From the time I awoke that morning, I knew my focus was off.
The ‘Liar’s Committee’ in my head was reminding me of past hurts, little perceived snubs, the mundane routine, fewer dates, that particular warmth that was missing, and it overwhelmed anything good that was out there.
I had doubts about my salvation (how could I really feel these things if I loved Jesus?), doubts about my marriage relationship, doubts about my parenting, missing my mother…doubts, doubts, doubts.
The last 2 years had been by far the most difficult we’d ever experienced. In the demands of my husband and son constantly driving 3 hours back and forth to care for Papa, difficult extended-family tensions, illness, the constant work, the undone work, the lack of quality time, I began to pay more attention, to what wasn’t happening right with my husband rather than what was happening right.
“If I’m ruthlessly honest, I may have said yes to God, yes to Christianity, but really, I have lived the no. Infected with that Eden mouthful, the retina of my soul develops macular holes of blackness.” ~Ann Voskamp
More of my husband’s time was spent with others than with me. Out of necessity —but I couldn’t see that! We had less time to process what was happening and just talk. Problems backed up.
I heard the wrong tone behind words and tucked away the hurt. ‘Triggers’ from my youth.
Not enough time together alone to deal with unforgiveness that had built up —or for prayer. Silence in the bedroom.
You see, I’m prone to this melancholy, negative way when things get hard, and I could feel myself lock my heart away and let bitter roots pull me down.
It was also clear that the current path wasn’t working. I needed to let it go – yet I found it selfishly satisfying to let each negative thought whoosh me higher and higher into martyrdom or self-righteousness.
I knew I had allowed myself to slip into a deep chasm, and I wanted out, but where to begin. I needed a catalyst like a chemist. I want to live my one life well, fully alive to the deep goodness of God and of life!
Inklings Of Giving the Best Gift
Then the thought came to me repeatedly over several weeks: If Satan attacks the children of God, and I believe he does, it is to steal, kill, and destroy what is ours, to blind us to lies, and make us lose our hope.
The thought jarred my consciousness – I don’t want to let the evil one win!
I don’t want to let the evil one win! No!
A strong woman will fight the enemy; I don’t just want to fold up and let him devour me and us. I must take my eyes off myself and circumstances and put them on Christ and the gift of the husband He has given me!
Elisabeth Elliot says it is a choice to live full of grace:
“The will of God is not something you add to your life. It’s a course you choose. You either line yourself up with the Son of God…or you capitulate to the principle which governs the rest of the world.” ~Elisabeth Elliot
I was in the Word of God most days, but I wasn’t taking the action of doing what is says!
“Finally, …sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.” ~Phil. 4:8
“Be doers of the word, and not hearers only. Otherwise. you are deceiving yourselves.” ~James 1:22
A New Adventure – The Best Gift
I had journaled things before, why not look for and focus upon the good things I knew were in my husband, the beautiful things – like a treasure hunt, knowing that if you look with eyes to see, you will find them.
Away with the lies! Seek and you will find!
So as Ann Voskamp of 1000 Gifts calls it, I began a ‘gratitude journal’ for my husband, and I am daring to live fully right where I am. It will be his anniversary present next this year. I entitled it ‘Eyes To See’.
It is the best gift I can think of.
For the whole year ahead, I have set my mind to actively look for and jot down the good, the better, and the best of his life – day by day – and it can’t help but impact our lives – a trickle down effect, even to our children.
There is something about writing it on paper.
Here are several ‘best gift’ entries:
December 14, 2014: I see a man who works hard to care for his family, the overwhelming needs of his father, our friends and neighbors…he worked outside in the cold – without complaining – to get ready for winter. We thought Papa was dying when the weather was warmer.
December 28, 2014: Our 41st anniversary was not forgotten in the busyness of this season! He made us reservations at the Istanbul Cafe for a delicious dinner of ground lamb in cabbage leaves filled with savory spices and a side of grilled to perfection veggies. He knows what I love.
January 4, 2015: Called to pick up groceries for me and let me know he was on his way back From Papa’s.
