Have you or your family ever buried a child? It’s difficult to imagine something more heart-breaking or tragic.
The most intense pain in my life has been having multiple miscarriages. Then, the greatest blow came after we had been married nineteen years (at the ripe old age of 41) when I conceived twins. I thought we would have two children, but at 4 months along, we lost one of our twins. I fell into deep despair for a time, almost forgetting the baby I still carried.
When I read the following story of the Ayres family, I gained a new and very important eternal perspective even after all these years, and I feel I should share it with you.
While we are not told why the children died, reading of this family’s faith helped tremendously with the grieving after all these years.
It is true that many of you have walked the same heartbreaking road of losing a child, and it is my prayer that this story will affect more healing work in you as it has in me. In it is a seed of how to trust God with our most important possessions and to continue living with a blessed hope in Jesus!
The true story that follows is an excerpt from the The Gospel Coalition by Kristen Gilles:
How the Ayres Family Buried Their 8 Children
“Could we bear the burden of burying any more children?”
“My husband, Bobby, and I have often pondered this question since we buried our son Parker, who was stillborn last fall.“Recently, we walked through the oldest cemetery in New Albany, Indiana, where the founders and many of our town’s first settlers are buried. We happened upon the family plot of a father, mother, and their eight children. These parents buried all of their sons and daughters before their oldest was even 20 years old. Contemplate this family’s story of hope-filled suffering.
“In 1820, 28-year-old Elias and 24-year old Mary Ann Ayres celebrated the birth of their first child, Mary. The next year they received their firstborn son, William. Three years later in 1824, they added another son to their family, Edward. And in 1826, they welcomed another daughter, Caroline H.
“After their fifth child, Henry, was born in January 1829, suffering swept in. Their 3-year-old daughter Caroline H. died in August 1829. Her memorial stone says, “She came forth as a flower and was cut down.”
“Two months later, they buried their 8-year-old son, William. His epitaph reads, “He was a precious gift. In his youth he sought the Lord God of his fathers and is not for God took him.”
“In 1830, several months after they buried Caroline H. and William, they were comforted with the birth of their third daughter, Caroline S. In August of that same year, however, they laid to rest their fifth-born, Henry (20 months old).
“With three of their six children now in heaven, Elias and Mary Ann journeyed on together as a family well acquainted with grief. In March 1833, God blessed them with another daughter, Cornelia. But 16 months later, they gathered at Fairview Cemetery twice in the month of July 1834 to bury Cornelia (16 months old) and Caroline S. (4 years old).
“As Cornelia’s tombstone testifies, Elias and Mary Ann were still blessing the name of the Lord even after he’d taken five of their seven children to heaven. It reads: “The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken. Blessed be the name of the Lord.”
“Two years later in 1836, they celebrated the birth of their eighth child, their fifth daughter, Maria. The next year, however, Elias and Mary Ann laid their Maria to rest.
“Then in 1839, Elias and Mary Ann buried their 19-year-old daughter, Mary, and their 15-year-old son, Edward, one in July and the other in December. Mary’s memorial stone declares, “Her life was hid with Christ in God, and when He who is her life shall appear, then shall she appear with Him in glory.”
“With all of their children resting in peace, this couple likely visited their family plot at Fairview often, encouraged by the truth inscribed on their children’s stones. In 1842, just three years after burying the rest of his children, 50-year-old Elias was laid to rest. His testimony reads, “Blessed are the dead which die in the Lord.”
“For the next 36 years, Mary Ann was temporarily parted from her husband and all of her children until her death in 1878. She was 82 years old. Her tombstone epitaph quotes Psalm 4: “I will lay me down in peace and sleep.” She knew the safety and rest of belonging to God, just as she and Elias had taught their children.
“When I first discovered the Ayres family story in Fairview Cemetery, I was heartbroken as I realized their continual suffering (and imagined my own suffering magnified eight or nine times). But as I read the testimonies of these parents who chiseled God’s Word on the memorial stones of their children, I saw God’s grace at work in their suffering, just as it is in our family’s suffering. We know what they know: God is faithful to his Word and can always be trusted. He should be praised from one generation to the next.
“We can trust our Lord no matter what suffering we may endure because he has already endured it for us. He will help us until the day he returns. Until that day, we must hope in the Lord as we lift our voices to bless the name of the One who gives and takes. We will remember that our lives are hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is our life appears, then we will also appear with him in glory.”
This is a true story by Kristen Gilles, a worship leader at Sojourn Community Church in Louisville, Kentucky. She is married to Sojourn communications director Bobby Gilles. Together they write about worship and songwriting at mysonginthenight.com.
