My Daughter Leaves Home (& Great Reading List For the Older Daughter)

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My daughter walked out the door carrying as much as she could hold. She gave me a big hug, a kiss, and turned to looked at me one last time. Immediately, I began to pray.

Climbing the stairs up to her bedroom, I began to reminisce on the last 19 years.

Walking into my daughter’s bedroom, my eyes took in the span of her life from the time her Dad and I struggled to conceive ~to when her 15 month-old twin brother climbed into her crib to do ‘twin talk’ ~to when I would sing to Michael Card lullabies on cassette to them in the rocker by their window.

It was clear in my mind.

It was all so fresh.

I picked up the books she poured over and inhaled that singular fragrance of carefully sought-after older hardcovers.

I had prayed before each trip to search for old books (new ones, too) and had felt the guidance of the Holy Spirit many times. These were a gift from my heart to hers, lovingly chosen.

But time sped by, and she had grown to begin collecting her own library, developing her own feminine style, and very naturally developing special friendships in our church and community. She was no longer a girl.

A lot of times we take our children for granted, don’t we?

We can get lulled into busyness and get distracted by the pressing things of life.

We just presume that they will always be there, even though we know that separation is sometimes unavoidable and death is guaranteed in this life.

It takes times like this, times given by God, to wake us up to the brevity of time with them.

Every nook held sweet memories. A basket of yarn, a sweater in progress, little creations underway…

Thoughts of many hours spent on the sewing machine ripping out stitches, and finally getting it just right, caused me to laugh…and then tears began to well up. How I missed our sweet, funny, industrious girl!

My heart ached for all my failures and missed opportunities.

A mother’s love is boundless, and old feelings of guilt flooded me… I could have done more! done better! been kinder! been more submissive! taught school better! been more consistent! modeled so many things better!

The same old attack of the evil one was on, and my heart and mind just flowed along with it.

Seeing her Bible and journal at the bedside stemmed my flow of tears…and the pity party. The loss was replaced with hope and joy for her return.

Having aging grandparents at a distance requires attention and time, and the 4 days she was there to visit and help, I knew, were days well spent.

Concern over her considerable time on the road alone and other challenges had all built up in my mind, but certain portions of scripture flooded in bringing truth and light to the gloom within.

Yes, we were all thankful when she came home from her time away, tired and happy.

“Listen, {my daughter}, accept what I say,
and the years of your life will be many.
I instruct you in the way of wisdom
and lead you along straight paths.
When you walk, your steps will not be hampered;
when you run, you will not stumble.
Hold on to instruction, do not let it go;
guard it well, for it is your life.”

~ Proverbs 4: 10-13

Mothers, I urge you not to take this time of discipling your daughter for granted – it is indeed short! These last 21 years have flashed by, and even as flawed as I am, I still prayerfully continue to mentor and disciple. Knowing that I can’t redo them or change anything spurs me to transform my own mind and to take every thought captive for the Lord.

Don’t waste time worrying about non-essentials.

Focus on binding heartstrings.

And pray without ceasing!

Mama’s note: Our only daughter married the love of her life this January (2017) and moved with him to the PNW. Thirty-six hours away!

Now they have blessed us with our first granddaughter! (and she writes for the blog).

And while it is bittersweet, those heart strings are and will remain strong!

“We best understand the feelings and affections of God toward us when we bend over our own child and see in our human parenthood a faint image of the divine Fatherhood. Their helplessness appeals to every principle of nobleness in our hearts. Their innocence exerts over us a purifying power. The thought of our responsibility for them exalts every faculty of our souls. When old age comes, very lonely is the home which has neither son nor daughter to return with grateful ministries, to bring solace and comfort to the declining years!” ~J. R. Miller, Homemaking