Finding what I wanted to write down for each day has become a kind of game for me. I am better able to look at my husband in a new way, to have compassion on him in this difficult time, and let the playful girl in me come out… This is really a treasure hunt with my husband containing the hidden treasure. What man wouldn’t cherish and be lit up by a woman who looks at him like she used to?
Take Up the Challenge with Me
I invite you to join me in making a ‘gratitude journal’ for your husband’s Christmas or anniversary gift (and your shopping is done!) starting just as soon as you can – today preferably (write it down and transfer it later). There is no time like the present to start giving the best gift(s). Thankfulness. Respect. Joy. Don’t let the ‘Liar’s Committee’ cheat you out of abundant life! ~Jacqueline
Look at the color of his eyes, notice the strength in his arms, stroke the warmth of his cheeks as he wakes up in the morning all sleepy. Look for something he does well, then jot it down. Begin creating his BEST GIFT.
It doesn’t have to be lengthy, but remember he will read it one day. Keep your journal close by, pray, and watch expectantly for something good even if your marriage is seriously in trouble.
Coax out the protector in your husband using all the God-given feminine gifts you possess.
That man’s tone of voice may soften, the time of his lingering with you may increase. Little things might not matter so much even though the world feels so cruel.
It is the Best Gift I can give my husband, and I can’t wait to see my husband open the box in one year, God-willing. It will be a good year, and it will be recorded in my little book!
“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” ~Matthew 7: 12
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Resources
- The MacArthur Study Bible, NKJV: Revised & Updated Edition, Hardcover
- A Severe Mercy, by Sheldon Vanauken
- The Hiding Place, by Corrie ten Boom
- One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are, by Ann Voskamp
- Lord, Change My Attitude: Before It’s Too Late, by J. MacDonald
- Evidence Not Seen: A Woman’s Miraculous Faith in the Jungles of World War II, by Darlene Deibler Rose
- Radical: Taking Back Your Faith from the American Dream, by David Platt
- Don’t Waste Your Life, by John Piper
- The Quest for Meekness and Quietness of Spirit, by Matthew Henry
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SharonQ
I’m going to do it this year, starting now! What a great idea and what I blessing it will be to him (and me)!
Cheryl Smith
Dear, sweet Jacqueline! This is such a wonderful idea! His face and eyes will light up when he sees this, and I know it is a gift that he will cherish close to his heart for years to come, Lord willing. I believe compassion/pity is such a huge component of love. If we always look at our husbands through eyes of gratitude and with our hearts going out to them and all they go through, we will always feel that initial tenderness towards them. Living life this way truly makes it all worthwhile. Much love to you and happy new year!!
jan
I’m in. I could have written this post. Thank you for clarifying my thoughts and exposing my heart.
Karen F.
I am so in! This past summer, a dear friend and her husband were on vacation when her husband suddenly took ill and past away. So very sad, and such a reminder that every moment is a precious gift-I don’t want to take anything for granted.
Susanne
Wow. I really needed this. I too have allowed myself to look at negatives, focus on what’s not happening, let bitterness grow and turned inward and away from conversation and time with my husband. I’ve gotten to the point that I really don’t feel like I even know how to have a good conversation with him anymore. Yet he is a wonderful man, faithful husband, wonderful father, good provider and exceptional and taking care of a myriad of details. I have a hard time committing to writing in a journal daily because I have failed so many times in the past, but I really think I need to do this. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing. I find your blog to be a blessing and encouragement!
Elena
What a great idea, thanks!
Angela
What a great idea! I will definitely do this. Thank you for sharing.
Jennifer
What a wonderful idea! “I’m prone to this melancholy, negative way when things get hard, and I could feel myself lock my heart away and let bitter roots pull me down.” Yes, ma’am. Count me in.
AmyJ
You have no idea how much I needed this. Thank you!
Jacqueline
AmyJ,
I trust the Lord will give you all you need to do it, and we can call on Him when the going gets hard for power and strength to have what it takes…. We all need to do God’s will in this, for our marriages and for our children and for our children’s children! God bless you mightily, dear one!
Jessica DeLong
This is such a wonderful idea!!! I had recently wondered what I could do to strengthen my thought life and bring honor to my husband. I am in!
