Camping Buddies
My heart is breaking for the souls of our children. And, yes, there might be a negative reaction from readers on what I need to say on this topic.
I need to speak the truth, for what is the use of a blog if not to influence our culture? Please do not confuse this with me thinking I have all the answers. I know I don’t, but there is so much trouble ahead for the children, families and for our country if we don’t purposefully attend to this in our homes.
Parents, how are your young children entertained? Are they allowed to run and play outside, climb trees, catch frogs and bugs in the backyard or get dirty?
Saturday Evening
Starving Children?
Many, if not most, kids today are growing up in a world where they don’t have time to rest, curl up with a good book, build things, or problem-solve face to face with real live people.
The Model Builder
Many are being hurriedly stuffed into a car-seat and shuttled on the freeway from one class to another so that our ‘prodigies’ can be well-rounded or find their giftedness, and yet their thirsty hearts and very souls are drying up.
Their young years are being wedged and crammed into the adult’s idea of time slots.
I heard one young mother ahead of me in the grocery line loudly declare that she gave her 3 children iPads for the car. She wanted to keep them quiet so she could listen to her music as she chauffeured them around.
What sparked me to write was this photo which appears on a Fisher-Price ad with these words: “Today’s toddlers embrace touch-screen technology… just like their parents. The old adage ‘like mother/father like daughter/son’ rings true.”
The Performance-Driven Life
Could it be that constantly being indoors or in the car, media exposure to immoral values at an early age, lack of consistent routine, constant over-stimulation by electronic entertainment, and attempting to make kids into little adults is destroying the hearts and souls of our children?
It is thought that parents can actually cause childhood depression by expecting too much of our young people. I believe it!
Are we so busy and so in need of something new to strive for and to do that we have forgotten the purposeful quiet times of being at home with no where to go and restful peace?
The stress and anxiety of a performance-driven young life is leading to obesity, depression, insecurity, anger, and emotional illnesses.
Playing House
Many teens today have never experienced the gift of a carefree early childhood and as parents one day (without turning to God for answers) will NOT be able to supply it to their own children.
“This is what the LORD says: “Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls. But you said, ‘We will not walk in it.'” ~Jeremiah 6: 16
Lost Touch
It only takes one, possibly two generations for the wonderful old ways of bringing up children to be lost. These old ways would largely seem to be the time-tested way to raise strong, healthy children.
Children need:
- Emotionally available parents
- Clearly defined limits and guidance
- Responsibilities
- Balanced nutrition and adequate sleep
- Movement and outdoors
- Creative play, social interaction, opportunities for unstructured times and boredom
Building these foundations take years of consistent input and planning – intentional living and prayer for guidance by conscientious parents. It just will not happen when children are addicted to the cultural norms as seen on the internet and the television.
“The childhood shows the man
As morning shows the day.”
~John Milton, Paradise Regained
Bored Time Is Well Spent
Children are intellectually, spiritually, emotionally, and physically fed through imaginative play, outdoors and fresh air, free time – yes, even some bored time – so they can develop skills to use it wisely.
Children need time for inner strength and wholeness to form. Time to listen to the wind in the leaves, birds, rain on the roof, or simply feel the warmth of the sun on their shoulders with a good book.
Time to swing real high for the sheer joy of it and to explore God’s creation in all its grandeur.
The Hiding Place
Little people are studious imitators of others and will naturally mirror what they are exposed to, so it is essential that we fill their days with ideas, adults, and heroes worthy of imitation.
Children Dream In Pre-Play
Both boys and girls need to dream, and to use a phrase, ‘pre-play’ what they want be and do when they grow up.
When I Grow Up
Children Need Downtime
“Almost certainly, downtime lets the brain go over experiences it’s had, solidify them, and turn them into permanent long-term memories,” said Loren Frank, professor at the University of California, San Francisco, where he specializes in studies on learning and memory. He said he believed that when the brain is constantly stimulated, “you prevent this learning process.”
Other studies found that people learned significantly better after a walk in nature than after a walk in a dense urban environment, suggesting that processing a barrage of information leaves people fatigued. (source)
Historical, Societal Changes
A British neuroscientist warned that Internet use may be rewiring our children’s brains leading to attention deficits making reading more difficult and the possibility that children are growing up more detached from other people.
