[Christian girls today need courage to stand for true beauty and not slip into some worldly, counterfeit version of it. I share this post by Kristen Clark at Girl Defined (with her permission) to embolden and inspire young women (and women of all ages) to do just that.]
When I was in high school Bethany and I decided we wanted to do a really cool photo shoot of ourselves.
We put on the most modern outfits we could find, layered on the jewelry, doubled the mascara and headed to a prime location – our roof. We recruited (begged) one of our younger sisters to be our photographer. We all climbed onto the roof of our house and she snapped away with the camera.
Yes, a roof is a random place to do a photo shoot, but we did it there to get that perfect “modelesque” breeze to blow our hair just right. For each picture, we posed exactly the way we had seen the professional models do it with their lips puckered, one eyebrow raised, hand on hip, and serious eyes.
Without being told how to pose seductively, we were pros and knew exactly what to do. We proudly posted our photoshoot to Facebook and waited for the compliments to come in.
Seductiveness is the new norm.
Sadly, we live in a culture that “trains” our minds to view seductiveness as the norm from a very young age. Just take a quick walk through the mall and you’ll see poster after poster featuring models striking a sexual pose. Since the invention of Pinterest, Instagram, and other apps sexualized images are in our faces more than ever before.
As Christian girls, we’re being bombarded by our culture’s message that seductive and sexual poses are cool, hip, and normal. Taking seductive selfies isn’t raunchy anymore…it’s acceptable and praised. Since we live in a fallen world it makes sense that our culture praises and encourages girls to act this way.
It makes sense that the supermodels and non-Christian girls don’t have a problem posting selfies like this.
The question I have for you is this: Why in the world are Christian girls posting seductive selfies??
I’m shocked sometimes when I get on my Instagram and see some of the sensual poses a few of my Christian friends are posting. What surprises me even more is the comments I read from other Christian friends who are complimenting these images and calling them “beautiful.” So what’s up with this? It seems like an epidemic over the past few years.
Why are Christian girls so fond of posting seductive selfies?
I know the answer to these questions because I used to be one of those girls. I used to be the girl behind the iPhone flip-phone (back in the day) snapping those seductive poses. I was the girl on the roof doing a photo shoot so I could show off the results to my friends.
For me, I posted those pictures because I wanted guys to notice me. I wanted people to compliment “how pretty I was.” I loved hearing the praise and affirmation from my friends. It was never an accident that I posted a picture of myself. It was always intentional and planned. I had seen enough images of fashion models to know what a “hot” picture was supposed to look like.
Many of you reading this blog know exactly what I’m talking about because you’ve done the same thing.
The truth is, posting seductive selfies is just an outward symptom of a much deeper issue.
It’s a sign of a girl who is longing for something more. It’s a sign of a girl who is trying to fill up her affirmation tank through the praises and compliments of her friends. A girl who craves attention from guys and hopes they’ll notice one of her pictures. A girl who wants to appear confident, but is weak and lonely on the inside. A girl who enjoys seducing guys by making them “want what they can’t have.”
Seductive selfies are nothing more than an image that screams, “Look at ME!” They’re an opportunity to point the spotlight on yourself for a brief moment and hope that someone will notice.
As Christian girls, God calls us to a much higher standard than to play the seductive selfie game.
The whole purpose of our lives is to point others to Christ, not to ourselves. These types of photos are never Christ-centered, but are always self-centered. God calls us to live morally pure lives in every way. Posting seductive pictures of yourself isn’t promoting purity or holiness within the body of Christ.
Since that day on the roof, God has convicted me about the motivation and condition of my heart. Tell me if you think seductive selfies are okay according to Ephesians 5:1,3: “Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints.”
What do you think?
First we’re called to be imitators (reflections) of God to the world around us. You and I are God’s children! We need to reflect the character and purity of our Father well. Second, we’re commanded to stay away from any form of sexual immorality and all impurity. did you catch that? “Any form…all impurity.”
Seductive selfies don’t stand a chance against these verses.
Our culture tells us that holiness and purity are lame, and that being too strict on yourself will lead to a life of boredom. If that’s the case, then why are so many girls lonely, sad, depressed, insecure and needy?
God gives us standards for purity and holiness because He knows it’s what’s best for us. True joy and contentment won’t come through the applause of your friends, it will only come through obeying and honoring God. “Blessed are those whose way is blameless, who walk in the law of the Lord! Blessed are those who keep His testimonies, who seek Him with their whole heart” (Psalm 119:1-2).
I know you want to be blessed by God. I sure do! Instead of striving after the empty applause of this world, strive for the fulfilling applause of your King.
You will never be happier than when you’re living your life for God’s glory.
As Christian girls we have a duty to honor our King in every area of our lives. We have a responsibility to bear the image of Christ to the lost world around us.
Will you join me in rejecting the trend of seductive selfies? Will you say no to posting self-glorifying pictures that put all of the attention on you?
Our world is in desperate need of Christian girls who are willing to stand up for God’s truth by displaying something far greater than themselves.
Let’s make it personal:
- Are you guilty of posting seductive selfies? If so, what is your motivation behind posting them?
