I believe that years of segregating children from worship in the greater worshiping community has failed. I think it’s time we were more passionate about having children in church.
[This is in no way directed to parents with special needs or children with focus issues. This is meant to exhort parents of neurotypical children to do the hard work while they are young! No judgement intended.][Ideally, children can go to worship with their family plus a non-entertainment Bible class that is age appropriate.]
- Children need to feel like they are a part of the church community
- Children who don’t feel like a part of the church community will leave church when they’re older
- Children should not be removed from the main body for convenience sake
- Children are a part of the Body of Christ
- Children need godly examples of how to worship
(Source)
Experiencing Worship is Much Greater Than a Sermon
Child or adult, young or older, the sermon is only one small part of the greater experience. Singing the songs. Praying corporately as a whole church. Hearing the words of God read and watching other’s interest in them. Serving. Giving of our tithes and offerings. Celebrating. Fellowshiping. Communing with God and with each other. Not understanding the sermon in no way negates the rest of the experience.
One mom shared with me that the reason her kids don’t often go to kids’ church is because more often she wants to them to experience the corporate worship time, to be a part of the worship music/hymns that replicates the services that she grew up in and that have been part of their family’s heritage.
For this mom, it’s not about her children understanding each word of the sermon. It about the total package; the experience of being in church, surrounded by the things that have been formational for generations and by the people who make up the body of Christ. (source)
It would be naive to think that this is a simple or easy task.
Kids are… well, kids, sometimes noisy or distracting. Parents should be prepared for the occasional acting out and their not tracking with the follow-up after the service to reinforce what was taught. And parents are often tired.
But I firmly believe these frustrations of the moment are far less painful than the alternative – a generation who is unknown, disengaged, and separated from the larger body of Christ.
The art of listening to a sermon is not something easily obtained because of our social media-driven culture. There’s virtually nowhere else kids will learn this skill. Someone introduced to a worship service as a teen will have a much more difficult time learning how to listen to sermons than one who’s been raised to slowly appreciate the intricacies of this unique (and biblical) form of communication. Sitting in the worship service teaches them how to worship by listening to God’s Word—an invaluable skill for any Christian. (source)
And much of what is included in that package is not comprehended through the mind, but through the heart. A sense of belonging, a place in community, being an important part of a body. All of that can be experienced, regardless of age.
If you love good satire, you will appreciate this, and it will drive the point home! 5 minutes.
If we believe that the message of the gospel and of Jesus Christ is worthwhile, then rejuvenating the life of the younger Christian community is highly important.
The Greatest Stumbling Block In Worship
These arguments for bringing children to worship, of course, will only carry weight with parents who really love to meet God in worship and really want their kids to get that and grow up breathing that air.
John Piper states, “The greatest stumbling block for children in worship is parents who don’t cherish doing that time of worship. They don’t love it. Children can feel the difference between duty and delight.”
“What would be the impact if, for twelve years, the children saw dad praying during the prelude to worship? Or if they saw mom beaming with joy in singing the praises of God? Just think of it. Millions and millions of children never see their parents sing, let alone sing songs with joy to a great God.”
Why wouldn’t parents be jealous to model for their children the tremendous value that they experience joyful fellowship in the presence of almighty God?
Even amid doodling, truth can be absorbed. And true even if they say they are bored.
At the core of Jesus’s Great Commission to his disciples (Matt. 28:18–20) is the call to make disciples of all nations. The “all” includes the very people within our own families, and the commission is not restricted to age. And making disciples is never an abbreviated event.
Even if our kids don’t understand everything at first in the readings, singing, and preaching – make no mistake about it, they won’t – they will at least understand the people who love them and stand beside them.
Living life this close gives us a prime opportunity to incorporate in our conversation what they don’t grasp. Children hear and process way more than we could ever realize. I was surprised at what our 4-year-olds asked when we’d assumed they were off somewhere else!
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Matt 11:28-30
Learning Hymns: Teach Children Effortless Theology
Joel
Beautfiul thoughts, hopefully thoughts, and actions to back them up, that are becoming main-stream SOON. I can still remember sitting in church as a very young kid–watching the movements, hearing the music, listening to the readers, wondering what the sermon thing was all about, playing with those hymn books, folding up the bulletin into airplanes, etc.
Marilyn
When I was put in charge of the Junior Dept ages 9 to 12, we had Children’s Church, while the Adults had church upstairs. W started with songs of praise and then had some actions choruses which the kids loved. Children were encouraged to do “specials” like singing, playing piano or instruments etc. Then we received an offering. and celebrated anyone having a birthday. We took their prayer requestz and had testimony time as well. Before breaking into separate classes we had Bible verse time..where the children learned The Lord’s prayer, The 10 Commandments, and the Books of the Bible (in song). Many of the teachers also taught school, and they made sure to read bible stories and instruct each child on the importance of making a decision for Christ. (They did distribute a snack and a drink) but didn’t spend a lot of time doing arts and crafts. Our Children’s Church was run along the lines of the Adult Church and when a child reached the age of 12 he received his Gratuation Diploma and a bible, then “graduated” to Adult Church where he was already familiar with the structure of the regular church program. There were about 150 children in the Junior Dept., and quite a few of them were bussed to the church. They didn’t have parents in the “big” church to sit with. When I was 4 and 5 I attended a Vacation Bible School and when at the age of 24 I received the Lord as my saviour, the songs and bible verses I learned at that Vacationt Bible School came pouring into my head, so I am a firm believer in reaching the minds of our young children with as much scripture learning as possible because it stays somewhere inside their “brain computers” forever. I might add, there was a good deal of opposition to having Children’s Church, because many felt “children belonged in church where they could be better disciplined, and that’s the way it hwas always done!”