Historically, societal changes have been in musical taste and style of dress.
Now change has to do with technology and the use of technology to deal with social relations, and it is stealing the very lifeblood out of our relationships!
Children Starving
Children are starving for real life experiences and relationships and are forgetting how to live when bombarded by the emptiness of media and its constant pull and addiction.
Favorite Story
“I think children need the same protection and nurturing. Children’s brains are being robbed of intellectual exercise because they are not doing the things that children have done through out history. Children need lots of time to have alone-time-imagination–to synthesize all that they are learning and thinking about in their worlds. Children need to be read to, and to have their brains filled with moral strength, values and stories that inspire.” ~Sally Clarkson, The Mission of Motherhood
Bedtime Story
Children need lots of time with parents and other mature adults so that they can integrate their values and manners.
Wholesome Book Lists For Growing Your Library
Our children need to have wholesome books available and have lots and lots of imaginative stories read to them and then have time to play act or narrate the stories, sometimes over and over to grasp the deeper meanings.
- 100+ Whole-Hearted Books To Fight Back the Culture
- 25 Beloved, Time-Tested Read Alouds For Young Children
- Character-Building Book Resources For Raising Girls
It is my prayer that we will give our children an rich investment into their lives, to hold them close, rock them to sleep, sing and dance with them, answer their myriad of questions and uphold their innocence and purity so they can process this world they’ve been given. Mostly, may we point them to the Savior, read them His Word, and draw them into His reality by being authentic, transparent caring parents to them on this journey called life.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” ~Matt. 11:28
All images are by Jim Daly, one of our favorite artists.
If you’ve been encouraged or informed by something you’ve read here at Deep Roots, please consider liking my page on Facebook, joining us on Pinterest, or subscribing to the helpful email resources. Thank you!
Thanks for reading!
Tina at Mommynificent says
While I agree with you for the most part and I definitely agree with your heart here, I disagree that the answer lies in going back to the old ways of doing things. I’m afraid we’ve romanticized the old ways and forgotten about the negatives of days gone by. In my opinion, the answer lies in raising our children according to scriptural principles and God’s perspective rather than according to how it used to be done because, truly, we’ve always been sinful and made horrible mistakes in our parenting. Our answers for how to live don’t lie in history but in God’s Word. I know you agree with this, but I just wanted to make sure the distinction was made.
Thanks for sharing this at Booknificent Thursday! Looking forward to seeing you again this week!
Tina
Julie Corley says
Well said Tina! Glean from the good of the past and change what needed to be different. I’ve made mistakes in raising my five sons . . . God is good . . . He’s given me 11 (almost 12) grandchildren to redefine and hopefully improve on my teaching techniques! Sure love this grandparenting!
Jacqueline says
How much fun you must be having! Praise God! Yes, I totally agree with Tina 🙂 God is the only constant and our true foundation in this world!
Thanks for sharing Julie!
Nancy Messner says
True, Tina…afterall…all of us are on the computer reading this! I am getting off my computer now! May God receive the glory for all his goodness wherever it is found. May we be faithful with the talents (and children) he has entrusted us with for the benefit of HIS Kingdom, HIS word and His ways…not only for the well-being of ourselves and our children in the short term.
Roxy says
Dear Sweet and Lady, I am so blessed by this post! The truth can set us free or cause us to say NO I love to be free myself while my children are chained to the tech toys.
I did Pin this article!!
Blessings, Miss Roxy
Roxy says
One more thing! I did have a typo because the phone was ringing and I am on the computer and a text is waiting…. Point made….
I may need to rethink a few things on my blog and my mission in what I post on and having a Link Party that keeps me too busy!
You are right and the point I picked up is too much techy stuff stifles and He has said to keep watch over their hearts. Real is going to benefit more than the screen any day!
