What memories I have of my mom training me to peel potatoes. My Dutch father loved boiled, peeled potatoes. He loved them so much that we had a big pot, sometimes twice a day.
Each day she would pull out the potato peeler from the kitchen drawer, and she would show me how to do it. My little 5 year old hands soon learned how to grasp a potato in my left hand and the peeler in my right.
We had one of those old metal peelers that have a sharp blade that kind of wiggles over the sides of the potato as it removes the brown skin from its surface; Sometimes, I’d get the knuckle of my finger peeled, too. You were left with a smooth, white, firm potato that you had to then cut into smaller pieces with a knife. Those many potatoes that were peeled and cut each day went into a pot filled with water, a dash of salt, and was brought to a boil on the stove. Even today, I still prefer using a knife and cutting by hand instead of using the more speedy Cuisinart processor to cut vegetables.
Modeling my mother’s hard work and happiness in the kitchen developed many of those same things in me as a young child. I just wanted to please her.
Sometimes we would race each other to see who could peel potatoes fastest! And sometimes we would cry when the starchy water from that pot of potatoes would boil over and run down into the ring that housed the burner since we didn’t have smooth top stoves in those days. But mainly, we worked together, and I knew I was her main helper. She needed me as the oldest of four and let me know she appreciated me in many little ways. I saw that she was tired, but she didn’t rub it in or manipulate me with it. She also had my other siblings to teach—and teach, she did! We all learned!
As I look back, I know I must have left her with more to clean up, yet she made me a part of her day as best she could.
Training in obedience need not mean correction or discipline; it does means easy-going, ‘teachable moments’, caught here and there, as you teach your child in how to be capable at life skills.
Forming Good Childhood Habits In the Home At A Young Age
From the youngest years, when you cook a meal, have your little child (girl or boy!) beside you (maybe on a step stool) as you talk them through the steps of the process.
Delight in your productivity with some pretty music playing to accompany you. Make your home a happy place (it also helps to listen to them)!
If you do any number of daily activities and don’t involve your children, then you are not TRAINING UP your children.
You are actually harming them!
When you train a child to enjoy a ordered room, she will enjoy a ordered room.
When you train up a child to work (with talk, laughter and enjoyment of that child), he will feel the satisfaction of a job well done and feel valued.
When you train a child to be on time, to be kind, to work as a team, to use time wisely, and to notice what needs to be done without being asked, he will likely become a responsible and productive adult.
30 Ways Parents Can Guarantee Having To Support Their Kids Forever
Although we did our share of spanking for foolishness, the norm should be ‘Train Up’…not ‘talk until you’re blue-in-the-face’, not using ‘time-outs’, or threatening and repeating.
Those later things train in resistance and avoidance.
It starts with showing and laughing and working side-by-side and allowing mistakes and practice and more practice.
So take your little daughter (and don’t forget your son), wash her hands, and ask her up into your lap (sit if you have to at first) when you make your next sandwiches or PBJ’s.
A child will naturally imitate you. They learn by repetition!
It will slow you down considerably, but her joy in helping will be immense; and more important, she will be in training to love to work with her hands.
For working with the easily distracted or “less than diligent” child, Doorposts makes a “Go to the Ant” chart.
Filled with short, momeorable bible verses, we used this when our children were young, and it helped so much for understanding what God said about a certain behavior.
Here are some Scripture verses and a quote that will help you and your child to transform your mind during these young years of Training Up:
“So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” ~1 Cor. 10: 31
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“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.” ~Colossians 3: 23-24
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“It is the working man who is the happy man. It is the idle man who is the miserable man.” ~Benjamin Franklin
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Lauren
I am new to your blog and have been very blessed reading back through your posts slowly.
Thank you for this post. I was not trained at all in keeping a house or cooking, and have been playing ‘catch up’ learning to do those things these last few years (whilst growing, birthing and learning to raise 3 little ones). Things like training children this way are new ideas to me, and I so so value your encouragement!!
Sandy
Hi – I am a new reader. I found you because of the celery post, but now I have discovered that there is ‘meat’ here as well as veg. tips.
Thank you for this post. I am reading it with my coffee before the day starts with little ones, and a long to-do list. Just what I needed.
Thank you, and God bless you.
ChristyH
Well, I guess I have done something right as my teenage daughter wants to be JUST a wife and mom. I am trying harder to help to understand how to run a home. My own mom taught me nothing about it and wasn’t good at it at all. I am better but I want to be even better so that my daughter can run a “tighter ship.”
A young man has expressed serious interest in her and he knows this is what she wants, so I don’t have much time left to work on this. Any suggestions?