Jacqueline
I am so thankful you will be doing the challenge along with me (and us)! Philippians 4: 8
I think it was Augustine that said…”give me the grace [O Lord] to do as you command, and command me to do what you will!” When we obey inline with His will, He enables us to do it!
God bless you, Jessica 🙂
Sue
I am doing this. Thank you so much.
Jacqueline
Thank you, Sue! So glad, and I am praying 🙂
Jacqueline
Yay! Thank you, Sue. You won’t regret it! 🙂
God bless you.
Tasha L.
Thank you for sharing this. I am going to do it. I think it is just what I need right now!
Jacqueline
You are welcome, Tasha 🙂 I am so thankful you will be doing this challenge! Yay!
Odie Beth Altman
This is such a beautiful idea… If I were married, I would so do this! But since I’m not married, I’ve passed the idea on to my daughter and daughters-in-love. I think I’ll do one for each of my children 🙂
Thank you so much!
Jacqueline
Oh, Odie Beth,
That is awesome! They will love it and won’t they be surprised 🙂
Warm hugs to you, friend!
Erica Ricky Kennedy
The hard part will be waiting a year to give it to him…
Jacqueline
Yay! I am so thankful you will be doing the challenge!
Thanks for letting me know 🙂
lyss
Wow! That is such a beautiful idea! I need to do this! I have a lot on my plate right now, but I am going to do this. Even weekly entries, though daily would be better. Thank you for such a great idea to cultivate honoring thoughts toward our husbands.
By the way, you are absolutely beautiful. I know I shouldn’t be envious, because God made us all different, but I’ll just say that I long for clear skin! I feel like I’ve tried everything natural there is to try, and am tempted to go back to chemical junk to see if it would help. There is one more thing I’m going to try, and that is higher amounts of cod liver oil. We shall see… Sorry for going off subject. I just am in awe at your lovely photos! : )
Jacqueline
Dear Lyss,
I am touched and simply say thank you. maybe it is my American Indian (oops! native American) blood. I recommend fermented cod liver oil for taking inside. Even though it takes like yuk (chase it with lemon water), it is extremely healing and wonderful, wonderful for skin issues of all types. Here is what I use and what helped heal our sons eczema and leaky gut issues: http://amzn.to/1F6Unac
Also I use virgin coconut oil on my face at night and use it in LOTS of our cooking (sautes, oatmeal, spread on hot toast, in quick breads, etc.. Sometimes we eat it right off the spoon and chase it with lemon water. It is a powerful medicine at 3 TBSP/day (which is a healing dosage). https://deeprootsathome.com/coconut-oil-for-yeast-infections-alzheimers-more-tropical-traditions-sale/
Please don’t let Satan mess with you on comparison things. You are a precious and beautiful daughter of the KING! Hugs!
lyss
Thank you for your sweet encouragement. Just this week I am starting to take cod liver oil again. I have done it in the past without visible results, but maybe I’ll up the dose and see.
I love coconut oil and typically eat around a T. every day. Maybe I need to up that, too. I have tried it in the past on my face, but my face stayed dry. Perhaps it’s worth another try.
My problems are severe acne and redness coupled with dry/flaky skin. So weird. More typical is acne with oily skin, which is how my skin was in my teens. Now at age 30 after having 2 kids, my skin is much worse, but dry.
I’m wondering if I need to do something more “drastic” like the GAPS diet. I have gone off gluten/grains/sugar, etc. with no difference. I hesitate because my mom has been on the GAPS diet for I think 2 years and it hasn’t helped her(not skin issues, though).
I just wish I could find answers. I know it’s “just skin”, but it’s hard when it’s embarrassing. I’m not a big makeup person, and didn’t use to wear any at all. Now I do, but it’s really hard to cover flaky/peeling skin. Anyways, thank you for “listening”. : )
Jacqueline
Aww, dear Lyss,
It has come back to my mind several times after reading your comments to encourage you to try the GAPS for 6-8 weeks or more. I will be doing it to try and overcome my dairy allergy. I am praying for you, dear one, and that you will be encouraged in the Lord Jesus! <3
lyss
Aww, thank you to both of you! The more I read I am becoming convinced that I probably need some gut healing. I used to brush it off because I have no digestive problems. But apparently there IS a problem because my skin is showing it. I am going to read more about GAPS. I think the most intimidating part is offending others if I can’t eat what I’m served. But surely people will understand if I tell them I’m on a short term healing diet.