Roxy
Jacqueline says
I LOVE you, Roxy! You are REAL 🙂 A real joy and so loving and transparent! Thank you, dear friend. I wish we lived close to each other 🙂
Hugs and blessings in the Lord 🙂
Elisha Wolter says
Hi Jacqueline! This is so beautifully written. You’ve put into words perfectly what’s been on my heart for some time now. “It only takes one, possibly two generations for the wonderful old ways of bringing up children to be lost.” – when I read this I thought ‘No, that just can’t happen!’ It really is so important that children are allowed to be children! They really are the ‘wonderful’ old ways! I absolutely love your heart for glorifying God and for families. You are very inspiring and remind all of us Mothers to keep God’s ways as the center of our homes. Thank you for having the courage to share honestly, it is very refreshing. I hope you have a beautiful week!
Elisha
Jacqueline says
It is so wonderful to find like-minded sisters in the Lord, Elisha. Praise God! Thank you.
Let’s just kneel and continually pray that the Lord will continue to raise up families committed to Him and the beautiful praiseworthy things of a simple, but rich life! Phil. 4:8 May His name be praised in all the earth 🙂
God bless you and your family as you follow Him!
Mila says
So agree! another take on same:
http://www.theatlantic.com/features/archive/2014/03/hey-parents-leave-those-kids-alone/358631/
Thankfully – our son had dirt lots, old trees, lots of time and freedom to grow up – our grandkids, not so much.
Mila says
In addition to my previous comment – I do know – thank the Lord – that their hearts are being fed the words and love of Jesus Christ and that, even tho’ they live an urban life, they are guided by God’s love. The world needs children who are lead by love, not the latest fad or technology. The natural world is God’s gift – our kids need to be out in it – that is where the lessons are taught by His design.
Jacqueline says
Oh, well said, Mila! I DO know children grown to adults who are walking with the Savior and reaching souls who grew up in big cities. The defining factor was the Word of God taught *AND* lived out by their real and flawed, but authentic parents (no hypocrisy). So true!
Have a blessed week!
Catherine says
This is a wonderful post reflecting values and wisdom. It well written from the heart, expressing what so many of use are watching and wondering where has the imagination and the fun of dreaming gone.
Blessings, Catherine
Angela Glenn says
I am educator and a parent. It often amazes me the different worlds I see. I grew up in a family that lived for the outdoors, strong in family ties, and I raise my own family the same way. They have little tablets but they only go in the car for the long car rides across country to see family. My girls spend hours a day running outside and if stuck inside they are playing some made pretend story. I feel that my friends still raise their families the “old” way, which is reassuring because as a teacher I see too many children with completely uninvolved parents. The old values are not lost. Some of us are still carrying them on with our children. I recently published a book about motherhood in our new digital age and even though it focuses on the journey on motherhood there is a whole chapter dedicated to overscheduling our children and how time with them is the most important thing. Found you through the Wed blog hop and added you to my google circles. Really enjoyed the post. I think you’ll enjoy the book. 50% of the profitable sales now through August are donated to a children’s charity for childhood cancer (http://pacifundproject.blogspot.com)
Angela @ Time with A & N
http://www.lulu.com/shop/angela-williams-glenn/moms-monsters-media-margaritas/paperback/product-21654940.html
Van says
I just found your blog via Monica at thehomespunheart.blogspot.com.
So glad I did.
I am a mom who has been looking for a blog filled with wisdom — from someone who has lived long enough and have learned things through life experiences to have wisdom.
Thanks for your encouragement to mothers everywhere.
Davonne Parks says
I love this article so much! My girls played five different games with just a water-hose yesterday and had a blast. My oldest (9) loves to read, sew and bake while my youngest (almost 5) loves to play with sticks in the dirt and listen to the sounds of nature. Those things are soothing to their souls! Thank you for posting this, it is such a blessing to me!
Davonne Parks says
I neglected to tell you that I also found you from Monica at The Homespun Heart. Pinning this article!
Shirley Wood says
Thank you so much for such a thoughtful article. Parents should indeed give their children a rich investment into all aspects of their lives. That should continue on into adulthood as well.
So glad you linked up with us at Wake Up Wednesday.
Pinned to my FYI board.
