I want to share a remarkable true story of a courageous woman winning a husband the way the Lord led her. I pray this will edify and encourage each and everyone of you that is living in a difficult marriage, but I am not speaking to those in an any kind of abusive situation! Please go to a safe place and get help. The Lord is for you and will help you – call on His name! Also, visit here.
There is a short 2 minute video in this post.
Winning Jim
Jim and I met in 1966. He was 25; I was 18. He was wild, and so was I. When we met he had already been in and out of prison for about seven years and was going back again for two years. We married in the prison six months later. Soon after, I had our son. A few months later I miraculously came to Christ. Because of the prison term I didn’t live with my husband for another two and a half years. After being home a year, he began a crime spree.
He deserted us over and over again. I had nowhere to turn except to God. No one knew where my mate was. Some of the time my heart would rage like a forest fire out of control on the dry and windy land. I would run and scream like a woman out of her mind searching for her mate in the raging fire. I’d scream curses at God only to faint from exhaustion and weep bitter tears of repentance. I’d get back up, begin running again and fall again and again until finally I’d surrender my will to Christ’s will. And then I’d wait, maybe for another six months, knowing God was in control.
In the beginning, I thought about divorce. Well, isn’t that what a woman does if her husband leaves her repeatedly? And yet, Jim kept coming back and repenting. He would mysteriously end up at my back door after being missing for four or five months, looking like a mad man. But beneath the dirt and sun-parched face, he was still mine.
I Had The Lord and Jim Didn’t
I’d bring him in the house, give him dinner, and speak peace and rest to him. I’d run the bath water for him to wash and feel like a man again. Compassion would rise up in my heart. I had the Lord, and my Jim didn’t. I would reverence and praise him.
I would shut the door on the world and be alone with my mate. No matter what he had done to me, we were still one flesh. He was my first and only husband–a terrible, ungodly, unfaithful husband, but he was still my husband. His healing came again and again as I forgave him and opened my love to him. I held nothing back. I was intent on winning him for the Lord.
There would be times when putting dinner on the table, I’d notice he was awfully late. I’d listen for the car and begin running again and again to the window. The old familiar fear would rage, knowing that he had deserted me again. This scene happened about 30 times in the first twelve years of marriage. He would suddenly disappear without warning. The children would run in from play crying, “Where is daddy, where is my daddy?” I’d tell my little baby, Jimmy, “Daddy is sick, but Jesus is going to heal him.” I taught my little ones to pray, “Thank you, Jesus, for bringing my daddy home.”
His [Jimmy’s] mother died, and no one could find him. My prayers went out to God day and night, seemingly to no avail. The years went on and the crimes continued as if I had no God. I felt like a motherless and fatherless child. I was completely exhausted, and my mate committed still another crime and went to prison for almost four years.
I loved him. I felt he was demon possessed, and yet he was my husband. At times I hated him. Your arms and legs belong to you even when they hurt; you can’t cut them off. I was like that about my husband. He was mine. I hated it when he deserted me, but I was married to him no matter what. Adultery to me was the worst of all sins. At night before I entered my marriage bed alone I’d cry out to God to keep me pure, even in my dreams, and that I would never dream of another man.
Many mornings, I’d wake up and think, “Lord, why did you give me another day to live?” Often the world seemed so black, but sweet Jesus would come to me and speak life and joy into my tired and depressed soul. One time God supernaturally took all my burdens away. I forgot he had left me. It was so hilarious. I even wrote myself a note to remember to pray for him.
The day-to-day message from the Lord was, “Now Connie, you just get up out of that bed. You straighten your shoulders and you believe God. This problem isn’t bigger than God. Don’t you prepare your day as though Jim won’t be home. You get up and prepare your home for a miracle.” Each evening when my husband was gone, I’d fix supper for him and put his plate at the head of the table. No one was allowed to sit in his chair and no one was allowed to bad mouth him. I ran the house as if he were home.
I survived and lived on the Word of God. I whispered His name all day long. He walked with me in the valley of death and guided me to a straight path.
(Source) (There is a movie hopefully in the works, a FB page inspired by Connie Hultquist, and a website with Connie’s journal to encourage and inspire you.