“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” ~Hebrews 11:1
“For my Father’s will is that everyone who looks to the Son [Jesus] and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day.” ~Jesus’ words in John 6:40
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The Farmer's Wife
Such a powerful story Jacqueline. I would be honored if you would pin it to Shepherding Hurting Women so it could help many who visit the board.
Blessings,
Glenda
What a powerful story! I did not expect the impact I received! What a special family indeed and the ripple effect of their examples of grace, testimony of God, and trust in the Lord under such crushing adversity. I will not soon forget them and felt compelled to want to hug them all and wish I’d been there to try to do something, anything!
God bless all here who are hurting. I do understand on some level. I had a miscarriage too. Thank you for this story so much!!!!!!!!!!
Jacqueline
Oh, Glenda, I just love your heart! You are a kindred spirit in the Lord! Love to you in Jesus, new friend!
Mary
The story reminded me of my grandmother. She gave birth to 11 . Fritz died at 21, Anita at 18, Ione at 9 and Lela at 3 from diabetes before there was insulin. The twins died at 18 months from a combination of whooping cough and diphtheria. 2 more died shortly after birth. Only 3 lived to adulthood. I don’t knowhow they did it.
Jacqueline
Oh, Mary,
How sad! I think that tragedy has the power to draw us closer to the Lord, but it also can do the opposite. May we all draw near to our Lord in times of trouble (as well as times of thanksgiving and joy)!
God bless you, dear one!
Cindee
I found an (regretfully) incomplete story about the Ayers’ here:
http://www.nafclibrary.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/EliasAyers.pdf
Christie Thompson
“The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken. Blessed be the name of the Lord.” This is one thing I said after both my husband and oldest son (9) were killed in a car accident. God is good, no matter what! He is worthy of our praise, no matter what! He continues to be worthy, 6 yrs after, as I’m still single parenting my 3 remaining children. In this life, we will have tribulation, but we can be encouraged and have peace knowing that God has overcome this world.
John 16:33
I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”
Jacqueline
Christie, your focus on the greatest Gift (of Jesus) to the world is both courageous and right. May the Lord bless and keep you in an abundance of peace and joy as you walk with Him knowing that “His yoke is easy and His burden light”. Matthew 11: 28-31
I am so thankful you shared your strong faith here this evening! xoxo
Leslie
Having buried 2 of my 6 children, I understand their pain and suffering. Not far from our sons’ graves was a plot of tiny graves–all children of one couple who buried 5 babies in just a few years. Similarly, those grave stones gave me comfort during my grief. I knew if they could live through this awful pain, so could I with God’s help.
Jacqueline
Oh, dear Leslie, thank you for sharing your heart and how the Lord gave you the strength you needed. God bless you, dear Mama. I think both of us are awaiting seeing our little ones again in glory! And in the awesome presence of our Lord, too!
Ned Funnell
Neat to see that this story of faithfulness was told by a leader from Sojourn. We attended a different campus, but Sojourn was our home church in Kentucky.
Jacqueline
Hey, Ned! Been praying for you guys! We love what you 2 are doing and that your little family is there!
Marie
Such a tragic story. Thank goodness we now have the help of modern medicine and vaccines and many of us don’t have to suffer the same as this poor family.
Jacqueline
Marie, I don’t think you understand! They had unsanitary conditions which we do not have to live with. Please read this: https://deeprootsathome.com/doctors-warn-immune-reaction/
and this: https://deeprootsathome.com/wake-up-church-what-if-were-playing-right-into-the-enemys-hand/
and this: https://deeprootsathome.com/the-grooming-of-a-nation-took-place-right-under-our-noses/
and so many more! Oh, and this: The Story of Kitty Werthmann … https://deeprootsathome.com/kitty-werthmann-her-riveting-true-story/
Lisa
Imagine also the grief of the children as they watched their brothers and sisters pass away and their parents mourn. Of course parents suffer horrendously, but often the grief of the siblings is kind of forgotten. Thank you for this and for all that you do. Blessed be the name of the Lord.
Jacqueline
I know, Lisa! I can’t even imagine. It may have been a way of life back then, though.
Abundant grace and peace, Jacque
Amye
After reading this, I went to Find A Grave and all of the family was listed.
Not only did she lose her children and husband in that dozen years but she also lost her only sister and her brother-in law. She also lost both parents at age twenty, before marraige.
She went on to marry three different widowers, two were reverends and one was an elder (who was the originator of the New Years Eve sunrise service!) She outlived all of them, living six more years after the death of her last husband.
I think she would have been a fascinating women to have known, both in her experiences with grief as well as her obvious choice to serve life-long in faith by marrying men who served their church communities.
Jacqueline
Thank you, Amye, for digging that information up and sharing it with us here! How interesting!
Blessings,
Jacque