Stephanie says
I’ve been regretting not having the money to do more things with my children (18-2yo). This was so encouraging to me! I just had a good talk with my eldest about him needing to go for a walk around the farm daily, to let God wash his spirit in peace and absorb vitamin D and get a little exercise. Realizing, too, that while i do make a lot of time and opportunity for my children to be outside/get dirty/ build, i need to be there with them, too…
Jacqueline says
Yes, Stephanie, that is the prescription 🙂 God bless your heart that is sensitive to the Lord’s leading!!
Pam says
Wonderful words of wisdom; beautiful drawings!
Jacqueline says
Aww…thanks, Pam! God is so good to us all…I’m so thankful He showed me as a young mother!
julie soto says
Thank you for this. I often cry yearning for these things for my children. I became a Christian when my oldes was 2 and I was already divorced from his dad. He certainly did not embrace the values you speak of. When I remarried and had two more children, finances prevented me from staying home with them. We have since moved from NYC to SC to follow the Lord and live differently. When this school year is over, I will be homeschooling my 16 year old & my 7 year old. I have to admit though that our family life does not reflect what is in my heart. We’re getting rid of cable in a few months when the contract is over. I know it’s going to be difficult getting everyone around the table instead of the boob tube! Any suggestions?
Sophia says
Yes, thank you, thank you! I often feel guilty that I let my children just play outside (we live on a minifarm) for 5-6 hours during all the warm months… I think of all the “progressive” parents out there who are driving their (even homeschooled, like mine) children every day… and then I think about my childhood: locked up in an apartment in a nine-story building all hours after school… and how I longed to just play on a grass (there was hardly any grass around to play on)…. and I think about how lucky my kids are… I remember that horrible feeling of imprisonment for many, many years, and why my husband and I decided to live out in the country… and then, I feel truly blessed and disconnected from the world of “now”
Katherine Lauer says
Thank you so much for writing this blog post at risk of a strong, defensive reaction from readers. I could not agree with you more, even if the practice in our home isn’t as ideal as I’d yet like it.
It sorrows me that I am “radical” and inspire questions from strangers just because I require my children to read books in waiting rooms and not use electronic devices in public.
Alma says
great read! Thank you!
I saw you mention “lack of consistent routine”. I feel that’s a weak link with my kids how can I go about having a consistent routine? What do I do? Might be a stupid question but I want to get better in that area. I know I will see great success in my parenting if I had that.
Thank you! 🙂
Cassandra says
Absolutely agree and love the heart of your blog! We have very similar ideas and motivations! Cass @ TheUnpluggedFamily.com
Kelly Crawford says
Jacque,
I loved it! Thank you for saying it. It scares me to think of this generation of children growing up, having never experienced the room and freedom to grow and think and feel and play. Your post ensures that a few more will, perhaps. Love you!
Regina says
So so true! I agree with you! It breaks my heart to see parents throw a child in front of a tv or give them iPad to keep them out their feet. We don’t mind our kids coming along side of us in whatever we are doing because it gives them a chance to learn. My kids enjoy outside with out fear of hurting themselves, its a part of life! Im thankful my mother raised me without electronics because it definitely didn’t hurt me and im raising my kids the same.
Amanda says
Wonderfully written article! Thank you for the book resources…great list! Also, note of encouragement to other moms who may have a tv/video game addicted family. We use to be that family and little by little weaned them off and replaced those activities with toys, outdoor time, daddy/guy time, science projects, art, books, and free play. (let’s not forget the club house that dad built out back!) I started off with no technology Sundays then added Wednesdays. (Church days) I made sure I had a schedule/list of ideas and a boredom book (list of ideas) in place. And if they said “I’m bored” I responded “that’s okay, you do not need to be entertained all the time” Insert look of astonishment here! (from the kids) Pinterest has tons of ideas! They also now of volunteer time. They can make a dish in the kitchen to take to an elderly neighbor or they can just go visit with them. Last, but not least, go play with them! Go outside and play!
Jacqueline says
Wow! Amanda, I am so glad and THANKFUL for proactive parents like you! Your children are in such a much better place! Thanks so much for taking the time to comment and share your story! If you would want to write what you did (details in a story line, we can talk about how to possibly make it into a post of encouragement for other families!