- Are you willing to ask God’s forgiveness for not reflecting well on His image? If so, confess your sins and ask God to create a clean and pure heart inside of you.
- What ways are you tempted to put the attention on yourself instead of God?
For a follow up to this article, read another post by Kristen called: Christian Girls Retrained To See Seductiveness And Beauty As The Same Thing
You can find Bethany and Kristen over at Girl Defined.com. Check out their second book, Love Defined.
Disclaimer: The image used at the top of this blog is not what we would consider a “seductive selfie.” We chose not to publish a photo of a sensual/seductive girl for obvious reasons.
©2025 Deep Roots at Home • All Rights Reserved
cj
Thank you for all your Christ centered content .I sure apreciate it, as well as your comments and , of course recipes and homemaking ideas. God bless you all richly !!!
Jacqueline
Thank you, CJ! It is my pleasure to do it! J
Kimberly Rodriguez
As a young mother (about to be 27) with an almost 9 year old, still struggling in my own flesh to become a woman of God, I thank you for this! Guilty of the trend, I always felt like I had to post them to keep up with the other girls I’d follow. Since doing a cleansing on my instagram I’m less drawn sinful views. I’m in love with your whole blog! God bless you!
Marc Era
Wow this is a very encouraging message to me as a Nigerian Christian teen where this is very rampant most especially in our universities. I’m proud I have to say, we have people like these that are whites, most of the time we see whites as though they don’t know GOD and only know technology. Thanks ma’am. I’m really encouraged to keep looking modest 😇😇
Jacqueline
Marc, thank you for standing firm in your faith and all we know to be a solid witness for Jesus Christ!
“We have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God”, and it’s only with God’s help that we can live a life pleasing to Him! I am praying for the beautiful country of Nigeria now! many many more come to know Jesus, esp as the time draws nigh!
God bless you,
Jacqueline
Jo
I don’t have daughters, but I always said they might really not like me because my standards of dress would be higher than most. It’s really scary out there. My thought on posting pics is that ANYONE can see them or find them, including pedophiles and I wouldn’t want my girls to be the object of their lust or anyone else’s. We as women are called to help protect our brothers eyes and not be a stumbling block. Why should we want to show things that make lust an even harder thing for our Christian brothers? I don’t care how Godly a man is, he’s created to be stimulated by sight, but within his marriage. And women say, ‘well men shouldn’t look if they have a problem, they should grow up and control themselves’. Do you drink in front of an alcoholic and say, control yourself!? I don’t want my young teen men to have to deal with lustful thoughts, but puberty is a real thing! I’m trying to teach them about purity and guarding their sisters eyes. How can these people expect our young boys to control themselves when they’re still learning and don’t have the mental capacity yet to change their thought process when they see a half naked woman or a woman who’s shirt is too low or skirt too short? It’s not just in public, either. I see it in churches too. One place we don’t want to go and have to fight impure thoughts. Young ladies AND grown women who should know better.
Jacqueline
Jo, thank you for speaking truth! Today the biblical way that Jesus taught us to think and live is vilified. Jesus told us they hated hime and that if we were his disciples they would hate us, too.
I am no longer surprised by the hatred of wanting to do biblical good to and for others.
Keep the Son in your eyes! J
Woe to those who call evil good
and good evil,
who put darkness for light
and light for darkness,
who put bitter for sweet
and sweet for bitter!
Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes,
and shrewd in their own sight!
Woe to those who are heroes at drinking wine,
and valiant men in mixing strong drink,
who acquit the guilty for a bribe,
and deprive the innocent of his right! ~Is. 5: 20-23
Eliza Jeffrey
Hello,
I hope everything is good. I have gone through your website and felt to publish my articles on it. I think my writing skills will definitely fit your blog. I would like to know if you accept sponsored posts?
Could you kindly share the pricing and guidelines so that I can go further and send you a completed article?
Your kind words will be highly appreciated.
Kind Regards,
Eliza Jeffrey.
Jacqueline
Hi, Eliza!
I am sorry, but I have a pretty ‘set in concrete’ system of what I do and am happy with it at this time. Thank you for thinking of me, though. May the Lord bless your work as you seek Him! ~J
Natalie Mayo
Why is this being labeled “seductive?” Why? I’ve seen this article shared again and again by Christian leaders, and I’m so disappointed by it. Don’t get me wrong, I typically appreciate writings from this particular author, but this piece—even if it has been shared over 20,000 times—is causing real harm.
My fiancé, Cole, is a conservative, Christian, graphic designer. Considering his well-trained appreciation of art and beauty, along with strict, moral values, I was really interested in what his “guy” opinion would be. I showed him the cover photo and asked, “Does this come across as seductive?” His response was, “No, not at all.” He described it as being a contemplative expression, a serious, authentic candid. He pointed out that this has been an art form in the past—just look at Mona Lisa.
Cole thinks these types of photos have become a trend because our generation is tired of putting a fake-face on. We’re tired of plastering on a pretty smile and acting like everything’s okay when it’s not. We want to be real, but we’re not even sure if we’re allowed to be real. So, we post a raw photo of exactly how we’re feeling. And what’s the response? “Seductive!” “Can you believe she would post something like that?” “I’m so disappointed in her.” “She needs to pray through.”