Thank you so much for your encouragement and prayers! : )
Gail
Hi Lyss, Just wanted to let you know that I’ll pray for healing for your skin to recover and become clear.
Blessings Gail.
Jacqueline
Dear Gail,
You are a gem 🙂 I love having such encouraging friends in the Lord here! <3
Tamara
Thank-you for your vulnerability. I often wake up with the same mind battle, and it is so tempting to be discouraged, give into despair, mostly for me it is in regards to my parenting and feeling like a failure. I didn’t think of it in terms of a spiritual attack! I’m not sure I’d be able to do this challenge formally, but, I love the idea.
Jacqueline
Tamara, I’ll be so bold as to pray (right now) that you WILL do it and that it will be a freeing exercise in Joy and Gratitude. There is a prayer in Colossians 1:11 that we will be “strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience…” and I pray that for you (and all of us)!
May God bless you.
Annette Wolf
Love this idea, Jackie! Thanks for sharing it!
Jacqueline
I am so thankful you will be doing the challenge, Annette! I’m overdue, but it is already bearing fruit 🙂
Blessings!
Deedy
Thankyou for the challenge. Oh how alike we sisters-in-the-Lord are. We struggle, we fall, He picks us up. Hoping to be an encourager this year, and write it as I go, Blessings, Jackie….
Jacqueline
Deedy,
I am so thankful you will be doing the challenge! Yep, we are a fallen bunch, but God is so good to cover us in Jesus’ blood and righteousness when we come to Him in faith and bow the knee. How freeing it is 🙂
I’ll be praying that we can all finish strong !!
shelley pulver
yes, this sounds like a wondeful idea. we are retired and have given lot of our time and attention to our aging parents. wr have lost 3 of our parents in 3 years. it is not easy to get back to giving each other that loving attention we once did. thank you for this idea !
Jacqueline
Shelley,
I am so thankful you will be doing the challenge!
I am sad you have lost your parents, though. My heart goes out to you both. I can relate and know it is the Lord’s will be take back the years the locusts have eaten! May the Lord strengthen you as you are faithful.
I love that when we love the Lord and obey his commands that He will be there for us and show us the way:
“Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me. The one who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love them and show myself to them.” John 14: 21
I am praying for you, friend.
Angie Trimmer
Thank you! This is a wonderful idea and I’m going to modify it a bit and give it for our 25th anniversary this year. Blessings!
Jacqueline
I am so thankful you will be doing the challenge, Angie 🙂 It will bless you, I know, as it has already brought a lot of joy to me to see my heart follow and respond to taking action. Blessings, sister!
Katie
This will be hard – but I know I need to do this! I can not promise that it will be every day, but I am going to try for at least 3 times a week.
Jacqueline
Praise God, Katie,
I am so thankful you will be doing the challenge.
I am praying for you now and will continue to lift this up! Please pray for me, too 🙂 The lord knows our need and will supply, dear one!
Cathy
My dear friend, sister, and virtual mentor~ This is sent to me from my loving heavenly Father, and He is never late! So well-appointed for my place in the journey of wifery. I thank and bless the Lord for His perfections, and for using your circumstances to help others. We are truly sheep in need of a Shepherd! My situation is so like yours right now, so I am especially grateful for the testimony, the example of choosing to walk in God’s ways, and for the journal idea. I begin today! Love to you, dear!
Jacqueline
Oh, Yay!
Cathy, I am so thankful for His providence in all things…let’s meet for lunch really soon and we can encourage each other! ‘Tis true that he is NEVER late…but seldom early 😉
Call me soon!
Mia B.
What a beautiful and sincere heartfelt gift this will be, thank you for the idea Jacqueline 🙂 Being a young mother with little ones and my sweet husband working long hours most days, I’m constantly trying to find lasting ways of encouraging him and letting him know how much he is loved. I have a feeling this will do just that 🙂 Thank you for sharing this sweet idea, I’m sure he will treasure it for many years to come!
Jacqueline
I pray it will do just that! Thank you for loving your man so well, dear Mama 🙂
May God richly bless your and yours in 2015!