God bless you and yours richly, dear Mama!
Shehla says
I love your article!! I grew up in an apartment , yet I wanted my kids to grow up in a house with a backyard. My kids and I are in the backyard each day looking at our garden and all the natural wonders of God; insects, vegetable garden, tress, flowers. Thank you for reminding us that we don’t need technology to enjoy childhood nor to raise children:)
Laurie Race says
I grew up on a farm; my sisters and I were outside whenever possible, in the yard, the fields, and woods. If the weather was bad, we played in the barn stacking haybales into mazes of tunnels to crawl through.
My kids don’t get cell phones until they’re over 18 and then only if needed (we have an extra family one if they need one before), all our phones are basic, we have no ipads, etc. We have 2 portable dvd players and 2 laptops and time on those is very limited. No tv at all. There’s a lot of imaginative play that goes on around here both inside and outside. We live in the country with room to run and plenty of nature to explore.
Jacqueline says
You are doing it right, Laurie! I am blessed to know there are still some families who are FREE of the devices and relate to each other face to face! I thank God for your family and your firm stand 🙂
Blessings!
Amy Jung says
Hi Jacqueline! I enjoyed your post this morning! It affirms what I think…but I want more of this for my kids! Even though I agree, it does take effort as parents of young children are swimming against the current. Your post reminded me of how serious this issue is. I’m so concerned for kids and our future!! Prayer is needed…
Kathryn Ross says
Jacqueline! I’m so with you on this. A passion of mine, too, which has informed the type of writing I do creating literature for what I call family literacy and discipleship. I write curriculum, but leave lots of holes for the parent/teacher/student to fill in–especially in how they process what they gain from the stories through drama and the arts. I am so thankful my kids were raised just prior to all this obsession with screens and overly-structured days. They enjoyed free play, building forts, creating art, making plays and films, sewing, forming their own band, fishing, etc. Homeschool and home church were huge helps in making such a life. My heart aches with you on this issue. I appreciate how wonderfully articulate you are expressing the heart of the issue. Bless you, milady!
Joy!
Kathy
Jacqueline says
I would have loved to have you as my Mom, Kathryn!! How much fun that would have been 🙂 Haha! Only problem is that you are too young to have been my Mother, and I was raised to run and play in the creek and put on plays and swing really high and make up games and sew and paint and read, read, read.., etc. I am guessing we are about the same age? I’m 64 now 🙂
Anyway, I cry inside to see the LOSS in so many childrens’ lives. I see many empty (should I say hollow?) eyes and flat affects in body language. Not that our lives are perfect..far from it. Lord, have mercy on us and come quickly!
Kathryn Ross says
Yes, it’s why I write what I write. My latest Fable Springs Parable book is coming out April 4th for the purpose of providing materials for family literacy and discipleship through the power of story–parables–teaching the way Jesus taught all ages all at the same time. I am working on the launch this week. Would you be interested in reviewing a digital copy with a bonus excerpt of my audio book dramatization? I could message you a link to the page with directions and links. I’m turning 57 years old this year and though my babies are grown and married and have young families of their own, my decades devoted to teaching and learning together is all I know. And now, I’m making the fruit of those years available to other families.Feels daunting, but God makes the way.
Joy to you!
Kathy
Tyra says
Jacqueline,
New friend this is my 1st time visiting and I’m glad I came by from #raralinkup. As a child who spent lots of time outdoors and with my head buried in books and journals, I’ve tried to create the same environment for my children. The challenge comes when well meaning relatives and even spouses have different opinions and seek to feed the children electronics as THE source of learning & entertainment. Even in schools today so much of their learning is computer based and again spouse doesn’t consent to homeschooling. I also have 5 children and each has their own interests so I try to let them choose one activity but one me shuttling each of 5 around causes much of our lives to be spent in the car. School is far from home (more car time). So I find myself in a quandary. But I am grateful for your gentle reminder. And I’m MUCH looking forward to welcoming my #6 baby in May as to give myself, my children, spouse and my extended family a valid reason to cease much of the hustle and bustle. Blessings.