Another example the article gave of a “seductive selfie” was hair blowing in the wind. Am I guilty? Absolutely, I’ve totally taken photos with my hair dancing around my face. Did I have intentions of getting some random guy to want to sleep with me? Um, absolutely not. Again, I asked Cole if he found girl’s hair blowing in the wind seductive, “No! That’s beautiful” was his immediate response.
So, why do we have to label it seductive? Why do we have to train young men to associate blowing hair and serious face expressions with craving promiscuity? We’re creating hypersensitivity. We’re creating issues where there should be no issues. We’re taking something that God created as purely beautiful and treating it like it’s filthy and lewd.
To caveat this, I’m familiar with the authors of this article and I‘d like to think their motive was good. They have a problem with girls who intentionally try to get guys to desire them in an unhealthy way, and I have a problem with that too. However, I see this article being used as an excuse to label and condemn, and I’m not okay with that.
Serious, authentic selfies are trending and, sadly, anything trending is automatically dubbed as evil by some Christians. As Cole told me, maybe instead of screaming “it’s trending, it must be seductive!” we should instead ask ourselves, “why is this trending?” Perhaps we would see a generation of young women who are weary of pretending to be something they’re not, who just want to be real. Maybe we should reach out to them. Love them. Show them we care. Or, we could never even speak to them and just declare we know their hearts… “Seductive selfies.”
#LetMeBeReal
#TakingBackBeauty
P.S. The original article has a disclaimer that the selfie pictured there isn’t what they’d consider seductive. Cool. However, I’m quite confident that the people I know sharing it actually *do* consider it seductive, as well as the selfie pictured here.
Jacqueline
Hi, Natalie!
If you can find me an appropriate truly seductive photo that I would be even mildly interesting to put a the top of this post, I will consider it! I, however, could not! I think you totally missed the point – I don’t want a truly seductive photo on my blog!
THank you for your honest comment!
Just so you know, I also had trouble finding a photo for this post, but was able to rather easily! https://deeprootsathome.com/raunch-culture-shapes-women/
Blessings!
Jacqueline
Jacqueline
Natalie Mayo
I really appreciate that the original author put a disclaimer that she did not consider the photo used with her article as seductive. I hope you have the same feelings about the photo here, but I’m afraid that most readers perceive it as being the example spoken against.
I grew up in extremely strict, conservative circles and even though most Christians would consider me as very modest to this day, I’m still labeled as all sorts of things by the elders I once deeply respected and admired. I continually have to watch other friends go through the same treatment, as well.
For example, a minister once found out I had makeup on (I was in my 20’s) and even though it was very light—hardly noticeable—and I didn’t attend his church, I’ll never forget how degradingly I was made fun of for trying to “seduce the boys.” That was the farthest thing from my intent, but for an hour I sat through something very close to taunting, even my voice was mimicked saying things I’d never say (but supposedly thought.) Again and again I heard, “I know what you want, you just want the boys to think you’re pretty!” As if it was obvious that’s not the case.
Sufficient to say, this kind of condescending treatment only causes girls to feel guilty and belittled when they’ve done nothing wrong. It causes boys to associate promiscuity with pure and innocent beauty.
While I would definitely like to give you and the author the benefit of the doubt, I’m definitely seeing this article shared and used by others in a way that reinforces hypersensitivity, labeling and condescension.
Thanks so much for letting me share another perspective! I hope our views are able to work together to promote a healthy balance. May we glorify God in our personal attitudes and actions, as well as in how we treat others!
Jacqueline
I am so sorry to hear that you feel the guest post is being used to cause harm, Natalie. I am praying now that whoever may be doing that, will be introspective (see their own sin) and extend grace! We are all sinners. The last thing we need is judgement, but rather love with the appropriate guardrails that Bethany and Kristen express in this post! When we have Christ, we don’t need outside affirmation so much… and in time…by my age, (hopefully, we are growing closer to Jesus), we really only live for that audience of One!
Christ extended such mercy and grace to the Samaritan woman at the well and the woman who was brought by the Pharisees and accused of prostitution in the town square. The latter woman was the one who brought the alabaster jar of precious perfume to anoint the Messiah for his coming death. Oh, the forgiveness He extended to them and the gentle command to “go and sin no more’. I often cry with joyful tears that I was brought close, because I was that wild woman until I was 31. He wooed me and never let me go! https://deeprootsathome.com/now-i-value-life/
Thank you!
God bless you!
Jacqueline
Adam
Looks like you’re letting your personal experience with one or more people , form your judgements. I truly modest woman goes out of her way to not cause others to be tempted. Women are given Sarah as an example. She called Abraham lord and her conduct was meek and coupled with fear according to The Word of God. I would pray about it. It seems pride and “self” comes into play . How about the fact that we are discussing whether or not “selfies” are good or bad. The word “self” is in the title.
Deborah
I reposted this on Facebook, and they took it down. They say “it goes against the new norms”
Censorship of free speech!!
Jacqueline
Deborah, that is amazing! Haha, so they can have free speech, but our free speech is stepped on!
What a double standard!