Jacqueline
Thank you for sharing that, Marilyn!
Venus
I agree that children need to be exposed to worship but I think we need to be careful about getting tripped up in traditions. It’s one thing for a child to be babysat in another room during service and another to have a child taught on their level during a service. I have run across far too many adults who remember sitting through long services (reminisce in humor about it) but still don’t understand what God is all about. God is a breathable, flexible God. We don’t have to be on a pew to meet him. He will meet us where we are. And kids of true worshippers don’t have to sit with the adults duriing church to see worship where it is easy to go through the motions of church because they aleeady see it at home- in our language, in how we treat people on the day to day, how we teach them to handle difficult situations, how we consult with Him before every decision, how we give God praise through every accomplishment and disappointment. I know people who rarely go to church cause they cant sit for long periods of time because they are doers. They literally have their praise and worship while they work for Him. Whether feeding someone hungry or repairing a house, or doing a fundraiser for a children’s group. Though I do enjoy corperate worship, I too have learned far more in my small groups and family habits throughout my life than I ever have in service.
Samantha
That’s great, but a church should be mindful of being welcoming and accommodating to everyone. There are many more families that have children with special needs these days than in any generation past when the children sat in “big church.” Autism, sensory processing disorder, adhd and developmental delays are quite prevalent now, and many if not most of these children are not developmentally able to sit through a 60-90 min service without disruption to the service and embarrassment for the parent. By automatically assuming that every child is able to do so, you are excluding an entire group of people. Special needs families need the church just as much as anyone. If there’s no children’s church for my special needs kiddo to attend, I won’t be darkening your door.
Jacqueline
Samantha, hi! Well, you are talking to the right person! 🙂 because our church has a thriving and growing special needs department allowing families in the Lord already and also unreached families with these special children to come for worship and know they will be cared for, loved, and ministered to. I am one of those who volunteer and it is a joy and a blessing! <3
Tim
Our church has the kids stay in the service for worship. They get released to kids church during offering after worship.
In kids church they do a few more songs with some of the kids leading and then break up into their classes (age based).
Morgan
I think this often depends on how frequently a family attends church as well. There are also benefits to a balanced approach. Only attending on Sunday mornings when most children’s church programs occur or a situation where children are baby sat in another room is not an ideal situation. As a previous poster mentioned, children can benefit from being taught at their level scriptural truths and songs that remain for years to come. However, there is a benefit as mentioned in your post by children being a part of the worship service. I believe a combination of both works best all around and is more ideal. For example, our church promotes a good balance by having children’s church take place after song worship and offering on Sunday mornings so children participate in a portion of the service. However, children remain in the entire Sunday evening service with parents. They also have special programs for children on Wednesday night during the school year, but during the summer children sit with their parents. This helps the volunteers who work with children, get a break and some adult worship time but also parents. I know as a parent of young children, this approach is helpful to me because I do have some worship time to focus on solely the sermon and not my kids. While I do feel it is important for children to learn how to sit and listen and learn, it would definitely hamper my learning if I had my typical 3 year old boy during all 3 services.
Thank you for all your posts, I enjoy reading your blog!
Jacqueline
I am so glad you shared from your heart, Morgan! I am so thankful for chueches like yours 😀 Your children are blessed!
May the Lord give you all you need and more (overflowing) as you raise your little ones for Him!
J
Elise
I found this of much interest to read. It is fascinating to think of all of the things that must be considered.
sara lesky
at 45 years old, I can say I truly, truly value my time in “sunday school” as a child. While I will agree with the author that kids of all ages need regular exposure to the “big church” program, having been taught all the stories of the Bible AT MY LEVEL throughout my childhood has helped tremendously as I sit through “big church” as an adult. After sitting through “big church” for the last 20 years I feel I can safely assume that I don’t feel if little kids only sat through “big church” would they have the same Bible knowledge and understanding that I have now as a adult. As my pastor shares lessons from the Bible at an adult level, it gives me great perspective to be BUILDING upon the “basic/kid friendly” versions I had growing up. A LOT of the Bible can be very XXX or R rated and I like having those lessons taught to me at an adult level and not “dumbed down” because there are children present. The world is throwing a lot of scary stuff at Christians, and learning from how others faced those helps me in my daily life.
Jacqueline
Hi, Sara!
The thing I am impressed with is that most of today’s average “Sunday School” classes are very watered down and not at all like (compared to) the great class you and I must have been exposed to in years past. For me, in the 50s and early 60s I had a rich experience and Catechism.
And, I do not want to generalize, bc there ARE still those (I am guessing a lot less) that are very relevant and Christ-focused today. We go to one such church, but we also have 3 services and the children are encouraged to be in the one with their parent and in their own class when their parents are in an adult class. I do know that in a body of believers where Christ is preeminent and the center of worship, that chances are much better that the children will not be attending a party and self focused, fun event, but that Christ will be exalted. I recommend no one being content on pablum. Seeking the hard truths of the Word of God, forsaking easy-believism, serving even when the world is hard, that is what toughens us up to be engaged in this cruel world to the glory of God. Blessings, J
Lorrie Smith
As one who advocates children in worship, there were two things that concerned in the article. 1)The idea that the experience/total package exceeded the preaching. I understand that there are other activities in the worship service, but those activities actually point to the centrality of the proclamation of the gospel through the sermon. 2) The statement that we should listen with our heart not the mind seems to contradict that we worship in spirit and truth. We can’t separate these two. It’s the mind that informs the heart.
Jacqueline
Lorrie! I totally see what you are saying! There are just so many words one can write, and I wasn’t trying to get too technical or doctrinal on this one. Thank you, though! It is definitely true!
Blessings, J