Jacqueline says
God bless you, Tyra! I am praying with you for a balance in agreement with your husband. May the Lord guide and direct you to that sweet spot for your family. Do your best and ask the Lord to open doors and close doors so you know just what and what not to do. He will direst as you trust Him!! Hugs and blessings as you prepare for your next little one 🙂
PaF says
Depression, identity crises, hate for learning, sleep disorders and other woes ignited desires for a God centered reunion in my life. The attempt was thwarted by the abduction and false imprisonment of my offspring. One mother’s heart bleeds in support for moving toward a better world. I stand not beside you, not behind you, but in the path of the destroyer. Good be with you. Teach the children well!
PaF says
God be with us, everyone!
Lori West says
Love the pictures you chose and quite agree and am convicted.
Michelle says
I appreciate this article very much and also the comment of Tina and I agree with most but I will have to disagree about “answers are not in history” because they truly are. What is scripture after all? A history of God’s people and how he Helped them become more like Him. History can always be learned from and the mistakes or good things that come from it make our lives better. We live in a different time, with different resources and society changes throughout time but God’s principles don’t change. We see that in history and history can be a great remembrance tool of those principles that we should be striving to live. Technology can be used for good not just evil but the principle that experiencing life by living it in real time not in virtual time I believe is the heart and what I took as the message of this article.
Jacqueline says
Thank you, Michelle, you said it very well 🙂
God bless you and have a wonderful Easter with your family!!
Bernell Taylor says
Thanks, Jacqueline, for this well thought message. It applies not only to parents and grandparents, but teachers and anyone who interfaces with kids. My wife and I have been on a mission for the LDS Church in Uganda. We’ve learned so much. I’ll post our website here so you can visit if you like. There are related articles to this blog titled: Human Beans (free posters to download), The Avatar Life (article on our digital personality, and Happiness Documentary. Hope it helps in your pursuit of sharing as well.
Jacqueline says
Thanks, Bernell! Glad it was encouraging for you.
Kathleen says
It is for all the reasons you listed that we’ve chosen to live out in the country, homeschool (and subsequently chose Charlotte Mason’s methods), and resist the lure of most organized activities.
We have three boys who spend a lot of time building things, catching toads & bugs, and inventing all sorts of games. They get pretty dirty!
We read a lot. Instead of screen time, we enjoy audio books. Instead of rushing off to activities (yes, even many church activities), we enjoy dinner as a family and bedtime stories with Daddy.
I love this way of life and don’t mind bucking the system, but occasionally I do wonder if we’ve gone overboard. We know very few families who embrace a similar lifestyle. We’re definitely the “odd man out” in most of our circles.
So thanks for this shot in the arm–your words remind me why we’ve chosen this path, and I’m encouraged to keep on keeping on!
(By the way, Mission of Morherhood is one of my all-time favorite books on parenting. Sally Clarkson is one of my heroes!)
Jacqueline says
Oh, Yay!! You are a Mama after my own heart! Your parenting instincts will reap blessings for you when coupled with sound biblical teaching and admonition! Keep on keeping on, Kathleen!!
Anita Gooch says
Thank you for a thought provoking article! It was a real blessing to me!
Jacqueline says
Praise God, Anita! It is my pleasure, friend.
We have so little time to guide and influence our children’s heart and minds before they are off on their own, and we must use it wisely.
Mommabear says
Great blog post! We are drifting in this new age technology world..forcing us to evolve to unatural living. I hope this reaches MANY!
Jacqueline says
Thank you, Mommabear! I do, too! Here’s to happy and healthy families and children who will be able to parent well in the next generation!
Blessings!
Amber says
What a lovely post. I strive to limit my children’s tv (and often fail in that regard) but I stand strong on NO computers or anything similar for their ages. They are not allowed to touch my or daddy’s phones. They are 4 and 2! We went on a week long road trip a while back and everyone just assumed we would need to buy them something to watch movies in the car. We packed picture books, etch-a-sketch, etc and they were fine. The 4 year old especially loved just gazing out the car windows as the scenery changed. It’s all just so… not necessary.
