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    My Daughter Leaves Home (& Great Reading List For the Older Daughter)

    10.3KViews Modified: Dec 15, 2022 · Published: Dec 17, 2013
    By Jacqueline 47 Comments

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    My Daughter Is Gone. doll face

    My daughter walked out the door carrying as much as she could hold. She gave me a big hug, a kiss, and turned to looked at me one last time. Immediately, I began to pray.

    Climbing the stairs up to her bedroom, I began to reminisce on the last 19 years.

    My Daughter Is Gone. 5 year old girl, white dress and sandals

    Walking into my daughter’s bedroom, my eyes took in the span of her life from the time her Dad and I struggled to conceive ~to when her twin brother climbed into her crib to ‘talk’ ~to when I would sing to Michael Card lullabies on cassette to them in the rocker by their window.

    It was clear in my mind.

    It was all so fresh.

    My Daughter Is Gone. Jessica's First Prayer, The Imitation of Christ

    I picked up the books she poured over and inhaled that singular fragrance of carefully sought-after older hardcovers.

    I had prayed before each trip to search for old books (new ones, too) and had felt the guidance of the Holy Spirit many times. These were a gift from my heart to hers, lovingly chosen.

    But time sped by, and she had grown to begin collecting her own library, developing her own feminine style, and very naturally developing special friendships in our church and community. She was no longer a girl.

    A lot of times we take our children for granted, don’t we?

    We can get lulled into busyness and get distracted by the pressing things of life.

    We just presume that they will always be there, even though we know that separation is sometimes unavoidable and death is guaranteed in this life.

    It takes times like this, times given by God, to wake us up to the brevity of time with them.

    books

    Every nook held sweet memories. A basket of yarn, a sweater in progress, little creations underway…

    Thoughts of many hours spent on the sewing machine ripping out stitches, and finally getting it just right, caused me to laugh…and then tears began to well up. How I missed our sweet, funny, industrious girl!

     Janome sewing machine

     Irish whistle

    My heart ached for all my failures and missed opportunities.

    A mother’s love is boundless, and old feelings of guilt flooded me… I could have done more! done better! been kinder! been more submissive! taught school better! been more consistent! modeled so many things better!

    The same old attack of the evil one was on, and my heart and mind just flowed along with it.

     Bible, and J.I Packer's book Knowing God

    Seeing her Bible and journal at the bedside stemmed my flow of tears…and the pity party. The loss was replaced with hope and joy for her return.

    Having aging grandparents at a distance requires attention and time, and the 4 days she was there to visit and help, I knew, were days well spent.

    Concern over her considerable time on the road alone and other challenges had all built up in my mind, but certain portions of scripture flooded in bringing truth and light to the gloom within.

    Yes, we were all thankful when she came home from her time away, tired and happy.

    “Listen, {my daughter}, accept what I say,      
    and the years of your life will be many. 
    I instruct you in the way of wisdom      
    and lead you along straight paths. 
    When you walk, your steps will not be hampered;      
    when you run, you will not stumble. 
    Hold on to instruction, do not let it go;      
    guard it well, for it is your life.”

    ~ Proverbs 4: 10-13

    Mothers, I urge you not to take this time of discipling your daughter for granted – it is indeed short! These last 21 years have flashed by, and even as flawed as I am, I still prayerfully continue to mentor and disciple. Knowing that I can’t redo them or change anything spurs me to transform my own mind and to take every thought captive for the Lord.

    Don’t waste time worrying about non-essentials.

    Focus on binding heartstrings.

    And pray without ceasing!

    Mama’s note: Our only daughter married the love of her life this January (2017) and moved with him to the PNW. Thirty-six hours away!

    Now they have blessed us with our first granddaughter! (and she writes for the blog).

    And while it is bittersweet, those heart strings are and will remain strong!

    “We best understand the feelings and affections of God toward us when we bend over our own child and see in our human parenthood a faint image of the divine Fatherhood. Their helplessness appeals to every principle of nobleness in our hearts. Their innocence exerts over us a purifying power. The thought of our responsibility for them exalts every faculty of our souls.  When old age comes, very lonely is the home which has neither son nor daughter to return with grateful ministries, to bring solace and comfort to the declining years!” ~J. R. Miller, Homemaking

    Great Reading List For the Older Daughter:

    Don’t Waste Your Life, by John Piper
    Lies Young Women Believe: And the Truth that Sets Them Free, by Nancy Leigh DeMoss
    Evidence Not Seen: A Woman’s Miraculous Faith in the Jungles of World War II, by Darlene Deibler Rose
    Safely Home, by Randy Alcorn
    Hearts of Fire: Eight Women in the Underground Church and Their Stories of Costly Faith, by The Voice of the Martyrs
    Jessica’s First Prayer: Jessica’s Mother, by Hesba Stretton
    Set-Apart Femininity: God’s Sacred Intent for Every Young Woman, by Leslie Ludy

    Wings Like a Dove: The Courage of Queen Jeanne D’Albret, by Christine Farenhorst
    Dr. Oma: The Healing Wisdom of Countess Juliana Von Stolberg, by Ethel Herr

    Joyfully at Home: A Book for Young Ladies on Vision and Hope, by Jasmine Bauchum

    Dreams and Visions: Is Jesus Awakening the Muslim World?, by Tom Doyle
    Authentic Beauty: The Shaping of a Set-Apart Young Woman, by Leslie Ludy
    Ollie Chandler Collection: Three Novels: Deadline, Dominion, Deception, by Randy Alcorn
    The Quest for Meekness and Quietness of Spirit, by Matthew Henry
    Knowing God, by J. I. Packer
    Lord, Change My Attitude: Before It’s Too Late, by James MacDonald 

    Can you recommend other great books to encourage our older daughters in their faith and Christian worldview?

    You can also find me on Instagram, MeWe and Telegram.

    And please join me for my FREE newsletter.  Click here.

    My Daughter Is Gone, a pretty doll face
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    « Those Unavoidable Toddler Moments & The Joys Of Parenthood
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    Hi! I’m Jacqueline!

    Thanks for being part of this journey with me.
    Welcome to my own little place on the internet! Home is where I love to be. I feel there is no greater place to incubate souls. These days you’ll find me using my experiences here to write about herbal remedies and natural health research — a big passion of mine. But being a wife and mother is not easy. It is challenging and potentially lonely. I get that. I wanted to create a place to connect with and support other moms for creating a natural, healthy, and fulfilling home life.
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