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As a Christian woman and mother who believes that women should be treasured and honored, I just don’t understand the Fifty Shades of Grey madness. Something is deeply wrong with a culture that while glamorizing sexual abuse, uses the word ‘bondage’ to describe the willingness of a wife to come under loving leadership of her husband.
glam·or·ize/, verb
-
make (something) seem glamorous or desirable, especially spuriously so.“the lyrics glamorize drugs”
spu·ri·ous/, adjective
Honestly, if you must read about a wealthy man who sexually manipulates and dehumanizes women, all you need to do is turn to news from France. Just read about Dominique Strauss-Kahn. There’s your real life Christian Grey.
Why are so many women (including Christian women) excited to watch this melodramatic (and by all accounts poorly written) idiotic story that romanticizes and normalizes sexual violence. Some of you have already gone.
Are we dealing with a new drug?
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Fifty Shades Of Grey
The draw of wealth and expensive playthings, a ‘love’ story format with two ‘beautiful people’ coached in their lines with the camera angle just right, the apparently convincing suggestion that purity is stupid, and oh, so much more I picked up in the trailer are all designed to create dissatisfaction with our life. Fantasizing or actually embracing the Fifty Shades of Grey lifestyle is only a further trap.
Lies That Women Believe Are:
That Fifty Shades of Grey (or any other demeaning movie) is just a little innocent fun (Proverbs 1:11)
That your watching Fifty Shades of Grey won’t hurt your children (Luke 17:2)
That movies/books that glamorize sin won’t lessen you or steal another piece of your humanity (Proverbs 6: 26)
That women can find real, lasting love in a twisted relationship like this (Cor. 13:4-5)
That time spent with an evil person will all turn out good in the end (1 Cor. 15:33)
That a sound mind is not forfeited in acts of degradation and humiliation (Rom. 1: 24-27)
That if you are powerful and successful enough others will be OK with whatever you do
That loveless sex and degradation is liberating (John 8: 36)
That playing with sin will not have consequences (Romans 6: 23)
That pornography doesn’t kill love…
It does!
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Fifty Shades Review
The New York Post’s one sentence review of Fifty Shades of Grey sums it up perfectly. “The film never pretends to be other than what it really is: soft-core porn for the ladies, diluted with an “R” rating.”
(source – Fight This New Drug)
How easy it is to give over your heart to these lies when you are not tethered to Christ. Media specializes in marketing their wares – you know – like ‘selling’ you on something, and the bottom line is greed. Those who succumb to the huckster’s pitch are devoured, like a fish on a line.
Are we desensitized?
Or are we crying out to God for His intervention? Do you realize that our children and grandchildren will live in world where this kind of perversion and pornography is considered ‘acceptable’ in American culture? We must inform them that it’s not normal! It is abnormal and against nature, and it is destroying the foundation of families one by one.
“The problem with the sex portrayed in this movie, or in any trashy romance novel you find at the airport, or in many other films and TV shows, or in many actual relationships, is that it’s always self-seeking, never honest, never truthful, never trusting, and never protecting. There is no hope in it, no kindness, no sacrifice. It’s selfish and removed, which makes it stale, which is why people tire of it so quickly and become so bored with it all, which is why they consume so much porn and bounce between so many different one night stands.” ~Matt Walsh
It’s difficult to overstate the dangers. Fifty Shades of Grey (and other similar flicks) teach our daughters that pain and humiliation are to be desired. Is this really the kind of relationship we want our daughters to willingly and eagerly entering into? It teaches your son that girls want a man who will control and intimidate them. Do we really want our sons to think it manly to be a stalker and batterer like Christian Grey, practicing a violent masculinity that degrades men as well?
And we shouldn’t underestimate the impact of media’s hard sell on our younger children. Images of bondage, the ties and ropes, are everywhere we look.
Is it because our older generation has thrown up our hands or fallen asleep? Have we given up teaching about the beautiful things God has done for us, His mercies and grace, including saving us from the wrath and destruction to come? So many parents have abdicated the care and teaching of their children to go off and seek their own entertainment.
Satan is delighted, I’m sure!