More to the point, what I get out of this post is not so much what we do or don’t do with our children, but with our OWN behavior and how it models to them. While I limit my children’s access to technology, all too often the come looking for mommy and find me glued to a computer screen. Their little soft sighs as they patiently wait are telling. This is an excellent wake-up call to get myself away from technology. Thank you!
Jacqueline says
Amber, I am thanking the Lord it was timely for you! I still wrestle with it, but we can make great strides when we are aware! God bless you and your efforts, Mama!
Elihu says
We have a daily 45 minutes of “quiet time” at home where my 3 kids have to keep themselves occupied quietly without screens. They can play, draw, read books, nap, whatever, but they have to be quiet. It’s great! I also make them time their screen time. When the timer is up, they’re done and have to move on to something different outside or in, but no screen! It’s a balancing act. I don’t think total deprivation is the answer, nor is self-regulation. It’s important they explore and discover the outdoors, and, as you say get bored sometimes. We only allow our kids 1 extra-curricular each so we can all have some down time. Great post!
Jacqueline says
Elihu, We did things much the same way as you, but we had less pressure because it was a number of years ago. Thank you for the comment, Dad. Great to know there are other families that are more serious about the outcome of their children!!!!
N. K. Dover says
What I have seen as a substitute teacher, Sunday School teacher, and just being around children, is that children are starving for real conversation–where the adult is focused on them without distraction. They do need time to play in the dirt, catch polliwogs, pick dandelions, ride bikes, rollerskate on the sidewalk, color and create from their own imagination, etc.; but they need face time with adults who love them and they will go looking for it from someone else if they don’t get it! I see parents who have their child signed up for sports, music lessons, dance lessons, camps, arts lessons–something different each night of the week! And the pressure to have your child on a team is awful. What I don’t see–is children playing outside. I don’t see children getting up their own game of baseball or basketball or playing tag or any other game outside JUST FOR FUN. I discovered recently that kids today have never heard of a wiffle ball–and I could not find a wiffle ball or bat in any store. When was the last time you saw girls playing jumprope? Or jacks? or kids playing marbles? I think we need to stop doing the whole ball team thing (or at least minimize it) and let them play for fun.
Jacqueline says
Oh, N.K. Dover, if you would write a whole post on that, I would certainly publish it! I couldn’t agree more with your whole statement!!!
Thank you 🙂 And I’m serious about writing a post… 🙂
Jaime says
WOW! “Historically, societal changes have been in musical taste and style of dress. Now change has to do with technology and the use of technology to deal with social relations, and it is stealing the very lifeblood out of our relationships! Children are starving for real life experiences and relationships and are forgetting how to live when bombarded by the emptiness of media and its constant pull and addiction.”….this, is my favorite line! As a teacher at a technology magnet school, I am expected to use technology to replace relationship…(now of course, our admins would not state that out loud); but, when I post the agenda online so students can use it after class or when they are absent; when I am expected to post directions for assignments online so students have access to them at home; and when the “please, come and see me” attitude that I have is unacceptable to parents…something is wrong. What am I teaching my students if I can’t have them come to me to get instructions? What am I teaching my students if I replace my flesh and blood relationship with one that is electronic? What are we teaching our students if we expect that they don’t have to listen to us, but that they can just go online after class…they don’t have any responsibility to write down notes or what the homework is…after all, it’s provided for them? I am very discouraged in this, and I absolutely agree with you. Blessings to you Jacqueline…your words are hitting me today…this is very real, and very needed.
Jacqueline says
Oh, my heart is so sad. Your words ring true and I’ve seen it myself. Thank you for your kind words for the post. it looks like the only recourse we have is to pray and trust the Lord. The fact that He is the answer (the only answer) is coming clearer and more obvious to me all the time! Thank you for what you are doing to stem the tide, Jaime!
Blessings!
Bernadette says
Very wise words! Thank you for posting.
Megan says
Hi Jacqueline!
I love this article! With your permission, we’d love to feature it on our website, Real Imprints. If you haven’t heard of us yet, we are a website and organization that recently launched a new focus to inspire hope and healing in mental health, addiction, family, self, faith, and giving back. If you are interested, please email me!