JES
This made me cry ( I am getting soft in my “old age”!!!)… I am going to do this too. Thank you for opening our hearts to our husbands.
Jacqueline
I am so thankful you will be doing the challenge along with me (and us), JES! Thank you for being such a loving wife, mother, and friend. Oh,how I wish we were not so far away from each other. I get teary eyes so often of late and would love to have those quiet visits that like-minded friends can have. I pray for you so often.
Tanya
Yes, I’m joining in! 🙂
Stephanie
I’ve had a morning of negative thoughts and I so needed to read this right now. Actually, I should bookmark this post and read it often. Thanks for all your encouragement to us. I’m going to make this the year to record my #1000gifts 🙂 Blessings to you!
Jacqueline
Dear Stephanie,
So glad to hear you’ll be taking action! Yes, and I need to re-read it everyday, too. Don’t feel alone for you are in a ocean of company with this problem. I am praying for you now, dear one.
Pamela Leding
Wonderful advice and insight!! Thank you for sharing, Jacque!!! <3
Toni
Oh wow, Jacqueline, what a powerful gift the journal will be! The devil will surely rob us of everything we don’t give over to the Lord, and I like how you kicked that robber out by keeping the journal. That’s a such wonderful idea – thank you for sharing it. 🙂 I need to pick up a journal!
I’ve been doing great; I just haven’t had much to blog about recently. It seems like I’m just repeating myself as I either do a lot of the same thing week after week or am too busy to coordinate a coherent post. Right now we are dog-sitting for our youngest who is skipping over the country on vacation with her husband. It’s their first real vacation in ten years of marriage so I’m glad to oblige, just busier again. Thank you for stopping by. I always appreciate your visits. 🙂
Hope you have a wonderful week!
Jacqueline
THANK you for stopping by, Toni! I am relieved that you are OK 🙂 what fun it must be to help out your children in their time of needing some relaxation. You are such a wonderful Mama beside being an excellent wife to Goodman! I hope you can join the challenge and make our marriage sweeter still 🙂
Blessings!
Toni
Hi again, I forgot to leave the link for the blue lidded Fido jars. This is a set, but they have them individually, too.
http://www.amazon.com/Bormioli-Rocco-Fido-3-Piece-Blue/dp/B00LWCBOO6/ref=sr_1_7?ie=UTF8&qid=1420485067&sr=8-7&keywords=fido+jar+blue
I just typed: Fido jar blue
They ARE good looking jars!
Jacqueline
Thank you, friend 🙂 Glad I came back to comments and found this…you’re a doll 🙂
Hugs!
Heather Anderson
My Dear Friend in the Lord, we have never met in person, but you have ministered to me over and over the past few years. You have done it again. As you described your struggle, you described mine. The causes may differ – for me it began as a very difficult season watching our son walk a prodigal path, and then making a major move after living in one place for almost 20 years. The past two years we have gone through many difficult circumstances and I have felt at the end of me as never before in my life, to the point of questioning my own salvation. This has all brought on the rockiest period in my marriage in our twenty-three years. I am ALL IN in the journaling of things to be grateful in my husband, above all is his commitment to covenant with God and with me. Bless you through this journey, and thank you for sharing.
Jacqueline
Heather, consider me ‘in’ to pray for you and your situation. I love you in the Lord. Stand firm in love and prayer…remember Augustine’s mom Monica….
Blessings!
Jacqueline
Dear Heather,
My heart goes out to you, dear one. I think a wayward child or losing a child is about the most difficult thing we can go through. We love our children so very much and it tears apart to see them running form God…I will be praying that you don’t allow Satan to let it tear up your relationship with your husband or to tear down your faith and joy!
Be encouraged, sister: “”I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” ~John 16:33
I will pray and have already begun! Love you!
The Aspiring Illustrator
I’m in! I’m not married, but I’ll do this with my parents and siblings. I started doing this a year or two ago, but dropped it quickly….
Jacqueline
That is wonderful, Dear Aspiring illustrator.
I think it will be a delightful gift for them or for anyone, really!