“Do what is good and run from evil – that you may live! Then the LORD God Almighty will truly be your helper…” ~Amos 5: 14
A warning to the women lining up to see these kinds of films, and please do not underestimate the significance of this:
There is nothing ennobling or empowering about humiliation, torture, or whips and chains. Women as a group will not gain power by cooperating with violent men. Women would be serving only as an promoter to further women’s’ sexual degradation, handing themselves on a silver platter to exactly the sort of men who want to use and abuse them and take away their power.
And it’s ironic to me that women who love this trash reject biblical submission in marriage!
So, precious women, don’t believe these lies any longer. Pursue relationships the way Almighty God designed them, and you’ll have a greater chance of finding genuine pleasure.
Shout out: “Fight the New Drug” is a non-religious and non-legislative organization that exists to provide individuals the opportunity to make an informed decision regarding pornography by raising awareness on its harmful effects using only science, facts, and personal accounts.” You can support their efforts (and buy a variety of awesome t-shirts!) on their website: https://fightthenewdrug.org/ and like their FB page!
“The thief comes to steal, kill and destroy, but I [Jesus] have come that you might have life and have it to the full.” ~John 10: 10
ChristyH
I agree completely with what you are saying.
What I really wonder is where are the feminists? They should be out in droves to protest this movie. All that work to “liberate” us from the home and the “tyranny” of men to swing so far back as to come a complete circle and have this movie that goes beyond mere domestic abuse into glamorous sexual violence. It boggles the mind.
Heather
They are too busy supporting the sacrifices of unborn babies!
Ifeoma Samuel
I just read a post on this same book now!! Is this a coincidence. The blogger also condemned the book for women. Phew! this book must be a definite no go area.
Thanks a lot Jacqueline.
http://purposefulandmeaningful.blogspot.com/
Cynthia Swenson
You said it so well! Now, I think I want to quit reading anything else about FSoG & concentrate on the pure, lovely, etc. It has blessed me to read so many thoughtful & wise posts about it…I’m sure at some point the Lord will remind me of some of those points when I have opportunity to talk to my young people. Love & prayers, in Jesus, Cynthia
Jacqueline
I agree about not talking about it any more. We had a discussion about ‘not even mentioning what others do in secret.’ Someone told me that Paul spoke about it (not in detail, of course), and we need to exhort one another to holiness. There’s a fine line and I hope it isn’t too suggestive.
Thanks for caring about those young people. I’m praying right alongside of you, Cynthia.
Jill York
I am so heartbroken for what is being glamorized in this movie. It is the opposite of how God intends things to be. Thank you for writing so boldly on this. I’m going to check out Old Fashioned!
Jacqueline
I am so glad we can offer and alternative! Thank you, Jill!
Have a blessed week, friend!
JES
I have never heard of this movie until recently but am shocked that Christian women would watch it. Perhaps I am old fashioned but first off, it is rated R (and because of strong sexual content including dialogue, some unusual behavior and graphic nudity, and for language). Isn’t that simple enough to keep the believer away??? I barely trust secular rated PG movies these days… This is all very disturbing that we even have to warn women and that they already don’t have the discernment to see this from the advertised picture of the movie alone.!
“Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry…” ~ Colossians 31:5
Jacqueline
JES!!! I should have had you write a forward to the post! Couldn’t agree more! What we used to think of as plain ‘common sense’ now needs to be shouted and explained and by many is looked at as prudishness. Pitiful! We need more renewing of the mind! “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–His good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:2
Love you, dear friend!
Annette
Exactly what I’ve been thinking all along about the R rating. And Romans 12:1-2 comes to mind daily now as I watch the the choices of even those who say they are believers.
Thank you!
Jacqueline
So glad to see your comment here, Annette. We are going to be a remnant in the sense that there are not many included! Interesting times, but we stand firm!
Charlotte Moore
What a shame so much filth to entice people. LORD have Mercy!!!
GOD BLESS!!!
Jacqueline
He is having mercy, Charlotte! He is awakening many young women and also some very amazing young men to desire much more than what the world has to offer! Please pray that many will accept faith in Jesus and Thrive in the freedom that truth bring… to have life and have it more abundantly!!
I love you so much! ((Hugs)) <3
Marci Ferrell
Thank you for taking the time to tackle this one Jacque. I find it so difficult to see why professing Christians would even argue for the freedom to see this movie.
Jacqueline
I didn’t want to tackle it, Marci! I really wanted to think it had already been said, but the prompting just kept on. I hope it wasn’t just me thinking I could say it differently or something…I am sick to my stomach and mourning the loss of moral and right thinking in our country and world. I find I pray much of the day as I work. I think that’s where the Lord wants us anyway!
