100 Discerning Questions & Conversation Starters For Hands-On Parenting

Photo by Thiago Cerqueira on Unsplash

Questions can be perfect conversations starters, but thinking of really good ones that are suited to your child’s age and personality can take time.

I started out asking questions of our children when they were really young – wanting to make it fun to talk with me – and it has made a lot of difference. Some I asked when we weren’t doing homeschool, and others I’d save for tucking-in-time at night before we’d pray.

Well chosen questions can open up their hearts and minds and give us opportunity:

• to see more deeply into our child’s heart
• to hear their desires and fears
• to understand better what ‘makes them tick’
• to tap into motives (maybe catch a problem early)
• to provide a way to laugh together (one of my very favorite reasons)

Based on polls with FB friends and years of asking questions, I compiled different levels of questions – first lighter ones, then one’s that go deeper – questions that need to be answered with more than just a ‘yes’ or ‘no’. These are only some examples.

First, the most general questions:

1. What do you look forward to when you wake up?

2. If you opened a store, what would you sell?

3. Which was the hardest rule to follow today?

4. What is your favorite season and why?

5. Do you know how tall you are?

6. Why do you think people get old?

7. If you were a talking animal, what animal would you be?

8. Do you like snowy or warm sunny days better?

9. If you could change one thing about today, what would you change?

10. What is your favorite movie we’ve seen?

11. Do you have a favorite song or hymn?

12. What was the nicest thing someone ever did for you?

13. If you had a garden, what would you grow?

14. What is your favorite smell? taste?

15. How would you rate your day on a scale of 1 to 10? Why?

16. How would you design a tree fort?

17. If you could name yourself again, what would it be?

18. What was the best and worst thing that happened today and why?

19. If you could be invisible for a day, what would you do?

20. What is your favorite Bible story and why?

21. Who is your favorite Bible hero?

22. If you could be any animal on earth, what would it be?

23. What’s the most delicious food you can think of?

24. Are you ever afraid after it’s dark outside?

25. What is a friend?

26. Where is your favorite place in the world?

27. Do you have a favorite word? Why do you like that word?

28. Was there something you saw today that made you think?

29. What is your favorite reading book now?

30. Do you ever feel like being silly or like singing out loud?

31. You have the whole day outside: what would you do?

32. What is your favorite ice cream?

33. Can you tell me a joke?

34. What’s something that made you happy today?

35. Do you have a favorite read aloud book from when you were really little?

36. What is your favorite holiday and why?

37. Who is your favorite superhero? What superhero power do you wish you had?

38. What is your favorite fruit?

39. What is your favorite vegetable?

40. Without ever playing favorites, do you have a favorite aunt or uncle? Why?

41. What meal can I make you for your birthday this year?

42. If you could put two animals together to make one, which animals would you choose?

43. What was the toughest part of your school/job/day today? How can you make tomorrow better?

Questions that go deeper

44. Are there things you remember from when you were a baby?

45. What four words do you think most describe you?

46. What makes you feel loved?

47. Is there a subject you are studying you want to dig into more deeply? One that you have absolutely no interest in?

48. Do you ever have good or bad dreams?

49. Do you remember your dreams so you can share them?

50. What can I do as a mom to be a better mom to you?

51. What do you think God is doing in your life?

52. What do you see God doing in our family?

53. If you were the parent, what would you do differently?

54. If you could build your own home, what would it look like? Could you draw it?

55. What is the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do so far in your life?

56. Do you have a hero that you really look up to?

57. What makes you feel sad?

58. What makes you laugh?

59. Do you ever just feel silly?

60. Do you have a good memory from when you were a toddler?

61. Do you have any inventions in your mind?

62. What was the worst day in your life?

63. What was the best day in your life?

64. Do you ever feel courageous?

65. If you could grow up to be famous for something, what would you want to be famous for?

66. Was there anything in the book ————– you are reading that made you want to be like or different than the main character?

67. What do you think that author wants to get across to the us, the readers?

68. Would you give that story a different ending, and if so, how would you end it?

69. Would you rather hear “I love you so much” or “you worked really hard, and I appreciate you”?

70. If you could do anything in life differently, what would it be?

71. What made you smile today? What did you do to make someone else smile today?

72. If you could go anywhere and do anything at all, what would you choose to do right now?

73. When you do feel your strongest?

74. When do you feel your weakest?

75. What is your greatest strength?

76. What is your greatest weakness?

77. Was there anything you saw that disturbed or made you sad you today?

78. Was there a temptation you faced today (or this week)? Are you proud of the choice you made in that moment?

79. Do you ever feel scared of anything here at home or anywhere else?

Questions focusing outward to others..

80. Did you make any new friends? Tell me about them!

81. How is your friend (insert name) doing?

82. Is there another child you want to befriend or reach out to?

83. Are you a good friend? Why do you think so?

84. Is there anything that we should pray for (your friend)?

85. How did you demonstrate a servant’s heart today?

86. What was the nicest thing you saw someone do today?

87. What would be the ugliest thing you ever saw someone do?

More ways to open doors with your kids

88. Do you have a greatest wish?

89. What are 5 of the greatest blessings in your young life?

90. Name 3 things that would be interesting to do when you are an adult.

91. What makes you feel mad? How do you control letting your anger out when you fell that way?

92. What did you do to be helpful today? or What kindness did you show someone today?

93. What would be good to eat on a picnic?

94. What do you suppose God put you on earth to do?

95. Do you have a special interest that would be a good hobby for you and why?

96. Is there something that we can pray about that is worrying you?

97. Are you pleased with yourself, upset with yourself, or discouraged with the way you tackled the world today?

98. If you could have any fantastical animal as a pet, what would you choose?

99. What’s your most favorite meal I’ve made the family in the last weeks?

100. Has anyone ever hurt you and told you not to tell? What was something that just didn’t feel right?

101. Do you like being quiet or being with a lot of people better?

102. What do you think would be a fun project for doing outside this summer?

103. Do you have any ideas for a field/car trip this summer?

104. Would you rather spend more time in the city or in the country?

105. Teach me something you learned that I may not know.

106. If you earned $100 tomorrow how much would you save, how much would you give away and how much would you spend?

107. What is the most marvelous, awesome thing to you in all of God’s creation?

There is simply not much better than seeing the world from a child’s perspective. So much we can learn from that. Start young!

Have you asked your kids the questions recently? Leave me a comment and share their best answers below?

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“Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court.” ~Psalm 127:3-5