Thank you for letting me know…it’s a blessing to know – you’re a blessing 🙂
Hannah
Hello Miss Jacqueline,
I stumbled across your blog awhile back and have enjoyed browsing it very much!
I publish a magazine called Shining Stars that is designed to encourage ladies of all ages in femininity and Biblical womanhood. We began the magazine in 2008 with the goal of encouraging unmarried young ladies who are serving their families and communities at home, preparing for the roles of wifehood and motherhood. We now have readers of all ages – from young girls to grandmas – and from all around the world. The magazine is full size, generally 24 pages, and professionally designed and printed. The material is supplied by the readers.
You don’t need to publish my comment – I was just trying to get in touch with you and I didn’t see any other contact form! I am contacting you to see if you would be interested in doing a review/giveaway? I could send you a copy of each of the past three issues and if this is something that you feel would be beneficial to your readers, I would be happy to give away a subscription or two. We also have a 2015 inspirational calendar available … if you would like to do a review and giveaway for that, I would be happy to send one.
Our website is http://www.shiningstarsmagazine.com … we have recently upgraded/changed our design and layout and it is still under a little construction – we hope to have that finished very soon.
If you would like to do a review/giveaway, please let me know and I will send you those copies asap!
Abundant Blessings ~ Hannah Washburn
Jacqueline
Dear Hannah,
Shalom Aleichem!
Thank you so much for thinking of me for a giveaway. I love what I see on your website, your products (magazine and calender) and your blog; we are aligned in a love of our Savior and I see no reason under normal circumstances that I wouldn’t want to do a giveaway.
Right now we are under a increasing challenge to care for 2 grandparents bothe long distance and we are having extreme time management issues. I need to lower our commitments and just hone in on the most basic things right now. I have one last (maybe 2) giveaway which I commited to almost 8 months ago, and so hopefully I can get to that/those as I did commit but had no way to foresee the events we are now in. BUT, we have a GREAT God and he is working it ALL out for good and growing us closer and closer to Him in this time of trials and illness. John 16:33!!!
I am sorry to decline, dear Hannah. I pray the Lord will provide just the right exposure so your beautiful enterprise will thrive! May the Almighty Lord bless ALL the work of your hands to His glory and your family 🙂
Warmly,
Jacqueline
Hannah
Shalom Miss Jacqueline, thank you so much for your sweet reply. I totally understand time management issues and lowering commitments – that is something I deal with on a regular basis – I definitely have the tendency to overcommit :p You will be in my thoughts and prayers as you care for your family members, may our Heavenly Father bless you with strength and endurance.
Jacqueline
Thank you, Hannah! I wish I could do it, but will try and get past this season and then consider more!!
Blessings!
Nancy
I just found this – better late than never! I’m starting!
What a wonderful idea- it will be a gift for us both because I know God will also use it to change me. ( just like the 1,000 gifts journal which I’ve been keeping for several years)
Nancy
Oh, Jacqueline, where did you find your little blank book- Eyes to See? Is it available somewhere online?
Jean
What a great idea! I’m getting a late start but this is definitely going to be one of my 2015 projects.
Angie
Thank you so much for this. I’m going to do this with you too. The last three years have been devastating for me. My oldest daughter got married and moved over on hour away, my husband’s sister and my mom fought cancer and both passed away in 2014 within 6 weeks of each other (I was part time caretaker for both), in December our first grandchild was born and the next day my husband’s mother died unexpectedly. All 3 deaths were within the last 6 months of last year. We run a family business, home school our 2 youngest children, and are also dealing with personal health issues and extended family health isssues. We are overextended and exhausted. I used to write my husband love notes and have been thinking of beginning a journal. I intended to use the journal to chronical my negative thiughts; like you I struggle with a melancholy disposition at times. So many other struggles… Again THANK YOU!
Jacqueline
Dear Angie,
Bless you for your candor. You have been through such heavy trials and it just takes a toll. I am adding you to my prayers in the next days and hope you will feel the love and peace of Jesus in increasing measure as you praise and thank Him and apply Philippians 4:8 to you marriage and all of life! “The name of Jesus is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe.” Proverbs 18:10
Deb
I already have a book that would work, and with your encouragement, I think this is a great time to start! Our 35th anniversary is in August…I agree that it would be the best gift! Thank you!