Megan
Jacqueline says
Yes, that would be wonderful, Megan! Feel free, and I thank you for asking permission. I would appreciate a link back, if you could.
Anything to help inspire and encourage. I will email you Monday if you don’t see this here. Having company! Thanks 🙂
Megan says
We will mention and link back to your site. We are so excited to feature this article! Please submit your article with at least one picture (landscape works best) to partner@realimprints.org, and I will let you know when the article is up on the site! Thank you so much!
Megan
Megan says
If you have any questions, feel free to email me! 🙂
Lady Lilith says
I have to say I fully agree with you. While I cannot change parents, I have been blogging about play just because it allows kids time to have fun, problem solve and just be kids while learning. It makes me sad how kids are so disconected and robotic.
Terra says
This was a wondeful article and spot on! As a mother of 7, soon to be 8, it is an issue we are always trying to balance out. We have 2 teenagers and a soon to be teenager and it is so hard for them, at least my two sons, to understand that it is okay to be bored sometimes so they can become creative. I am so lucky that they do all spend a large amount of time outside and they are also extremely aware that their younger siblings are watching them, so they do try to set a healthy example. I have also been blessed with an amazing 17 year old daughter that has embraced many “old fashioned ways.” She would rather hike, cook, read and play than spend time on her phone or a computer. God blessed me with a kindred spirit in her. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this, I really enjoy reading your posts!
Jacqueline says
Thank you, Terra! It is my pleasure to write, but it is all the Lord and nothing in me really. Sometimes I think I have no right to share things because I am such a sinner. We didn’t parent perfectly and make a lot of mistakes! Somewhat like telling your child to be patient when you yourself are so impatient (even if I don’t always let it show) 😉
God bless you!
Amanda says
Please pray for our family as this is the type of childhood I long to offer them but where we live there are no season, no creeks to explore, no mountains, no places to just run around and be kids. We adore our church and between that and lack of finances it is the only thing holding us in muggy, mosquito infested Florida. Doing the best with what we have. <3
Jacqueline says
Amanda, I will agree with you as you seek where the Lord would have you live. He has a way of making things work for His glory and our good when we seek Him and ask for wisdom!! Hugs, dear mama!
Annie says
Jacqueline thank you for this blog post. Yes! I agree that every household in America needs a firm foundation based on Jesus Christ and His teachings. The most important relationship is one with God. That said, I agree with you and hope the next generation will wake up and realize what they are missing out on by NOT following their hearts — and not allowing their children to slow down, say NO to so many activities, and just relax playing and being out doors often – in nature. Just be kids.
Taking walks, hiking as a family, growing gardens no matter how small! The amount of screen time/ social media starts earlier and earlier as moms ‘use’ this as a baby sitter. Our phones are never ‘out of sight’ usually in our hands – as we justify by saying we have to get that picture or video… while we stare at that screen not hearing our toddler ask us to help stack their blocks…ignoring them without even realizing it, over and over again.
Sure, we made mistakes back in ‘the old days’ – but I disagree with Tina that we romanticize ‘pre internet’ time. I wish we would study it more and emphasize the ways in which kids today will thrive living more like we did then.
There are countless studies proving the benefits of time spent outside on learning, and free play for kids to run, climb trees and build forts with sticks… please don’t lessen the importance of the way we did things in the past. Fresh air has mental health benefits as well as physical.
Having children later in life at 40, and now having an empty nest, makes me so thankful we did raise our kids based on ‘old fashioned’ values. I’m convinced they benefitted greatly from both a firm foundation based on christianity – and – more outside time and less screen time allowing them to figure out ways to relax naturally. My prayer is that they pass these ideals on down if they start a family one day! Thanks again for your insight and encouragement to younger new moms figuring this all out!
Nani Kester says
So well said. As a gramma I see the changes in the world and work to save my little corner. iPads are limited, car time is minimal, and outside is a group experience. Your article had much to ponder and to share. Thank you
Jacqueline says
I am so encouraged to hear there are still many families living/facilitating these foundational essentials for their family! Stand firm, Nani! ~J