Prison
All our phone conversations at the prison were censored. I’d speak faith into the phone and say, “I’ll see you in a few days, honey. The guards thought we were planning an escape because Jim had been given a 10-year sentence!
People laughed at me and said that he would always leave me and be in and out of prison. The prison guards told me that Jim was institutionalized and was hopeless. Hopeless or not, he was my husband. I knew I could never forsake the Lord by not forgiving my own husband. Also, as a young wife, I wanted to be a teacher of women when I got older, and I knew I couldn’t be divorced. I’d sing, “Keep me Jesus as the apple of thine eye.”
Winning & Healing through Obedience
The Lord would tell me to speak to the mountains in my life and not doubt in my heart. I would speak to the mountain, which was Jim. I would woo him and call him home with my prayers. Every muscle in my body cried out to God to save him. I fasted and prayed continuously.
And Jim was healed in 1979. After he had been in prison for the last four years and home for about three months, he asked me to have another baby, our fourth. I was so fearful and yet was praying for Jim to be healed. I said ‘No’. I was not going to have another baby. I walked away from him, and the Lord spoke to me. “Connie, He said, “You have come this far by faith. Don’t give up now.” After much heartache, I obeyed the Lord my God.
“Yes,” I told Jim, I’ll have another baby for you.” I placed my future in his hands. When Jim saw that I still believed in his life as a human being something released within him. The Lord was winning. The fear left his eyes, and He was delivered. He lifted his hands up to His Father and received the anointing of a sound and unfettered mind. He began to slowly give more and more of his life to Christ. He took over the bills and began to work steadily. (source)
The Lord did exceedingly and abundantly more than I could ask or think. He gave me joy unspeakable! He showed me He was there all the time. He helped me have a winning spirit. I was winning through respect and love. Satan had come in like a flood, but the Lord raised such a standard against him.
All Satan did was build me a grand testimony.
God gave me a new batch of fruit.
I had David in 1980, Dan in 1982 and Mary in 1985. We now have six children.
I was queen in my palace. I raised the children for Christ and to honor their daddy. I taught them to jump when daddy walked into the room. I taught them to get Daddy a cup of coffee or honor him in some way.
The guys at work say to my husband, “You don’t go out and drink and party.” Jim says, “I have a wife to go home to. I spend my time with my family.”
One guy said, “Boy, when work is over you run home.” The guy thought something was wrong with him!
I sit here thinking of Jim and the man he is now. He has been home sitting at the head of our table for 20 years! Who is this Jesus we serve? Surely He is the Son of the living God, a God who saw me crying and feeling so forsaken, a God who knew the very moment Jim would be healed. Jim is my walking miracle to always remind me that nothing is impossible with God. He showed me that if we don’t give up, we will see the glory of God.
Proverbs 31:11 says, “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her.” A woman must gain the trust of a man such as this. His healing comes as he feels safe enough to give Christ his heart and his wife his heart. When Jim was healed he went from not seeing me to taking care of me. He turned from Satan and took dominion over his Eve. He came into his responsibilities as a man. I come under my husband, and I don’t desire to do anything else. I don’t always agree with him, and I tell him I don’t. But in the end his word is final. I want to be as Esther and not as Queen Vashti.
Dear wives and mothers, do you have a winning spirit? Don’t give up give up on your husband. God sees your heartache. He won’t leave you or forsake you if you trust in Him. I know for I’ve been to the other side.
by Connie Hultquist at Happy Housewifery.
UPDATE TO BRING HIM HOME–Updated December 2012
In April, 2006, my dear husband, Jim, died of a heart attack. As my six children and I gathered around Jim’s hospital bed the hospital chaplain told me, “I have never seen a family so full of love.” As the nurse told us Jim had passed, I whispered to each of the children to comfort and love each other. As we left the hospital room, I left a chapter in my life.
I wish I could say that all went well after that, but grief is hard to understand, and unpredictable. Jim and I were married for almost 40 years, my first and only husband. I still live in our family home, garden, bake bread, cook from scratch, and try to practice what I preach.