Jacqueline
Thank YOU! I am glad you are doing it, Deb! 35 years is awesome 🙂 God bless you in this effort!
beth
Thank you so much for writing this down and sharing. Oh some days I so want to throw my arms up in the air and be done with it. Just walk away into the world and let go. Then morning comes again and I can’t wait to snuggle and forgive and let the grumbles go. Some days its the moodiness, many the my wants I can’t have with him my heart keeps desiring, often just me taking things personally that aren’t for me to be affected by. The age difference (20 years) But love, love, is an amazingly strong feeling that when it’s true it keeps a connection between two people. Even if it’s just god for a moment or day. Love is so beautiful I can’t imagine not being in love again. My grandparents met as young children. Married at 15 and 17 and remained together threw the 5 children, the manic depression my gram would have causing hospitalization. They were smitten. The way they doted on another all threw life. I admired them. My gram was the easy going type at all. God bless my grandfather. Anyway my mom divorced. We had the “perfect” family. She strayed. It caused me much pain and I battled anorexia and bulimia as a result. Part of me never forgave her but I took care of her threw her illnesses , cancer, and all threw the last days. Took care of my step father as well that developed dementia/alzheimers early onset due to a spinal injury when younger. I don’t know why I’m sharing this but I love everything you speak about and share and how genuine you are. Threw all of it I vowed that if I fell in love there was not a chance I would fail. I would never divorce or give up. You stated so honestly that it isn’t always our cup of tea but it is indeed the honey or sugar and even the root of the plant. Isn’t that what all of us are the roots of gods plants. Growing and strengthening until were full bloom in heaven along side him . Thank you Jacqueline. Thank you for being a wonderful honest beautiful person that is touching the lives of so many others in an age technology can be quite the opposite. Thank you thank you.
Jacqueline
Oh, dear Beth,
You have me in tears…you write so beautifully about this very deep subject…love.. and all of its facets and trials. I do hope you will do the challenge alongside of me 🙂 It is changing me slowly and deeply. Let me know how it goes, and I will pray that the Lord does marvelous things in your marriage. I trust HE can do it…with God all things are possible!
Hugs!
Patty
What a wonderful idea! We will be celebrating 42 years of marriage this March!
Thanks so much for sharing,
Patty
cheri
And you matter to me and give me such inspiration! This will be a wonderful gift to him and fun for me to reconnect special moments. Thank you! Cher
Hannah Avery
I started doing this a few years ago, but keep stopping and starting. I think I want to take this challenge, and see if I can get it done and give it to my husband for our anniversary in August. Thank you so much for the beautiful post! I am reading Ann Voskamp’s book and loving it.
Susannah
What an amazing thing you’re doing. Your husband will certainly feel so loved! I’m in a season of disconnect with my husband right now too – new baby, not enough sleep, him working extra hours – and something like this would be such a wonderful thing to do as an encouragement in our marriage. Thanks for linking up with the Faith and Fellowship Blog Hop!
Rachel
The last couple of days I had some of the same thoughts knowing that they need to held captive to Christ. Thank you for the encouragement of a great gift to show reverance to our husbands.
Jacqueline
It is so hard when we want to do the right thing and fail in the flesh! The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak! I just wrote in today’s entry…it was so nice to recognize my heart is changing and softening…allowing his to soften! I Praise God that you might be doing this, Rachel! I’m praying for you, sister!
Summer
Wow, so good! What a timely piece for my heart as well. This February I am planning on intentionally loving my husband over-the-top throughout the month to “celebrate” him. I love your challenge to write gratitudes about him throughout the year…our hearts are so often directed by our focus. May we grow thankful and beautiful hearts tended towards our men. Thanks for writing this! 🙂
Jacqueline
You are welcome 🙂 I love your idea to ‘celebrate him’ in the month of February! He will be so happy and blessed!
Shirley Wood
I’m not one for journaling on a regular basis, although I do it rarely. I am in the habit of praying for my husband when I awaken and his is still sleeping (which is always). I simply lay my hand on his shoulder and ask God to bless him in every way and I also thank God for this man who means so much to me.