ChristyH
Yup, I just replied to myself. I can not believe how much grief I have gone from my extended family over my daughter’s desire to just be a wife and mom. They make snide remarks to me also about being a wife and mom only.
Jacqueline
Hello, Christy :)The first thing that comes to mind is the booklet that we have used with our daughter to check off what she has done and what she has yet to learn: https://www.queenshomeschooling.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=87_90&products_id=416&zenid=7641f6fa53c2b22f63f0b98f5e4ff47a
It is a simple (check-list) way for her to ‘see’ what she still needs to know. A handful of the things may or may not be important to your lifestyle, though. I hope this helps!
Julia
Can you help me find this resource? The link isn’t working for me.
Jacqueline
What resource are you asking about, Julia?
This is working: https://deeprootsathome.com/do-you-have-a-homemaker-in-training/
Kourtney
You forgot to cite your source. No Greater Joy magazine…..
Jacqueline
Thank you, Kourtney! I put it out at 2 something AM 🙂
Jedidja
Thank you, this is a nice blog. My children helped alsways when they were young. Especially my son, 14 years old, does a lot (spontaneously) in the Household now he is elder. For my daughter ( 12) I make a list. She is chaotic. She forgets her chores, or is doing it half.
Helen
Per usual, Jacqueline, I love your choice of scriptures and the great B.F. quote is one I have never heard! The NIV version of Col. 3:23 inspired a cross-stitch I call Great Works of Heart. As a happy stay-at-home mom during the early Women’s Liberation Movement (while stretching a teacher’s salary for a family of 5), I was encouraged by this C. S. Lewis quote: “The homemaker has the ultimate career. All other careers exist for one purpose only–to support the ultimate career.” PTL! It seems many women are finding that is still true today.
Jacqueline
Oh, yes!! I LOVE that C.S. Lewis quote, too, and put it on my Deep Roots At Home FB page a while back! I pray more Mothers will catch the vision for their family 🙂
I’d appreciate prayer right now for strength and wisdom, dear Helen. I ask because I know if you see this you will pray! Thank you SO much.
Charlotte Moore
Love this post.
Jacqueline
Thank you for your consistent encouragement, sweet friend 🙂
Toni
Oh Jacqueline, this is a well written and much need post. I’m certain it will be a good starting point for a lot of young mothers. I wish I’d had all the resources available now when our first daughter was born as I made a lot of mistakes, but the Lord is gracious to forgive and show us the right way to train them when we ask.
Have a great week!
Jackie
Jacqueline, I enjoyed reading this so much! It certainly brought back very similar memories of potatoes and those old stove tops. I remember that same peeler, too! 🙂
What wonderful advice you have given for young mothers. My children turned out very good but I must say, I wish my attitude and actions had been more like those you describe in this post. Oh well, maybe God gives us a second chance with grandchildren!
Pam
My mom taught me so much about maintaining a home and how to wonderfully balance a full time career as well. My mom worked outside the home as soon as she graduated high school, became a SAHM until my sister and I were in school (so my parents didn’t have to pay for child care), then electively returned to the workforce. To this day I credit her for teaching me not only how to cook and clean, but how to prioritize and manage time effectively. She worked all day, but we still had a good home cooked meal every evening for dinner, the house was clean and organized, she volunteered for extracurricular activities, helped with the homework, and never missed one single school play or concert. I also remember how much my dad helped around the house, got us to and from school activities and how he made sure we were up, breakfast-ed and safely off to school before he went to work.
Today we are teaching our children (one daughter and 2 sons) the same. I am the sole “breadwinner” in the family right now and my husband is a SAHD. We share household duties and both are active in our childrens’ schools and activities. We lead by example. The kids see the planning, the compromise, the team work, and the hard work that go into everyday family life. My husband and I share duties and our kids share duties too. I can only hope that this sticks and they grow into adults who know that it takes team work to run a household!
Jacqueline
Hi, Pam,
It sounds like you have especially dedicated parents. Your mother was intentional and cared about the details that make that arrangement work. The Lord can use any situation, but I think it is harder when the Mother is away to work since she cannot watch her children and know their hearts as effectively. There are times that it may be necessary, though, and your walk with the Lord will help you through anything (I’m thinking of disability of the husband, lack of work, etc.)
www.Koreahealthlog.com
It’s essential to know that science and medication has been around for a very long time, and they still
don’t know what goes contained in the thoughts.
They too have been working to unlock the secrets of the thoughts, as a result of they firmly believe in the truth that the thoughts is the be all and finish all of the human system.