Jim would often say, “Connie and the children are what I live for, but I try to put God first. My family is my life.” When we would give our testimony to a church group, Jim would look up from the pulpit and say, “If it wasn’t for that little girl right over there I wouldn’t be alive today. She was my guardian angel.”
I now have nine grandchildren, and they are a wonderful blessing. Had I given up on my husband I would have never felt the joy of having all of these grandchildren. Praise the Lord!
Jim and I lived from one miracle to the next. To me, Jim and I were just two good forgivers as we all have feet of clay. Our love and life together was the most gut wrenching experience I ever had, but it was a one of a kind marriage. Would I do it all again? Yes, I would. Oh yes, it was worth it all. My marriage was tried in the fires many times, but I came out with a testimony of love and truth. My marriage has a winning message, “If you don’t give up you will see the glory of God.”
Excerpted from Connie’s Writings at Happy Housewifery.
Connie’s own story to encourage and inspire you. But again, I repeat, “I am not speaking to those in an abusive situation! Please go to a safe place and get help.”
Books to encourage and help: Enough is ENOUGH and I Don’t Want a Divorce: A 90 Day Guide to Saving Your Marriage both by David Clarke, Ph.D.
“Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.” ~1 Peter 3:1-2
“Child, it is not as much what happens, but how we take it that is important. God is watching to see whether we allow the problems to defeat us, or whether we will go through them in His strength, being made stronger for the next problem and ultimately for the final end battle. .. everything that happens to us in life is training for the work we will do next.” ~Corrie ten Boom
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Janie
what a story! I am very much encourage, thank you for sharing such a beautiful story of yours ma’am, you’ll never know how much it touched my heart, I can’t help shedding a tear while reading your post. How great our God indeed; that no problem is bigger than Him. He restored those years. I can say you are a very courageous woman. I just started my blog trying to be a homemaker and be what God wants me to be and I chanced upon your site while browsing for some inspiration, what a blessing! =) God Bless you more!
Jacqueline
Aww…Janie, I join with you in thanksgiving to our wonderful Lord! He does everything to grow and draw us to Him if we just would turn our eyes to Him! God bless you richly as you do what you know to be right in your family. I’ll come and visit you now 🙂 Have a wonderful weekend, new friend~!
Jessica
I can relate so well and have always been afraid that my quietness and gentleness would do my marriage no good. I couldn’t have read this at a more perfect time. God is good to provide us encouragement when we need it
Jacqueline
Praise God, Jessica! I am praying for you, sweet friend 🙂 “The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe.” Proverbs 18:10
Jane
I am reading this with tears streaming down my face and hope and joy in my heart. I have been praying for and standing with God for a restored covenant marriage for just over 6 years. Although circumstances differ somewhat in our stories, I have felt every pain, heartache, anger, frustration, humiliation, doubt that Connie had. I have also felt every joy, hope, peace, promise and the steadfast love of Jesus. This has brought me so much reassurance at a time when I am in such need. Our God is the God of promise, of the impossible, of miracles, of deliverance and of love. I stand faithful in knowing He will restore, deliver and heal my husband, our marriage and me.
Jacqueline
Oh, Jane – praise God for His marvelous timing and Holy spirit encouragement! Stand firm in bold faith, dear one. I am praying now that the Lord will do the ‘impossible’!!!!! xoxo
Hope D.
I am in tears. This is my fight. Thank you sister.
Jacqueline
OK, Hope!!! I am praying and standing with you, dear one! May the Lord fill you with His grace and peace as you stand firm in faith. xoxo
Rebekah
Thank You, for sharing…. A true example to look to during the hard times of ones difficult marriage.
Michelle
What a beautiful an encouraging testimony. I am a husband less wife (he left several years ago after 26 years of marriage and has since remarried) and the loneliness is the hardest but I am trying seek God’s will and direction and His “peace that surpasses all understanding.” Thank you for sharing.
Jacqueline
Dear Michelle,
My heart goes out to you. May the Lord Himself be your husband. he will never leave you or forsake you! “For your husband is your Maker, Whose name is the LORD of hosts; And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel, Who is called the God of all the earth.” ~Isaiah 54: 5
I am praying right now that the Lord will send just that right somebody to take away some of the loneliness, dear one.