Thanks for your thoughtful post. It is so inspirational. Stopping by from Motivation Monday. Would love for you to stop in and share this with our readers at Merry Monday. http://wp.me/p4fJXd-1nV
Sheila
I’m in….I struggle w negative thoughts so much and I needed to read this and I’m all in! It will at least be good for the renewing of my mind that God is calling me to! Thankyou for sharing!
Julie Ann
I am new to your blog…but definitely a soul sister! I so often let all that negative self talk be MY struggle, and you just reminded me that I can give even that over to my Lord. Praise Him and thank you! I plan to join you on this challenge. I did something similar for our 22nd anniversary…made a list of 22 reasons why I would say “I do” again. A word of caution (especially for those of us with this kind of disposition): beware the tendency to think that the beloved did not receive this gift with all the enthusiasm and appreciation we know it deserves! This time around I will focus on my own growth through this exercise and let Jesus give me all the kudos 🙂
Jacqueline
Amen, Julie Ann!!! Yes, Ma’am, we are soul sister! Hugs and love to you 🙂
Joy
What a precious idea–thank you for sharing it with us! Today is our 24th wedding anniversary and I plan to start today preparing to give this to him next year for our 25th!
Jacqueline
Happy Anniversary, Joy! I hope you have an awesome day and pray you will have many more wonderful years together! He will love it!
Joy
Today’s our 25th anniversary! Thank you for inspiring me to keep a gratitude journal for my husband this past year. It’s been as much of a gift to me as to my husband.
ally doyal
Dear Jacqueline,
I am so thankful that I stumbled upon you on Pinterest. You have blessed my life! I enjoy reading the things that you write so very much. You are an encouragement to me as a mom, a wife, and a Christian. I have to apologize to you, when I first joined Pinterest, I was obsessed. I didn’t know my Pinterest manners, and I repinned way too many of your pins. I had no idea that it was rude until another pinner brought it to my attention. I was just in love with many of your pins, and wanted to pin them so that I could have them and enjoy them when I needed. I’m so sorry if that offended you! Thank you again for all that you do. Your willingness to share your knowledge on many things is much appreciated!
Jacqueline
Dear, dear Ally,
I am so honored,but I must tell you that it is all the Lord! I am so messed up and will be until the day He calls me home. I stand in awe of His goodness to save me from the direction I was headed. I thank you, though, and you encourage me with your kind words.
About the pins…I will ask my daughter. I hadn’t noticed anything at all 🙂 So I guess we are good, right?! I will come and follow you if I can find you. Are you found under Ally Doyal?
Do have a fabulous and blessed day, new friend! Happy Valentine’s Day <3
Terri Presser
I think this post has had a great impact on people considering the amount of comments that you have had. It is great and such a good reminder. I especially like the journal idea, what a wonderful gift for your husband. Thank you for being so open and honest with us about the issues in your life. Thanks for linking up at Good Morning Mondays. Blessings to you and yours.
Plain Bre
I will be doing it this year. Jumping on the band wagon a little bit late. But, hey, never too late to begin a new journey to a better marriage.
My husband and I will be celebrating our 5 year anniversary in 1 month. And I can’t wait to start this.
Jacqueline
I am so glad to hear it, Bre!! You don’t sound plain to me, friend! 😀 May God be glorified in your adventure!
Plain Bre
May not sound plain. I was not raised plain at all. It is however steps we are taking in following what we believe God has for our family. Do you have an email? Or a way I could contact you personally? I have a couple of questions for you that I would rather not have public.
Thank you so much.
Jacqueline
Hi, Bre 😀 Are you on Facebook? We might connect better that way possibly. I would love to talk, friend! If not, I will give you my email 🙂
Plain Bre
Yes, I am on facebook as Plain Bre. I follow your blog page on Facebook. However there is not a message tab on there.
Lorena
What an inspired idea!! I would love to read a follow-up post, if there is one, on what the results were of making this list: Did it change the way you thought about or related to your husband? What did he think of it when he received it? Did it change him?
Jacqueline
He loved it, Lorena! It did really make him see how I noticed things (big and small) he did, but I do think it changed me more than him 😀 I don’t have another post on it, but I still practice it from time to time!
Blessings, friend!