When I had the bottom fall out of my life, I saw that I needed a ‘light’ for my way. (Proverbs 3: 5-6) That light was the truth Christ offered us in His word, and it breathed such LIFE into my soul and mind that I became proactive in raising our kids!
So thankful He didn’t let me blow that opportunity, too!
Warm hugs and love to you, sweet friend! Still praying for you and yours! May the Lord continue to work miracles and grace into our lives and all those we love! To God be the glory!
Mo
As the mother of two boys, how do we combat this? I don’t want my sons to think this is normal either nor to look for “raunch” in the girls that they like. However, it is literally everywhere. How to raise children in the way they should go when they are bombarded daily by depravity?
Jacqueline
Hi, Mo!
I replied earlier and when I tried to post it, I deleted the comment accidentally :0( I am sorry as it was rather detailed, but now i need to hit the bed…my back is out almost a week now. Anyway, I got great help from the Lord Hi self as I sought wisdom and insight. I know it sounds lame, but bc I asked, He gave and (though far from perfect), it all worked together for good.
We loved, laughed, taught the Word of God from a very young age and tried to live it well, but asked forgiveness when we failed. We danced and read great books and visited grandparents and modeled respect. We spanked when it was lying or stealing or was of a deeper character issue, and were firm and consistent to the best of our ability. We taught and lived with respect for each other, and at a very young age tried to communicate to them the deep worth of a human being and that their feeling mattered. The core of this was Philippians 2: 3-5 and Matthew 7: 12. We expected them to treat their sister with honor and kindness and they all became the best of friends. They naturally saw their pastor and a few other men respect their wives and daughters well. We had no TV or devices at all until they got non-internet phones at 15 or 16. They were seldom bored and found something to do on the farm if they were. We spent huge amounts of time outside.
We were more old-fashioned than most, and it didn’t bother us or them. We worked in several setting where the consequences of sin were very obvious and had really deep convos about lifestyle choices and a lack of relationship with Jesus Christ. We home-educated and surrounded ourselves with other like-minded families and though not perfect, we felt they had steadier peers and families that corrected their kids when something happened. We just prayed a LOT!
I hope that helps! Off to a hot tub and bed! God bless you, and He will as you seek His face! Develop in your boys a healthy fear of God, and let them know He is botha a God of love but also of justice. “Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight; everything is uncovered and exposed before the eyes of Him to whom we must give account.” ~Hebrews 4:13 We must live eternally minded!
Rebecca
You hit the nail on the head with this article, and while I believe there have been promiscuous girls aplenty since the beginning of time, I don’t believe it’s ever been as flaunted as it is now. I mean don’t wanna wear a bra, fine, shorts that leave half of your butt cheeks hanging out, “what’s the big deal?” I mean, I see my sons and my husband embarrassed even by the behavior. I also was not a perfect young woman but I knew enough to admit that the choices I was making were wrong and to repent of them. The girls I see show no remorse and it’s almost a rite of passage. It’s mind-blowing and sad.
MMMM
I’m Jewish and very much NOT an atheist. For whatever reason plenty of atheist Jews like to point out both in the same sentence, but I would like to remind readers here that these individuals have nothing to do with Judaism.
Traditional Judaism very much encourages abstaining from sex before marriage (both men and women), traditional modesty and decorum amongst the sexes. Marriage rates, and marriage satisfaction rates are significantly higher than those in general society. Divorces occur but are lower than general society as well.
Most atheists who advocate anything approaching traditional morality are simply beneficiaries of residual traditional morality found in their upbringing and/or cultural environment (America is not a totally secular society after all). There is no basis to believe in moral absolutes if you are an atheist, and those atheists that are callous enough to live according to this realization do so, and society is the worse off for it. There are countless atheists who have shaped our society for worse, working behind and in front of the camera in the media and entertainment industry, not to mention the feminists and leftist academics.
Jacqueline
Thank you, MMMM, for your thoughts. I agree with all of it, but especially resonate with “Most atheists who advocate anything approaching traditional morality are simply beneficiaries of residual traditional morality found in their upbringing and/or cultural environment.” Yes, we are living on past laurels and must take responsibility for either building up the foundations or tearing them down!
Blessings and grace to you today, my friend! We are watching Israel and the events there intently! J
Gina
I’m 54 and the same is true of my youth. Sadly I embraced all those lies and not my parents’ faoth. My mother didn’t teach me these things, but she was old school and didn’t teach me sexual purity. It’s important not just to protect our daughters from the world’s lies in this area, but ton teach God’s truths about sex as well.
Jacqueline
Gina, I agree. We need to actively teach and model to our children in love and affection. I had to ask the Lord every day for help and wisdom…nothing else helped as much! ~J