((((Hugs!))))
Karen
Thank you for sharing your story, it really spoke to me and my current situation with my husband of 14 years. My husband left home on March 4, 2016 and has not returned. We have 2 children, son 16 and daughter 12. My children and I pray daily for my husband and their father. I believe in my heart that God wants me to stand for my marriage and at times the loneliness and sadness makes me want to give up. I love my husband and want our marriage to be restored greater than it ever was and I’m trusting that God will work it all out for our good. Please lift my family up in prayer and after reading your story I realize that nothing is to hard for God.
Jacqueline
Dear Karen,
I am impressed that the Lord’s timing is perfect! You seeing Connie Hultquist’s story at this time is not a coincidence. I am praying now that the Lord will break your husband’s hard heart and that our sovereign God will bring him back whatever it takes. I am also praying for your children to see the beauty in your praying for your husband rather than vilifying him. It will keep their hearts soft to things of God and also they will not take the separation as personally when they realize he needs the Lord. As long as you are not being abused, you you have a submitted heart before the Lord, you are in a good place in the center of Gods will. 1 Peter 3:4-5, 1 Peter 3:1 :”Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives…”
I am praying, dear one! may the King of all heaven and earth move the heart of your man!
Karen
Thank you so much for replying. I’m much stronger today than I was just a month ago. My faith in good is growing and so is my relationship with him as well. Go’s is working on my husband and as he prepares his heart he is working on my heart. I’m learning and seeking to have that agape love. Thanks for your prayers and please keep them going.
Jacqueline
Yes, Karen, I will!!! Thank you for the update, friend! I am meditating on this scripture. esp the part about learning form Him (who is gentle and lowly in spirit (what we are called to imitate about Him): “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” ~Matthew 11:28-30
will keep praying for you both!
Rebekah
Thankyou for the note at the beginning of the story about seeking help if you are in an abusive situation. There needs to be more of those notes on stories such as these to help women in abusive marriages realise that God does not expect them or their children to live with abuse and fear. I read many such stories etc over the 17 years of my marriage, never realising that my 5 children and I were being continually abused by my husband. I believed that if I just obeyed and respected my husband, prayed and trusted God enough, and taught my children to do the same, then my marriage would be healed. I eventually came to the shocking realisation that we had been living with family violence and abuse that whole time and the comments that had been made by my family and friends about things they had seen, were in fact true. Thankfully God opened my eyes at last and we left him a year ago, now my children and I are on the slow road to healing from the abuse, though being retraumatised through the family court system. I know that God is in control though and I can see He has gone before us, preparing all the details to pave the way. He will cause the truth to prevail in the end and bring us through to the other side. I will still honour my marriage vows and have chosen not to divorce, but to remain separated but single, even if my husband chooses a different path. Thankyou for your encouraging website.
Jacqueline
Ohhh, Rebekah, my heart goes out to you, dear one. I am praying for you all to experience the sweet healing balm of Jesus’ gift of salvation and the grace and mercy that comes from trusting Him in it all. May you all draw nearer to Him than ever. ” Count it all joy, my brothers,[b] when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” James 1: 2-4
I pray you lack nothing as you submit to the Lord!!
Charlotte Moore
This was a true for better for worse story. What a wonderful story how GOD changed his life and helped her through it all.
Jacqueline
I know, Charlotte! Isn’t God wonderful and faithful?!! I would not have been such a steadfast wife, but maybe the Holy Spirit would have helped change my hard heart!
Praying you are well and thriving in the Lord! 😀
Jenna Camareno
Just FYI, your “remarkable true story” link at the beginning of your post seems to have gotten corrupted. I clicked it a couple times and it sent me to a different website, and then downloaded something onto my computer without my permission.
The story is incredible, though. Very encouraging!
Jacqueline
Jenna, thank you so much for telling me so it doesn’t happen to anyone else! I’m so sorry. I hope no lasting damage was done. I fixed it!
Blessings, J