Love you, sister. I am thankful for you!
Carrie
Thank you so much for speaking out in loving truth on this subject. This has been a subject of frustration among my friends and I as we are seeing even our community saturated in this. There is a billboard that has ads for a local jeweler and has since I was young. It currently shows a shot of a couple from neck down and says, “Propose now before she meets Mr. Grey.” This makes me sad and angry all at once. I appreciate the biblical, concise reply.
Jacqueline
Thank you, Carrie,
I almost didn’t write it because I was afraid of the topic. Let’s keep praying, friend!
Katie
This has been one of the very best views of 50 Shades I have read yet. You said, “…Do you realize that our children and grandchildren will live in world where this kind of perversion and pornography is considered ‘acceptable’ in American culture?” :/ I’m a college student. This kind of perversion and pronography is ALREADY considered much more “acceptable” in American culture than you/we/I think or are aware 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁
Thank you for this post– it was great, by God’s grace. People will tell us not to judge/shame, but while, YES, we are to love what God loves, we are also to HATE what He hates! 🙁
Jacqueline
Katie,
I thank you for your kind words and encouragement. I am praying that you will stay grounded in Jesus and grow strong as a force for good (for Christ) in this wicked world. I appreciate your commenting, too.
Blessings!
Toni
Oh dear, oh dear, I had no idea what this was about at first. 50 shades of grey to me would mean an astute appraisal of Monday’s loads of laundry as we have no television and don’t go out to see movies. Time was when showing a bit of ankle raised eyebrows and affected reputations – how far we have fallen. Sin truly is a drug that just keeps the user wanting more and more, little by little. But thank the Lord He has made a way of escape for us. And, Jacqueline, thank you for sharing this as I’m sure some of your readers no doubt have been affected by or at least tempted to watch such garbage. Your posts never fail to be encouraging and enlightening.
The Lord Bless you for your efforts to shine light in this increasingly dark age. 🙂
Hope you have a wonderful weekend!
Jacqueline
Thank you, Toni.
Please pray for me as I feel under spiritual attack for trying to be salt and light..I thank you for always encouraging me. I am pretty low today and appreciate your prayers so, so much!
Love you, sister 🙂
Terri Presser
Thank you for taking the time to link this great post up at Good Morning Mondays. I hope and pray that many women will read it and NOT go see the movie or read the book. Blessings to you as you stand against all that is wrong in the world.
Jacqueline
Thanks, Terri!
I’m glad I found your Good Morning Mondays! 🙂
Gigi
I’ve never read anything about the actual story of this book, but I keep seeing people raving about it everywhere. I’m horrified to read here what the content actually is! This just shows the captivity that women find themselves in.
I praise God for you and your blog! Always such a blessing and encouragement to us women 🙂
Jacqueline
Awww, thank you, Gigi,
I humbly submit that it is all the Lord. he gives me the vision of what to write and share, and I’m just the vehicle…a willing, but terribly flawed vessel (cracked)! See this on cracked vessels: https://deeprootsathome.com/cracked-vessels/
Blessings, friend 🙂
KalleyC
I’m so late to this, but I was so turned off by all the hype that people made of this movie! It looked like utter trash. It’s a shame that movies like this are making its way into our culture, and being a part of our culture. This does nothing to value women, and the unique role that we play in society. I totally agree, that this was one of the movies that should have been avoided, and not a Valentine’s Day movie at all. Great post on this!
Jacqueline
Thank you, Kalley C! It was difficult to write, but I’m glad the Lord gave me the words to do it if it prevents just one from going to see it.
Hydrazine
While the film certainly is overboard on the content, I don’t think it’s glorifying the action of men whatsoever. The story is of the girl being trapped using cult entrapment techniques, and subsequently escaping the toxic relationship. I guarantee the movies are not glorifying the manipulation of women in any of the ways you suggest.
Jacqueline
Hydrazine, I do believe that these kinds of messages are desensitizing many. Everything on the exterior looks so perfect, and with social media, that “look” is what people strive for.
We can agree to disagree here, but the slick subtilties of what is cool, edgy, and “empowering” are definitely there for the takers in the crowd.
Thank you for commenting! ~J